I’ve been training my whole life for this : I have to take it easy and be lazy or I will have a fucking heart attack and die.
Ironically, it’s that “training” that led to this situation in the first place.
Yes, the irony is rife in this situation, and comes in many forms.
For example, I had just started getting back into exercising regularly for the first time in forever when the angiogram results shut that shit right now.
I was trying so hard to get my blood sugar down.
Speaking of which, went to the pharmacy to buy a new sensor for my FreeStyle Libre glucometer today. You have to buy a new sensor every 2 weeks for reasons that are complete and utter bullshit and just an excuse to jack your insurance plan for $100 every couple of weeks.
That’s right. The little fuckers cost $100. And they only stop working every two weeks because their software tells them too. Grr.
However, I did not end up buying one. But the reason why is awesome.
See, it turns out that my glucometer, the FreeStyle Libre, has a competitor, the Dexcom G6, which it turns out IS covered by my BC Disability medical plan and will therefore cost me not a god damn thing.
There’ll be a wait, though. Which sucks. First I need my endocrinologist, Doctor Caswell, to fill out a form and send it in, which will happen when I see her Tuesday, then there will be a three or four week wait, then I can get the thing.
However, I will ask Doctor Caswell if she has another sensor or two for my FreeStyle Pocket Gouger when I see her. She had lots of free samples she was eager to give out when I saw her before, so the answer should be yes.
That will tide me over till the G6 is approved with my having to fork out $100 for a sensor that should last forever.
Or be a fuckton cheaper.
So that’s good news. I also bought some “baby aspirin”. or as I prefer to call them, low-dose daily aspirin.
Because honestly, if I go gobbling up all the baby aspirin, where will the future generations of adult aspirin come from?
I’m just looking out for the future of the aspirin fishery, both commercial and sport.
Glad I finally remembered that I was supposed to be taking these little aspirinettes. my GP, Doctor Chao, told me to start taking them right away the day of the angiogram.
Which was um…. like, a while ago. Ooops.
Oh well, you can’t correct past mistakes. All you can do is move on and try to do better.
And I have them now, and will take one a day in order to thin my blood and reduce the chance of a heart attack or stroke.
Meanwhile, all I have to do is somehow figure out how one “takes it easy” when one already lives the lifestyle of a particularly lazy invalid.
Of course, due to my perverse and ornery nature, I now want to get outside and exercise more than ever.
Because like Rage Against the Machine says :
I really wish life had ever given me something to rebel against.
I would have been so good at it!
More after the break.
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I swear I had a top notch idea for what I was going to write about here tonight, but I didn’t write it down and now I have forgotten it.
I am telling you, the biggest lie I tell myself the most often and that does the most damage is “I don’t need to jot that down, I’ll remember it. “
Bullshit I will. That strategy has failed far, far more often than it has succeeded and yet somehow, some toxic combination of optimism, self-confidence, and laziness convinces me to just keep trying it.
Why it’s bound to work one of these times, right? Law of averages and all that.
I think it stems from that most universal and pervasive human foibles, our inability to imagine being in a mental state different than the one we are currently in.
Maybe we just don’t have room for more than one mental state in our minds. I dunno.
So when I have the brilliant idea, it’s super clear in my mind and it seems downright ludicrous to imagine it fading over time and getting lost in the shuffle of that incredibly busy post office I call my mind.
But of course, shit changes. In my case, rapidly. Before long, my mind has moved so far ahead that I can barely relate to the person who had the idea.
My mind is like the Mississippi at flood : wide, deep, AND rapid, all at the same time.
So if I want to keep my genius ideas for later use, I have to step away from my raging rapids long enough to write shit down.
Obviously. But as I mentioned earlier, I am an ornery cuss, and my highly indulged mind doesn’t want to slow down long enough to take notes.
This is why I dream of having a stenographer. Granted, I would still have to slow down long enough to put it into words and speak them, but that seems a lot better than having to find the notes, open them, find my place in them. click there, then start putting my thoughts into words I then type.
Makes me want to scream and tear my hair out just thinking about it.
Which I suppose would seem incomprehensible to someone with a more linear and methodical kind of mind. They might well prefer a slower and more plodding pace because it would give them time to plan and plot each step.
Not me, though. I gots to zoom zoom zoom. My brain only truly kicks into high gear when I can accelerate freely.
Slow and steady is not an option. I have a very high minimum speed.
But when I have plenty of space and a nice long straight track ahead of me…
I can go warp speed, baby. ZOOM.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.