That was a nice trip to mild relevancy yesterday, wasn’t it? I posted some links, commnted on them, talked about things that had nothing to do with me and myself and I, and created something that kind of looked like true value added content if you squinted a little and stayed upwind.

Well, so much for that, because here I am, once more trying to wring some words out of a sleep soaked, waterlogged, screwed up, distorted, smoldering brain and all you nice people who read these words are going to have to suffer through it.

I am so, so sorry.

not remembering anything from my dreams, although I am pretty sure there was a lot of freaky weird stuff in there. But the process of waking up and clearing the cobwebs from one’s mind often clears out those traces of dreams in the process, and my my is currently free of any specific recollections.

I guess they were in the cobwebs somewhere. Ick.

Been doing more experimenting with staying awake for longer periods to see if this results in longer periods of sleep. So far, this has proved to be the case, although the effects are modest. I think the limiting factor continues to be my bladder. Having to get up to pee because of all the water I drink throws the whole “sleeping eight hours in a row” plan off, as I seem to be incapable of just going right back to sleep afterwards.

Why? That is a damned good question. I know that I often wake up somewhat anxious from the effects of sleep and dreaming and whatnot, and so I think it’s quite possible that I can’t go back to sleep because I am actually afraid to go back to sleep, and I have to do something to distract myself while that anxious fear slowly ebbs away. I don’t usually think about this consciously (that’s what the distraction part is all about, right? but looking back on my memories of how I feel during those times, it is clear a deep anxiety is present.

The need to eat every six hours plays a small part in there too. After all, the conflict between “sleep for eight hours” and “eat every six” is obvious. And my ritual of watching something from Netflix while I eat, usually at least a half hour of watching, makes meals take more of my time than absolutely necessary, I suppose. If I didn’t do that, eating would probably take ten minutes or so, not including prep time.

But that’s a minor factor, and the Netflix viewing is one of my all important little pleasures that I would not give up easily. The small pleasures of life keep one grounded and remind the simple animal inside our brains that they are Good Dogs. Little go of any of your pleasures for anything other than a very very good reason, and you will be signing the death warrant for your sense of well being. And even if you have that very good reason, it is still imperative that you do not remove a pleasure from your life without having a replacement in mind, lined up and ready to go.

It will not be the same as the pleasure you are removing, but it still will fill the gap until you grow out of the pleasure you are forsaking and into the new one.

On the personal news front, spent most of my Xmas gift card goodness and now I have the fun of having the next two or three weeks in which all these things I have bought coming in via courier and/or the regular mail.

While the little kid inside of my wants all my presents NOW NOW NOW, for the most part, it is nice to have the pleasure of anticipation to make the fun of Xmas last into most of January.

So far, I have two pairs of jeans, a slow cooker, two Wii games, and a kitchen timer. I still have $20 or so to spend of the Amazcon.ca gift card, and I still have not heard or received anything from my sister Catherine. So the process is not quite done yet. But it’s very close.

I will probably spend that last bit of amazon cash on books. I have been enjoying reading some of the books I got as presents this year, especially A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett (yay, more of the Wee Free Men and Tiffany Aching!), and it’s rekindled my lust for fresh reading material and hence new horizons.

There is only so long you can read your existing collection of books, no matter how large, before you begin to crave something fresh that you have never, ever read before. Something crisp and new (to you), without any of your skin oils preserved in its pages from all that page-turning.

PArt of me wishes I had thought of more practical, useful things than more games for the Wii to spend on, but I just could not think of much of anything besides the jeans and so on.

Every time I thought of something, it turned out to be too expensive, or the store I was shopping at didn’t have it, or they had it but not with the features I wanted, or some other such bullshit. So I end up once more wasting more of my life on video games.

I am going to seriously consider ending my Gameaccess.ca account soon. As much as I love renting Wii games via mail, it is $20/month I cannot afford to spend with my rent going up eighty bucks a month on my next cheque.

I will keep the Netflix, though. Eight dollars a month is not much to pay for all the entertainment and enlightenment and pleasure I get from it.

If I could also find a way to cash my monthly cheque in a way that does not cost me 21 dollars each time, I would be halfway towards compensating for the increase, anyhow.

Having less money is going to be really fucking depressing.