Exciting news! I have an appointment to adjust my eyewear prescription post cataract surgery on July 23 at 11:30 am!
Ok, so it’s not that exciting.
Mostly I am worried that I will completely forget all about it. Historically, I have not done well in remembering appointments more than a month away from when I receive them.
I will have to remember to write it down on my physical calendar. The one I got for Xmas which features pictures of foxes.
I heart that calendar, obviously. Such a thoughtful gift from Joe and Julian. This month’s picture is of two fluffy baby foxes. Awwwww.
I just want to scoop them up and cuddle them and scritch their fuzzy heads.
Of course, they would probably try to eat my face in self defense.
But I’d forgive them.
I am looking forward to this future adjustment in my prescription, even though I assume it will mean I have to pay for new lenses.
Because quite honestly, I miss my glasses.
Not just because they were a 43 year habit until like last week, although that’s a factor too. I’m past the honeymoon phase of a change of habit where it’s all new and therefore somewhat challenging and fun, and well into the part that is just a drag as the old habit keep trying to assert itself and being denied.
Old Habit : Do it!
Me, trying to change : No.
OH : Do it!
Me, getting annoyed : NO.
OH : Do it!
Me : NO GOD DAMN IT!
It will give up eventually, right?
But no, the main reason I miss my glasses is that I miss being able to see properly, dammit. Until recently, I had workable vision. Not the best, but I got by.
Then I got the first surgery. That messed up my left eye. But my right eye was still normal, so it had minimal impact.
Then I got my right eye done and now life is very squinty. It’s not so bad when I am at the computer but reading from a book is very difficult.
When did the words get so damned small?
I have to be super careful about the lighting to even stand a chance. And that really sucks because I love reading. I’ve loved it since the moment I became literate.
I might even pick up one of those cheap pairs of reading glasses to see me through this difficult period. Though not without a certain sense of irony.
Oh well, it’s just a transition period. I will get through it.
One small worry : my right eye is already way clearer than the left. And the left was operated on like two months ago.
So I am once more worried that my fuckup with stopping the drops way too early on the left eye permanently damaged it.
If it doesn’t get better soon, I will call Doctor Vaezi’s office and ask about coming in for that anti-swelling shot.
Hopefully that is all it will take to get my left eye to catch up to my right and give me a nice matching set of crystal clear eyeballs.
Normal vision, imagine that!
More after the break.
All I got to do…
.. is sleeeeeeeeep. Sleep sleep sleep sleep sleeeeeeep.
To the tune of :
Right now, I am super sleepy and would much rather be sleeping than blogging. But seeing as it’s already 10:12 PM, it’s not like I have a lot of time to catch a nap before Zooming with Le Gang and sleeping while still getting my blogging done, so blog I must.
The nap will have to wait till I get my words done.
Been pondering developing a persona (on YouTube or wherever) as Good Old Uncle Snarky, who is here to bring the Gen X gifts of sarcasm, bitterness, and cynicism to all the other generations.
The idea would be that I would explain things to younger generations in a way both gentle and brutally honest. I see young people struggling with questions for which I have the true, simple, and deeply cynical answer, and it makes me want to help.
Not that I am some petty sadist who likes to burst people’s bubbles because he hates the sight of anyone being happy or anything. If anything, I resent the fact that I so often have to be the bearer of bad news to people when I see them heading over the side of a cliff that only the short sharp shock can save them from.
I am perfectly happy leaving people to their chosen delusions. Whatever it is you have to do to counteract the deadly and toxic influence of reality is fine by me, as long as it isn’t hurting anybody or putting you in danger of serious hurt.
Hence, I only intervene when I am sure that doing so will hurt a lot less than what will happen if I stay silent.
In a way, I kind of consider such interventions to be the job of us edge of the herd types. We gaze into the darkness in search of the dangers and horrors that lie in wait for the innocently oblivious masses and do our best to steer the herd away from them.
We are the Dark Guardians. We protect not just the safety of the masses but its innocence too. We dwell in darkness so they don’t have to. We hunt the evils too dark for the daylight dwellers to even know about.
And it is our job to choose when it is time to abrogate some of that innocence in order to protect it in the long run.
This is how one uses one’s dark soul for good. I dwell in darkness and shy away from the light, at least for now, and it would be easy to conclude that this means I have to be either unknown or evil.
Popular culture doesn’t have a lot of dark heroes. Batman is only one guy.
But for the stubbornly dedicated to the greater good like me, there is a path – the path of the Dark Guardian.
In the real world, it might make one a night watchman, a forensic scientist, a therapist for the criminally insane, a homicide detective, or even a bounty hunter.
But someone has to stay on the border of twilight and keep the dark things out and the good things in.
Might as well be us.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.