The fire is only scary if you are afraid to burn.
Me, I’m ready. Feed me to the flames. Burn my flesh clean. Let all the garbage in my soul go up in smoke. Let the flames drive out all impurity and scourge me of all my accumulated toxins like a sudden fever.
Purify my essence so that I might walk tall and free again. Purge me of my accumulated residue and drive my demons screaming into the night with the purity of my loathing for them. Let me vomit out of every pore and orifice until all my hate and fear and rage and contempt and venomous resentment is gone and I can finally be who I really am.
I am not my illness.
i am not my pain.
I am not my inabilities.
I am not my lack of progress.
And I am not my chains.
I am a magnificent golden spirit. strong and proud and beautiful, and decades of imprisonment cannot change that.
I am a deep and powerful wizard, with abilities never seen by anyone before. No term of isolation in my windswept keep can alter that truth.
I am a merry trickster who loves to entertain and delight all with his illusions, tricks, jokes, and charms. And no amount of time between gigs can erase that fact.
In short, I am fucking amazing.
And all the small and petty bullshit in the world can’t hold me back any longer.
Why hello world…. glad to finally meet you.
Now let’s get it ON.
I suppose that’s sort of a poem. Or at least, it would be if I threw in a bunch more line breaks. And maybe a bit of fancy wordplay.
It is what it is. Like I give a shit.
I like how I started from a negative space then ended with an ego trip. That is more or less the path I am learning to tread. Take the negatives and use them as the raw fuel to boost up to a more positive place.
And if that means nudging the edge of mania, so be it. I am building a whole new me here. There is bound to be some risks.
And to be honest, I’d rather be super crazy and happy than depressed and miserable.
At this point, a descent into cackling megalomania sounds rather refreshing.
I’m sure I would return to sanity eventually. If there was something in it for me. A scholarship, perhaps. Or snacks.
Gotta have my snacks.
Feeling sort of bored and diffident at the moment. And a little restless. And kind of horny.
Basically, I feel like I really want something, but can’t think of what it is. Nothing I can think of appeals to me.
Well, nothing I am actually allowed to have, anyhow. Sucks to know you will never have the things you really want because society mindlessly oppresses people like you.
But the walls are beginning to crumble. Maybe Gen Z will take up the cause of my people like the Millennials did with gay marriage.
Probably not. But a man can dream.
More after the break.
Our southern neighbors
I think I speak for all Canadians, and indeed the entire modern democratic world. when I speak from the heart and say :
America, you drive us freaking crazy.
Because we love you. Never doubt that. Don’t take our bitching and complaining and rolling our eyes over you to mean we don’t love you and don’t care about you.
In fact, if we didn’t care, the things you do to yourself wouldn’t bother us so much.
But we like you, so they do. You’re brave and strong and generous and passionate and have great big hearts that make you a joy to be around.
When you’re sober. But you ain’t always sober.
And the truth is, America, that you’re a mean drunk. You get a skinful of false patriotism and stirring music and bold statements that make no sense and you get awfully high on yourself and then you get real self-destructive.
You start listening to all the worst voices in your head and start siding with the yahoos and hillbillies who want to tear down everything America stands for and destroy the country they say they love just because they are too dumb and barbaric to actually understand how anything works.
And all we the people of Not America can do is stand on the sidelines and watch you trash your own country and hurt your own people, and cry for you.
We can offer our advice – but we know you won’t listen. It’s not in your nature. You are too individualistic for that.
We can offer you our own example as you struggle with problems we solved a long time ago. But you are too proud to listen to that either.
We can even step in and help you clean up your own mess sometimes. As long we we do it quietly and draw no attention to ourselves.
We’re not fixing it FOR you, we’re just helping YOU fix it!
But mostly all we can do is watch, and cry, and shake our heads as we wait for you to sober up again.
Which brings us to today. It’s February of 2021 and about a month ago you finally sobered up after the worst bender you’ve ever gone on.
We Not Americans watched in horror as the ultimate drunk and abusive father did his best to run the country into the ground, and the only reason he didn’t succeed is that the American people stood up to him and pushed back when it really counted.
I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but now that you’ve sobered up, we all have great hopes for you. This is your chance to finally catch up with the rest of the world and finally give the American people the standard of living they deserve.
You can do this, America. We believe in you. It will mean some pretty big changes, but we know you’re not afraid of big challenges and hard work.
Make America great again, people. Make it strong and gentle and kind again.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.