Shaggy old grey dog of mixed heritage. Friendly, intelligent, and affectionate. Maybe a bit over the hill but still has plenty of the puppy left in him. Great with kids – they adore him and he loves them. Makes excellent companion as he is loyal. friendly, affectionate, and highly adaptable to whatever your routine might be. The product of a home where he was chained up and neglected for a very long time, it has taken him a while to recover from that experience, but now he’s eager to be your family’s best friend, your kids’ loyal and gentle nanny, and everybody’s fuzzy old cuddle buddy. Do you and your family a favour and take this lovable old mutt home today.
SPOILER ALERT : The dog is me.
Patient readers will recognize that old metaphor of me as a friendly but severely neglected dog who was loved when he was a cute puppy but then he became a grown up down and everyone stopped paying attention to him and pointedly ignored him except when they very grugingly and reluctant give him the bare minimum of care.
It really fits me and how I feel about my life. Except I suppose I should add a bit where the family never planned to get the dog in the first place but got stuck with him.
Doesn’t really fit into the whole classified ad thing though.
I picture it (me) as a great big shaggy mutt like those dogs with the hair that looks like it covers their eyes.
Shepherd something? Something shepherd?
And the truth is that the old pooch can be a chore to be around sometimes. He’s clumsy and doesn’t always watch where that ever-wagging fluffy tail of his is going. And well, sometimes the dog smell gets pretty bad. His previous owners didn’t take care of him very well, so he has a lot of health issues.
And he needs a lot of affection, and will do his best to charm it out of you with his silly antics and numerous tricks. This is wonderful at first but after a while it can get rather tiring, and you might wish for a dog who isn’t “on” all the time.
Don’t worry though. As long as you are gentle about it and don’t make it seem like a rejection, he will happily tone it down when asked.
He doesn’t mean to get on your nerves. He just wants to show you how much he loves you…;. all the time.
The truth is, he’s high maintainance. But totally worth it. You just have to take one look into those sparkling, soulful eyes and see that warm, waggy doggy grin, and you will forget all the little accidents and annoyances and fall in love with this big fluffy doggo and wonder how anyone could neglect and ignore this warm, wonderful, waggy, wacky, and totes adorbs dog for even a minute.
Are you ready to take him in and give him his forever home?
And the thing is, I am so damned lonely and sad that I really would give myself to the first person who gave me pets and cuddles and a nice place to live.
I know that this is, according to all dogma (ha!), bad. Dating advice says to never date out of desperation, to set your boundaries firmly. to make sure you know who you are and what you want out of life and what you will and will not do before you go out there and look for the lover you want, but don’t need.
Well saying that shit to me as I am right now would be the equivalent of telling a drowning man not to be so eager to be rescued by the first lifeguard that comes along because it’s okay to have standards and to be honest, you shouldn’t be so needy.
Most people (thankfully) do not have my kind of emotional problems and have no idea what it’s like to be 46 and alone having never been in a relationship in my life and only at this point in my life being able to even realize how pent up and lonely I am and how badly I want both sex and love.
Most people listen to their instincts and do what their emotions tell them to do at least some of the time, and those guide them towards that will fulfill their emotional needs, just the way hunger leads us to eat.
But my chilly ass has gone so far off the deep end into the icy embrace of intellectualism that I have ignored nearly everything my emotions have told me for a very long time.
I sometimes wonder if that is the price I pay for my hyperintelligence.
Recovery, therefore, requires that i dig these buried emotions up, wipre the dirt on them, and do my best to accept them, listen to them, and possibly even do what they say.
That’s the hard bit. Doing things.
It always comes back to that.
Wrote this earlier :
Skit idea : Open on a super tough guy bar. Super tough looking guy walks in. The patrons of the bar look up at him a moment, then go back to what they were doing. Our protagonist walks to the middle of the room, glares around at the other toughies in the bar, then in an uber butch voice says “Does anyone here have a Paxil? I take it for my… social anxiety. ” Idly strokes the handle of his gun while he says “Seems I get real nervous about people I don’t know. ” A short silence, then another super tough guy says “Would a Zoloft do? I take them for when I feel all…. sad and vulnerable.” Other tough guys grunt in sympathy.
And so forth and so on. I know I came up with more in the car with Felicity last night but it’s slipped my mind.
I think it could be freaking hilarious.
Yup. Proud of that one.
All in all, it’s been a creative day. I have been feeling very bright and creative lately and I am loving it. Ideas come to me so easily, and in such detail.
Now all I need is an audience!
It always comes back to that.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.