Here we are again in Foobtown, population the square root of negative one raised to the power of KABLAMMO, so it must be Sunday. Wow, these all inclusive package tours really get you turned around, huh? when I woke up earlier, I thought it was Sunday!
But, you know, a different one.
In France. During the Revolution. Or possible the Resistance. I don’t know, people were very French, very angry, and there was a lot of pastry.
Got plenty of low-calorie high-fibre fun stuff to share with you this week, so with exactly three words more of ado, let’s get started!
Let’s start with something that’s always reliable for happy foobtacular vibes : gunplay!
I love these guys. Not only did they do a completely insane and awesome thing in order to demonstrate their bulletproof (er, I mean bullet-resistant) glass, they did it with style and fun and a hell of a lot of cameras.
Because face it, if you are going to get your employee to shoot at you three times with a gen you wine AK-47, Kalishnakov’s pride and joy, you do not want to have to do more than one take to get your angles.
Very nicely done, too, mister I got to shoot at my boss. Boom, boom, boom. Neat as you please. I’d invite you to my old fashioned country drive-by any day.
After all that excitement, we need something a little more relaxing to take the edge off.
And what could be more relaxing than a nap with an adorable puppy who know how to get the most out of air conditioning at his place.
Awww. Just look at them floppy ears floating delicately in the breeze! Amazing that he can sleep with his ear flapping around like that, but I know just what it is like when you finally find a cool spot on a hot day, and the relief alone can make you melt into a puddle of utter bliss.
And from there to a nap is really no distance at all.
In fact, there’s only one thing cuter than a cute animal asleep.
Great, now I need a nap
That’s when the whole touring cast of The Incredible Journey does it.
I think the hardest part of getting that photo must have been resisting the urge to go “Awwwwwwwww!” really loud until after you snap the picture.
Of course, one can take the whole pet photography thing just a little too far.
Great, another bitch who thinks she's a princess
I am not normally a person to cast aspersions on anyone’s chosen lifestyle. I figure if everyone is happy and feels good about themselves, then god(s) bless you, go at whatever it is you need to do with a will and a whip.
But I think it is safe to say that if you have gotten to the point where you are dressing up like you are a Southern belle from some bizarre alternative universe where dogs rule the Earth, what you are doing can no longer be considered a “hobby”.
It’s a lifestyle, and you had better face up to the fact before the investigation.
Back to video, with this magnificent example of the Day Job Orchestra’s brilliantly random and completely irreverent redubbing of famous movies, in this case, Star Wars.
(Which one? The one called Star Wars, dammit!)
Major LOLs on the home front here. It’s the combination of the extremely silly attitude and the precision of the lip-syncing that really makes it work… a great example of how truly brilliant comedy is a combination of lunacy and engineering.
I am not sure why, but it was the Jawa that really made me lose it. Maybe it was just the straw that broke the comedy dam’s back, I don’t know.
I know that as a kid, I was terribly disappointed when I found out the Jawas were just some sort of rat-creature under those hoods. I am not sure what I thought was under there before then, but it was definitely something more bizarre and exotic than rats.
Something with glowy eyes on stalks, or something.
Finally, I share with you, my beloved people, one of my favorite bits of irony in image form I have ever seen.
Quick, honey, I just had the most hilarious idea!
I would explain the joke, but I prefer to leave that as an exercise for the student. Consider it to be an irony test. If you laugh, you pass.
That’s all for this week, folks! Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed doing it to you, and I mean that sincerely.
I would like to see Jack Kirby’s drawing of Fin Fang Fooble. I bet it would be a majestic Kirby monster, but also cute.
Oddly the DJO Star Wars video was just a black rectangle with no controls until I opened this article up in its own tab to comment. Seeing those little kangaroos and dinosaurs and shit made me realize that god damn, I really fucking hate the Special Edition. It’s been so long since I had to even look at it that I’d forgotten how awful it is.
There are two possible interpretations of the leaning tower photo.
1. At any given landmark, there’s a steady stream of people all having the same idea of posing for a trick photo where it looks like they have superpowers or are giants; therefore, if you took a photo of that area, at any given moment there’d be half a dozen people doing that. To your camera they’d be in the wrong place because they’re all posing for the cameras of the people they came there with.
2. They’re gesturing as if they were posing for a trick photo, but in a dadaist reversal of expectations, they’re in the wrong places.
I can’t decide which one I prefer. The first one is too snarky, but the second one is too pretentious.
Oh, right, the dog. In the thumbnail it looked like someone had dressed their dog up like that, and I was assuming the flow of statements would go from “I am not normally a person to cast aspersions on anyone’s chosen lifestyle…” to “…but don’t dress up your dogs in costumes!”
So kudos to the person in the photo for the realism of their costume. In a tiny thumbnail it looks like a dressed-up dog standing on its hind legs!
Now that I think about it, Scooby Doo had a cousin who was a non-anthropomorphic dog who talked and dressed like a southern belle. Her name was Scooby Dee and she was a movie star. No one seemed to find it odd that her leading man and presumable love interest was a human. And in a universe where no-one finds it odd that there’s a sentient, talking dog with occasional shape-shifting abilities, either, the fact that that still stood out to me says something.
I just remembered something weirder still. Not only did Scooby Doo have a cousin who was also a talking dog who was also a southern belle, but some criminals managed to find a completely different female talking dog to impersonate Scooby Dee while they kidnapped the real one. Also, artificial ghosts were involved.
Finally, the Google spam that intruded on the video of the sleeping dog was “Are you a Canadian breeder?” I choose to believe someone is breeding Canadians.
The added Special Edition stuff doesn’t bother me except when it seems intrusive, which is… most of it, really.
I prefer the first interpretation of the Pisa picture. I am comfortable with mocking people for all thinking they have this brilliant idea at the same time. Like that bit about people coming to Halloween dressed as a bottle of aspirin that Douglas Coupland wrote about.
I thought it was a dressed-up dog at first, too. And then I thought it was maybe a dressed up dead stuffed dog, eww. But I eventually figured out it was a person in a costume.
And yup, there was some messed up stuff in Scooby Doo. I really do wonder what writers of cartoons were smoking sometimes.
Not the good stuff, I’d like to think.
And LOL. Yes, they breed Canadians. I, myself, am a pedigreed Islander/Ontarian mix, with high conformity but poor behaviour profile. 😛