Here’s a question that has perplexed me since I was a child : why is romantic love considered the one thing it is “safe” to write songs about?

Because like it says up there in the title, love isn’t safe. It is, in fact, one of the most dangerous things out there, at least emotionally.

Like the wise poet Gordon Sumner said,

Only love can heal
But love can break your heart

Sting, in the police song “message in a bottle”

What I am saying is that romantic love is powerful, unpredictable, and has the power to make or break your spirit in an instant.

And yet, we sing about it like it’s the most routine, boring thing ever.

I think the key here is that while love is dangerous, it’s also ubiquitous. Nearly every single human being will experience it in their life^[1].

And when you think of it, that’s pretty remarkable. It’s amazing that, despite all the fuss about our higher minds and their capacities for logic and reason, Mother Nature still ensures the continuation of the species by pairing nearly every human with another human and giving them the urge to make babies.

Sure, it starts off as just sex, but eventually, most heterosexual couples will want something more in their life, and will want to take the next step.

And the thing is, Mother Nature doesn’t give a shit whether you want to fall and love or not. Hence the comedy trope of young people insisting they will never get married, and yet, most of them will.

These instincts are so strong within us that they even pair us up when Mother Nature has also made us homosexual. Us homos are clearly not going to continue the species and yet., we pair up, build homes, make said homes cozy little nests, and get cats.

Or if you’re a lesbian, dogs.

And if you’re bisexual…. I dunno. Ferrets?

Anyhoo. Time to drag myself back to the goddamned topic.

Because romantic love and all the rest happen to nearly everyone, that means the subject is normal. And I think that is the key here. Nothing normal can be scary for most people, no matter what the actual threat level might be.

That’s why people who live in places with highly deadly flora and fauna that would scare the bejesus out of anyone from a safer place can be so totally calm about it.

“So you have to remember to check your shoes for scorpions or you’ll die. So what? It’s not that hard to do. ”

And don’t think this is limited to exotic places with telegenic threats. Right now, the United States is experiencing a brutal cold snap. My friend who lives in Minnesota told me they had temperatures as low as -27 C there this week, and that’s before figuring in the wind chill factor.

He also said there’s a lot of people from Somalia in his region, and a lot of people from the sub-India countries like Bangaladesh, and we were wondering what on Earth those poor people must be thinking of their new homeland.

Presumably, to them, this is a nightmare, and they must marvel at the aplomb of the native Minnesotans going about their business like this is a normal thing and not, say, freaking out because the air is trying to kill them.

In my own case, I come from the Maritime region of Canada, and that meants that in winter the snow eventually piles up to at least hip height and sometimes all the way up to shoulder height.

To me, that is perfectly normal. You wear sensible layers of clothing under your parka and get used to digging out the driveway every other day. No problem.

But to someone from here on the Wet Coast, where it hardly ever snows, it would seem like a new Ice Age had formed. And they would wonder at all us native Maritimers going about our lives like it’s no big deal.

Dammit, the topic escaped me again.

My point is that very dangerous things can seem safe when they are normal. Hence romantic love being a safe topic. You can sing all about how love ripped your soul into confetti and ruined your life and nobody even takes that as a serious warning.

It’s just a love song. Those things happen in love songs.

Myself, like I say in the footnote, I have not experienced the miracle of romantic love yet. In fact, when I was younger, I used to wonder if I was even capable of it.

After all, I had never felt romantically attracted to anyone.

But of course, that was when I was closeted, and had to clamp down on all such feelings lest they lead me into serious trouble.

Once I came out of that closet (thanks, the Internet!), it became abundantly clear that I was perfectly capable of it.

It’s just that my social isolation means I don’t ,meet new people, like,ever, and without that you stand little chance of finding your lifemate.

What socialization I do get, it’s through being Fruvous on Tapestries, and I learned how not to fall in love online a long time ago after getting burned many times by people who seemed as into me as I was into them right up until the point when they introduced me to their mate and said “I think you two would really get along!”.

Fuck that. I don’t share, okay? For me love means totally devoting myself to someone, and you can’t totally devote yourself to more than one person.

It’s logically impossible.

That said, there is a certain someone on Tapestries of whom I am growing quite fond, and there is an alarm going off in my head that says “Say something to him about it before he slips through your fingers like the others!”.

But it’s so hard to do. For all my eloquence, I have enormous difficulty when it comes to telling someone I am into them romantically. I am so afraid that will make them reject me and I will have lose what I have with them for no good reason.

And it’s so much easier to just let things continue as they are.

Not better. Just easier.

But I am going to have to do something soon. He’s not necessarily the easiest person to get along with – it’s no coincidence that his fursona is a porcupine. But I really like him and I think he’s fond of me.

That’s no surprise. I am easy to like. I’m the most popular puppy in the dog pound.

But nobody ever seems to want to take me home for keeps.

I will talk to you nice peopl again tomorrow.

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