Probably unnecessary warning : what I am about to talk about might end up seeming like I am criticizing some people by implication. That’s not my intention, and I am not looking to hurt anyone, so if I offend you, know it is not intended and I am very sorry.
Alright, with that act of neurosis complete, let’s talk about attitude, karma, and how what we get back from others is often that which we are putting out without knowing it.
I just got back from my weekly bandage change. The good news is that the wound has almost completely closed and once it does it will only be two weeks after that before I can stop wearing the goddamned bandage and be able to take normal showers again.
Sponge baths suck!
In the process of getting said errand done, I had to ask the receptionist at the health clinic to call me a cab. She seemed all too happy to do so.
When I asked her, she said “Of course!” and then told me she’d take care of it and that I could just go wait at the back door.
I smiled and thanked her then went to wait.
As I was waiting, I got to thinking about the interaction I had just had with the receptionist. For me, that was a normal, pleasant interaction.
But it struck me that other people have a very different experience of the world, and I wondered why. The only answer I could think of was “attitude”, or maybe “vibe”.
I am a pleasant, polite person. That’s what I put out into the world. It’s both who I am and how I choose to be, and I take a fair bit of pride in it.
And that’s what I get back from the world, for the most part. I am pleasant and considerate and understanding, and so are the people I interact with. The fact that my interactions are pleasant helps keep me pleasant.
Someone else might not know they are putting out a harsh or difficult vibe, and find people are being harsh or difficult with them. This naturally puts them in a bad mood, and the cycle continues.
What makes it worse is that most people have a hard time seeing their own part in how others react to them,
The fact is that because people don’t want to take the “blame” for their problems, and so they cast themselves as innocent victims of the malfeasance of others and end up continuing negative patterns rather than focusing on the one part of it they can control, which is their own reactions.
So my advice, I suppose, is that you try to learn to put out a positive vibe.
If you can do so, either the people in your life will respond in kind or you can at least take comfort in knowing you are not the problem and, of course, enjoy the resulting feeling of smug moral superiority.
More after the break.
Wow, the previous section is exactly 500 words.
Wish I could say I did it on purpose.
Wait, no I don’t. That would be sad.
Anyhow, where was I? Oh right, attitude, your experience of life, karma, etc.
The theoretical underpinnings of my thoughts on this matterbegan when I first tried to figure out why, despite many years in customer service, I had no “asshole customer” stories to share.
One factor : all my service was in a small town in the Maritimes, and maybe people are a lot calmer in a sleepy little town than the big city.
Not as much population pressure.
But surely my home town had its fair share of cranky fussy demanding people, surly drunks, and raging arseholes, and yet I never seemed to encounter them.
The only logical explanation was that the missing factor was me. People who might well be difficult around others were less so around me, and whatever surliness they had left just rolled off my back due to my gentle and resilient nature.
It helps that I lack much of a competitive spirit, especially in terms of social competition. I am fairly blind to social competition, and it means that I have no problem letting the other person have the upper hand.
Odds are, I won’t even notice.
I have my own way of operating, and it does not require anyone to defer to me or treat me like I am special or anything.
Honestly, most of the time I am just happy to help.
And that’s another factor in my different customer service experience. My life has been such that I have not felt helpful, useful, or competent a lot.
I’m brilliant but also a spaz.
So when I was working customer service, I was one happy camper, because to me the job was a series of people who needed things from me that I was perfectly capable of doing for them, and that made me feel competent and needed and all the other good things I had not had a lot of in my life.
I can honestly say I loved doing customer service.
Isn’t that weird?
Honestly, I should look into getting some kind of customer service job just to pay the bills in my current life. Turnover is massive in customer service. Surely somewhere out there is desperate enough to hire someone who hasn’t worked in 25 years.
Preferably somewhere small. I would make a poor corporate drone. I would be much happier at a small business where I can have a personal connection with my bosses.
But I suppose working in a 7-11 or the like would do. Mainly, I don’t want to be a tiny cog in a huge big box type store.
Plus I can’t stay on my feet for any extended period of time, which is a problem in some highly unenlightened workplaces.
But whatever. It’s just a thought. No rush, and no reason to hold back either.
It would be a good way to get out of the doldrums and get my life started.
All I have to do is pull the trigger.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.