Woke up from some pretty brutal oxygen deprived sleep around half an hour ago and I have still not recovered enough to be counted amongst the living.
It is 9:21 am, and I am blogging now because I dunno what else to do in order to stay awake long enough to eat and take my pills.
I sure as fuck ain’t taking my sleeping pill, though. Seeing as sleep just tried to fucking murder me in cold blood.
Probably will go back to sleep when I am done here though.
i don’t want to give sleep another chance so soon, but I have little choice. Eventually the Diet Coke I am drinking will wear off and then it’s back to the somnolent ward.
Like a child, I will dawdle and avoid sleep, but like a child,despite my claim of not being sleepy, I will nod off anyhow.
Suppose I should be in bed when that happens.
I really feel like black smoke is coming out of my ears like in a cartoon.
Hopefully, the caffeine in the Diet Coke will ;level me out enough to get some decent healthy sleep now. Because I sure as fuck need it.
I mean, sleep like I just had is exhausting. I need a nap just to recover.
Alright. Breakfast is eaten. Have blogged a bit.
Time to go back to fucking sleep.
It’s now 2:20 pm and I have slept a bunch more,. and I must say I feel a whole heck of a lot batter than I did five hours ago.
But I still haven’t fully recovered. There is still a layer of numb sleepiness in the back of my mind, lurking there, telling me sleep is not done with me yet.
Whatever. So I play less Skyrim because I am asleep. No great loss.
Tell that to my addiction that is currently whimpering in the corner from the loss.
Things are slowly developing on Unnamed Animation Project. I was asked for and delivered a document about where I saw the show going. So that’s cool.
Still have no idea what my actual chance is of landing a gig. Don’t know how the meeting with the Pro With The Impressive Resume went.
Is it wrong that I kind of hope it went really, really badly? Like this person turned out to be a raging prima donna who rubbed both producers the wrong way from the start and was such an unmitigated prick/bitch they ragequit the Zoom?
Seems harmless enough. After all,. my hoping it has no effect on whether it’s true or not and it sure makes me feel a heck of a lot less intimidated.
I am pondering offering to work under this person or collab with them or whatever, but I am afraid to seem pathetically eager.
I think I already crossed that line when I offered to do all the dev work for the show for free. E seemed embarrassed by the offer and said he’ll be sure to pay me something.
So I guess I will get some $ out of all this even if I don’t get the gig.
I wish I had known what to say when asked about compensation. Instead, I sort of threw myself on the mercy of the court, which was also a bad move.
i have to remember that if I want people to hire me, I need to restrain my usual eagerness to be liked and work more on being respected.
It’s a fine line between being a fun, funny, lovable fellow and coming across more like an overexcitable Corgi who might hump your leg or wet itself at any moment.
Words to live by.
Well that sucked
I was fine – or at least good – until I got out of the car.
Today is Sunday and now that the air is no longer broken, i was able to go do my shopping at Sav-On Ironwood before meeting up with Felicity for McD’s.
I had been feeling pretty iffy all day, ever since that bout of bad sleep this morning (see above), and as late as 6:30 pm I was not sure I would make it because I was feeling nauseous and dizzy and slow.
But that cleared up, more or less, so by the time 7:15 pm rolled around and it was time to go, I felt good enough to go for it.
After all, missing my Sunday shopping can really fuck with my week and because of the bullshit with my card, I can’t do what I would normally do and buy my groceries online.
In fact, I won’t be buying jack shit online until I get a new card. Grr.
And I thought I was doing okay as we drove there. I wasn’t feeling fabulous by any stretch of the imagination but the agony was manageable.
But then when we arrived at Sav-on and I got out of the car, the whole fucking world went sideways and I was incredibly dizzy.
The world was a whirling carousel around me and I had this horrifying rushing water feeling through my body and I felt like I was going to faint and/or puke.
Presumably, blood had pooled in my legs and when I stood up too fast, it had to go back to where it belonged in a hurry.
That’s never fun.
Eventually, the world settled down enough that I could make my way into the store. But I was still fairly dizzy, as evidenced by the fact that after putting something back on a shelf ,I got so dizzy that I ended up staggering backwards and using some poor random woman’s back as a balance point to keep myself from careening head first into the shelves on the opposite side.
In case it’s unclear, I never put any weight on her.
And she was fine with it and worried more about me. Which is nice.
But now I am worried about me too.
Especially considering that I stayed pretty dizzy all through the rest of my shopping and felt so bad before getting back in the car that I considered not getting anything at McD’s at all, and only the knowledge that skipping a meal when I felt like that would be a VERY BAD IDEA kept me from making that mistake.
Now I am home and in front of my computer and I still don’t feel right. I am still nauseous and dizzy and scared.
My current theory is that I am dehydrated and need to drink a lot of water plus maybe eat something salty in order to recover.
But it could be something far worse. Something cardiovascular. Or intracranial.
so i better get my act together and get some medical attention. This kind of thing can’t keep happening. This is not normal.
I keep worrying that I will end up like my Grandma, my father’s mother, and develop terrible vertigo as I get older.
Like I need another excuse not to move.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.