In general. All else being equal, do not interrupt me in whatever I am doing. I hate it. And if you have to do it, and you have a choice as to how, don’t do it in a way that means I have to deal with whatever it is RIGHT NOW. 

Like I have said many times before, I don’t do “sudden”. Sudden is bad. Sudden scrambles my nerves and wrecks my calm. It harshes my mellow, man. And the effects can last hours. 

I am such a delicate flower. 

Here’s what happened just now : I decide I want KFC for tonight’s Saturday night ordering in dinner.  So I go to the website. 

The first roadblock life throws at me on my journey to fried chicken happiness is that since the last time I ordered directly from KFC, they have added extra security (sigh) so now I have to input a four digit number they just emailed me to continue. 

Annoying but no big deal. Lots of sites do this. Takes a few seconds to do. 

But then it makes me pick a new password, and of course the new password has to meet stricter criterion than the last one, so now I have to make up a new password that has an uppercase letter, a lowercase letter, a number, and a typographical symbol. 

I can think of a few choice typographical symbols I could use. 

So now I have been interrupted by irritating hassles twice in the space of five minutes when all I wanna do is order some food. 

Eventually I get past that and find that KFC’s website looks totally different and has been reorganized. 

That’s a small thing but it added to the aggravation.

So I order my usual four piece box meal deal thingie, and the website says my order will be ready in 40 minutes. 

Perfect. I needed to poop anyhow, and that gave me enough time. 

So there I am, astride the throne, getting my business done while doing a crossword on my tablet. I was at peace. Cheerful, even. Looking forward to tasty foods and blogging and stuff. 

But I am not there five minutes before the phone rings. 

I decide to ignore it, letting it go to voicemail. I figure there is no way it is for me. After all, the only people who might call are KFC and they are not due for 35 minutes. 

So I ignore it. But then it rings again, and I quite reluctantly decide that I have to interrupt the operation in progress in order to be by the phone if said person calls a third time. 

That’s the worst interruption of them all, of course. For me, bathroom time is quiet time, and jarring me out of that is a serious crime. 

So I sit down at the computer and wait. Five minutes later, the phone rings. It’s the manager of the KFC. His driver is waiting outside and says I am not answering the phone. 

I say, “yeah, because the website said 40 minutes and it’s been like ten. ” 

That is, I eventually say that, because at random moments I hear this goddamned super high pitched electronic chirp that deafens me and further scrambles my nerves and I have to get the guy to repeat what he says twice in order to get it all. 

Clearly, they are trying to break me. 

I have no idea where that damned sound was coming from. I am guessing KFC’s phone system. Maybe it was trying to text me, I dunno. 

Anyhow, eventually I get the message and go down and get my food and my long national nightmare is finally over. 

But my nerves are shot and it’s been almost an hour since then now and my nerves still are jangling at me discordantly like someone is ringing all the bells in a full bell carillon all at once. 

It frigging sucks, is what I am saying. 

I imagine my nerves won’t fully recover until I have had a chance to lie down and maybe nap, and that points to a problem. 

I fear I have become emotionally (and neurologically) dependent on being able to escape life by taking a nap or at least zeroing out, and that’s going to be a problem if I ever want to get out of my little cage and deal with the world like a grownup. 

So ideally, I want to learn a better way to cope. 

But like I said yesterday, I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, namely doing my best to get well. 

So it’s something I would like to have, but in the same way someone with no legs wishes they could walk. 

Maybe one day it will be possible, maybe not. 

But either way, it would be nice. 

And I know this whole “no interruptions” thing poses some serious problems because, viewed loosely and broadly, absolutely everything is interrupting something and therefore I would be damned near impossible to deal with. 

The sad and shameful part is that a little part of me like the idea of being that hard to handle. 

I have some serious boundary setting issues. I must, if such extreme solutions appeal to me. Anything but having to set the boundaries myself, even it means social isolation. 

Without being able to set and maintain sensible boundaries in my personal life, I am left feeling very vulnerable almost all the time. It’s like not having an immune system. I lack the most basic of defenses against the chaotic influences of this turbulent world. 

The current solution, namely keeping myself safe by remaining isolated most of the time, is clearly deficient. It works but it costs far too much to be considered even remotely sufficient, or even efficient.

It’s not who I want to be. I want to be socially nimble and able to swim the waters of human relationships without fear. 

But for now, I have to stay on shore and learn by observation. 

The view is great but it is oh so cold. 

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.