Not totally sure what I mean by that, but the words popped into my mind while I was making supper and I instantly well in love with them, so I had to share them.

There’s also this :

Got that off Facebook and thought it would make a good comedy setup

Freya : Come lovers, and embrace my gift of sublime connection.
A : He didn’t reply to a text for three hours and when he did, all he said was “u up?”.
Freya : BURN HIS FIELDS.

Freya : Gentle creatures, enjoy love’s feast, and be joyful.
B : She “tidied up” my records and threw out over $5000 worth of prime vinyl.
Freya : CRUSH HER ARMIES.

Freya : Erotic pleasure is my greatest gift to you. Rejoice in it.
C: The couple I am a “unicorn” for moved to Europe without leaving a forwarding address and they owe me over $9000.
Freya : Forgive them, for they are fools in love.
C : Oh. That’s okay, I guess.
Freya : Then SLAUGHTER THEIR KIN.

Unicorn = Bisexual willing to have sex with a het couple

Or I suppose I could go the other way :

D : My ex firebombed my office and is now in a tense standoff with twenty armed cops right outside my apartment building!
Freya : Aww, he must really love you.

Ick. On second thought, maybe not.

In other words,. I am feeling semi-good today. Dunno why, and don’t particularly care either. Better to enjoy it while it lasts than to kill it via analysis.

Repeat until believed.

Tried a game I got via a bundle I bought off Fanatical. That’s how I end up with a lot of odd games these days. I buy the bundle for the one thing and end up with anywhere from 2 to 8 other games I never would have bought seperately.

And I like that. I am a person with serious issues when it comes to stepping out of my comfort zone. I remember the agonies of indecision I went through when I was a kid and had read all the Asimov and Bradbury and I was faced with a science fiction shelf full of authors I had never heard of and knew nothing about.

So it’s good that I am ending up with games I would never get otherwise. It makes it effortless (almost) for me to try something new.

Today, I tried S.T.A.L.K.E.R. : Clear Sky, and I can’t say I cared for it.

It just did not tell me enough, which I find oddly apropos for a game set in the Soviet Union of the 80’s.

Russians undercommunicating. Do tell.

The very first mission, the game tells casually me to “not go forward unless I throw a bolt in front of me. ”

And I am like, what the fuck does THAT mean? What bolts? Where? Bolts of what? Which button does that? WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

And here’s the thing : nowhere in the game itself does it tell you. I had to quit the game and Google it.

And to me, that is a major, major fail.

Then the game gives me objectives – which I love – but no good way to find them – which sucks. There is a map and a compass, but the map turns when you do and is therefore useless as a way to find absolute direction.

And I hate that in games. Does my head in completely. I am sure that actually makes it easier for them. But I ain’t one of them.

So that’s Strike Two. And it’s a big one, because the game immediately sets up a situation where if I don’t find the first objective fast enough, the friendly soldiers there start screaming things like “Where are you? We’re getting slaughtered here!”.

So, ya know. No pressure.

By that point. all that was keeping me playing the damned thing was that the story,. setting, and style interested me. Oh, and sheer bloodymindedness.

Mostly the latter,.to be honest. It was like the game was trying to get rid of me and I was determined not to let it.

Crazy, yes. But potentially useful. Stick a pin in that, we will come back to it some day.

If only I could be that way about, say, getting published, or getting an agent.

Anyhow, Strike Three was when I kept dying with apparently no cause. Turns out I had radiation sickness. But the game never told me that. I just died.

Fuck THAT noise. So I uninstalled it, and tried another random bundle acquisition, a game called Sniper : Art of Victory.

I have two more games in the series on Steam but not the latest one.

And despite the terrible, terrible reviews of the game (a 36 on Metacritic) , I am enjoying it. I have always enjoyed being the sniper in games despite my utter lack of natural ability in the area, and this game makes being a sniper easy enough for me without making it a total softball.

Due to said lack of natural talent, I die a lot. Like I have said before, the fundamental problem with me and stealth/sniping is my lack of environmental awareness.

I just don’t take in enough my my environment – even in video games – to do the sort of predicting and planning and precision needed for that kind of thing.

It’s like I have the heart of a sniper but a skillset more in tune with kicking the door down and blasting every motherfucker in the room.

Le sigh. Oh well, I have enough motivation to keep trying despite constant failure, and that’s more important than natural ability.

One thing that pisses me off about the game is that you can’t possibly get the drop on the enemy because the enemy is the computer and therefore the enemy soldiers have reflexes that are infinitely fast.

Well, maybe not infinitely. But way faster than the 0.08 seconds that it takes nerve impulses to make it to the brain, anyhow.

Oh well, it’s still a lot of fun. You can save any time you want, which takes a lot of the sting out of dying a lot.

I just save the game every time I successfully snipe.

Anyhow, that’s the latest and greatest from the world of the thing that occupies the slot where my life should be.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.