I was just listening to this podcast about testosterone and I have not gotten that far into it yet, so I may be jumping the gun here, but it has me intrigued.
In the podcast, they talk to a man whose body, due to a medical issue, simply stopped producing testosterone for four months.
So he got to experience what life sans testosterone was like, and as it turns out, it’s a lot like being depressed. He had no motivation, no desires, no passions. He would sit for hours doing absolutely nothing.
It turns out that testosterone is the hormone of all desires, not just the sexual ones, and without it you simply stop wanting things.
And that got me thinking about my own issues and my own frailties and wondering if maybe this mysterious psychological substance I am missing, the one whose absence makes it so hard for me to make decisions, might well be testosterone.
And ditto for a lot of the things I feel I like. Like when I talk about a lack of “life force” or “vitality” or “strength”. And how I feel so cold and lonely and depressed. Could it be that testosterone would cure some or all of my ills?
It seems too simplistic. But it could still be true.
And it would certainly be ironic if it turned out that you could replace all the antidepressants in the world with just enough testosterone to get the patient to a normal level for their gender.
Again, that’s probably far too simplistic, but it’s an amusing thought.
Unfortunately, this is not the sort of thing one can test on their own. I can’t just pick up a big ol bottle of testosterone supplements at Shopper’s Drug Mart like I could do with melotonin or whatnot.
And that’s probably a good thing, overall.
Certain activities promote the production of testosterone. The problem is that those sorts of aggressive, active activities are the exact same activities that having low testosterone makes you want to avoid.
It may be that there is a low testosterone personality type. I know that in my case, while I definitely want to come in out of the cold and feel alive and warm and happy, the idea of pumping up my testosterone levels makes me very nervous.
I know I have a veritable ocean of unexpressed rage inside me and I would be afraid that a rise in testosterone levels would unleash it all in an uncontrolled and uncontrollable fashion, and turn me into at best an asshole and at worst some kind of Incredible Hulk type rage machine.
I Googled testosterone and depression and got this here article.
Seems like the research is all over the map on this. Studies produce contradictory results, the issue is the subject of quite lively debate, more trials are needed.
Unfortunately, that’s par for the course when studying mood. There are just too damned many factors that go into mood, plus of course you have the problem that everything relating to mood is self-reported.
Still, it seems like testosterone might be a mood enhancer for some men. And not just THAT mood, either.
I will think about this while I go make Sims fuck each other.
Still working on the Sims sex thing. I hope I get it working soon because my lord, is that game staggeringly dull without sex.
See, I happened upon this webcomic that detailed the orgiastic delights possible in Sims 4 when you use the Wicked Whims mod to allow for simfucking.
And I was… intrigued.
So I looked up Sims 4, and found out it could be mine for only $13. So I figured, what the heck. And then I found out I could get it for even less, around $7.50, on the Origin app, and that officially sealed the deal.
So I downloaded it and installed it, and I know it at least partially worked because my Sims can definitely prance about naked now, but I haven’t figured out how to actually tell them to boink one another yet.
I want my own perverted terrarium, dammit!
The problem might be that I used a mod manager, namely Vortex by Nexus, to install the mod and Vortex does not always get the job done.
Or maybe I need to activate it somewhere. Or maybe it’s something intuitively obvious to veteran Sims players but not for male-brained folks like me.
I am sure I will figure it out eventually.
I have always found the prospect of perverted fun highly motivating.
My other holiday purchase, Red Dead Redemption 2, is currently on life support. I am probably going to return it.
It’s a great game, but apparently a terrible port. The PC version of the game (it originally came out on consoles a year ago) is notoriously bad in terms of being very hard on your PC’s resources and even people with much higher end PCs than mine are finding that the game runs extremely poorly on their machines.
As for lil ol me, I had to turn every single video option down to its lowest possible setting AND run it at minimum resolution just to get it to run without freezing every five seconds, sometimes far more often.
And it STILL freezes now and then.
So, back in the virtual box it goes, methinks. The gameplay I have managed to coax out of it makes it seem like a fairly interesting game, but my machine just can’t do it.
Dunno what I will get when the money is refunded. Assuming I can get it refunded. The cutoff is two hours of gameplay and I have technically played for 3.
But I am pretty sure that, given the game’s history of terrible implementation, they will be willing to give me my money back.
Then I can get both my money and 110 gigs of my hard drive space back, and get something I can enjoy playing.
And until then, I have perverted Sims to play with.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.