Friday Science Convocation

Wow, that week just whizzed on by. How come the older I get, the shorter periods of time seem subjectively when I look back from the present, yet they seem as long as ever while I’m experiencing them?

Beats me, but I bet the answer has something to do with compression. As we get older and add more and more stuff to our mental hard drive, we are forced to compress our memories, and so the “space” between them becomes smaller, and that produces the illusion that times grow shorter all the time.

But then again, what do I know? On with the science!

Where To Get Your Greens

This is one of those ideas that blows your mind, because it is brilliant and totally obvious in retrospect and just makes so much sense.

Why not put hydroponic farms atop supermarkets?

I mean, d’oh! Why not grow the food on the roof? Talk about fresh, local produce! It’s so local, it only moved a hundred feet!

Heck, grab a ladder, you can “pick” it yourself.

I really like this Paul Lightfood guy. He is a man after my own heart, because he has a deep and abiding passion for efficiency, and so do I. I loathe waste. I hate it on a nearly cellular level. To me, efficiency is like a god. It’s how we get the most out of what we have. How we get the most human happiness from the limited amount of source material that we have.

And what could be more important than that?

I also think that people in efficient systems are happier. People in efficient systems can relax and concentrate on their job and not worry about the system, because efficient systems are trustworthy. You never feel like your effort or your contribution is wasted. It all fits into the overall purpose and it does so in a way that makes you feel like everything you do counts.

And you know what, Paul is right. Food is not grown primarily for flavour. It’s grown to stand up to shipping first, and to look good second, and to be cheap third. Flavour is maybe fourth, or in a tie for fourth with nutrition maybe.

Think of what you could do if you were growing the food right where it was being sold. We could all have the European Old World model, where the food you buy is so fresh, it was alive the morning you ate it.

It’s just so damned brilliant.

A Warm Little Robot

This little project really caught my eye, mostly because I see it as having enormous potential that maybe the inventors don’t see themselves.

It’s all about a little black box on wheels.

Inside this black box, at the heart of its operation, is a phase-change heat storage system that lets the little black box store heat and then radiate later.

Pretty cool, huh? But wait, there is so much more.

Because also inside this little black box is an infrared sensor and some smart programming to allow this little black box to use its wheels and go around looking for heat to absorb.

So imagine this little black box scooting about looking for heat to absorb, maybe soaking up some warmth from the back of your refrigerator, or that one lamp that still has the old fashioned hot light bulbs in it, or even curling up in the sunshine like a cat.

And it does this all day…. then when you get home, it finds you, and shares all the warmth it has gathered for you!

I tell ya, if you can take that and make it look cute, preferably with some kind of cute fuzzy animal motif, it would make the emotional connections people make with their Roombas look like a passing infatuation. Imagine an adorable robot animal that wants to make you warm, and spends all day looking for warmth to share with you!

I want one right now, honestly.

The Craziest F**ing Thing….

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about the craziest fucking thing I have seen lately.

This mad genius, Garnet Hertz, took an original Outrun full cabinet (if you played the game in the standup version, you were robbed) and modified it by mating it with a golf cart and turned it into a driving game you can drive.

What’s more, he also caught some major augmented reality vibes and made it so, via two cameras and some pretty nifty code, the road ahead of you is turned into Outrun graphics right there on the video game’s screen. You can truly drive the world as if you were playing Outrun!

Now, I have never liked driving games. They bore me and I am not that good at them. I really don’t feel motivated to win races. I want to save the world, not win some stupid rally.

But I tried the full Outrun back in the day, and it impressed even me with how visceral the experience was and how much that drew me into the game. I actually played the game more than a few times, which for me is very unusual, especially for a racing game without missile launchers.

(What can I say, I am better at combat that speed. )

So Outrun was already cool in my books…. but to take the gamer’s dream of taking the thing on the road and make it real is just beyond amazing.

I am sincere when I say I find this sort of thing beautiful. To me, making this thing is the epitome of art, because it’s a crazy idea turned into magnificent reality, a dream come true of epic proportions.

Now I am trying to think of what old arcade game I would like to see realized like this. A lot of the games I loved involved martial arts, and those are already more or less real.

I mean, nobody can really throw a hadoken, but still.

I sure as hell wouldn’t want to see real world Gauntlet. Too disturbing. And a lot of those old games, in the pre-genre days, were really messed up. Burger Time? Make Traxx? No thank you!

I give up. My games are all too disturbing to realize.

Although if someone figures out the hadoken thing, tell me, I want one.

Second verse, same as the first

Today’s script looks remarkably like yesterdays. Same shitty sleep, same me sitting here with smoking brain bearings trying to come up with some words to type, same feeling of aching and tiredness and confusion and discombobulation that I usually feel after a trip through the dark and unwholesome smoke that shrouds the secret island in my mind, where all my dreams come true.

And if you knew my dreams, you would know that’s not a good thing. Sometimes, even my nicer dreams are kind of unpleasant. And my nightmares are sometimes oddly soothing.

I am telling you, it’s a jungle in there.

Like, take today’s dream. Great production values as always, just spectacular, really, but I could not tell you what to make of it. My dreams don’t seem to have meanings or even dominant moods a lot of the time. They just sort of happen, like scenes in a confusing art film that is supposedly challenging you to “find your own meaning” but is really just full of crap.

Not that my dreams are full of crap. My head, maybe, or at least that’s how it feels sometimes. But not my dreams. My dreams are poop free.

Anyhow, in today’s dreaming, I was at some kind of high class function that was taking place in a museum, and there were various events happening in various nooks and crannies of the museum, and I wandered into one where a bunch of elegantly dressed and quite chic looking people were drinking champagne and playing some kind of trivia game.

Trivia? All right! My kinda milieu.

So I found a seat, and the idea seemed to be that anyone could answer the question, but if you got it wrong, you were out of the game. Harsh, I know. Seems designed to make sure nobody answers unless they are sure of themselves, but hey, what can I say, it was a dream.

I even remember one question. We has been shown a video clip of a European style cartoon where cartoon animals were have a really big and elegant party (kind of like the one I was at… hmmm… ) and then the question was “If there was three skunks… and five otters… ” and now I am thinking, “oh shit, a visual memory question, I am so screwed!”

“… then on what shore of the island can you find giant floating gummi bears tethered?”

Everyone, including me, just stare at the screen. There’s some nervous giggles. I completely did not remember seeing a giant gummi bear anywhere.

The options “1. North 2. East 3. South 4. West” appear on the screen. I look around at my fellow players and joke “Anyone want to just take a one in four chance, and guess?” A few people laugh, and a few others shake their heads. Nope! Nobody likes those odds.

Then, later on, when there’s only me and maybe six other players left in the game, there’s an announcement. I don’t quite catch what it is all about, but I thought it said something about the next rounds of the game taking place at a different location.

Just when I am getting around to looking at my fellowe players and saying “So, do we have to… ” there is a mechanical sound like when a ride at Disneyland starts up… and the whole room I am in, which is now saucer shaped in a way I didn’t notice before, begins to move. I look out a window and I see parts of the museum begin to slowly slide past us, like they were stops on a subway.

I look around, astonished, and one of the other players says “Oh, the whole thing goes… “. I laugh with delight and surprise, and say “This museum must be VERY well funded… “, to which my fellow players laugh indulgently.

As we begin to pick up speed, another fellow passenger says “you know, they have released the restraining mechanism… we are free to roam around now!” and everyone seems happy about this (I don’t remember being restrained, but at the time, it felt like I had) and I get up and start looking around at the vending machines along one wall of our surprisingly large moving compartment, because I have suddenly realized that I am ravenously hungry.

But all the machines look like they have nothing but light snacky foods and juices, and I want something substantial. Then I come across one for what it calls “Korean sub sandwiches” which sounds good to me.

But it’s this weirdly complicated vending machine, and while I am trying to figure out just what the system is, the dream shift and now I am in some sort of slightly futuristic sandwich shop, and I am trying to figure out my order with the guy behind the counter, whom I somehow know is also the owner of the restaurant. And I am having a heck of a time ordering because I am not just hungry but suffering from the effects of low blood sugar, so I am incoherent and have trouble staying focused.

My problems attract a crowd, and the guy behind the counter begins playing to the crowd, and I play along, because it is all pretty funny, me having trouble ordering a simple sandwich and the counter uy trying to help. It becomes like a comedy routine and the crowd is treating it as such.

Eventually, I get my sandwich ordered, and he is making it, when I realize I want some dessert, too. So I go over to this little condiment island type station and grab some prewrapped cookies and such, and go back to the counter.

But by this time, he has not only finished my sandwich, but rung it up too, and he makes a big show of being annoyed with me for adding things to my order. The audience laughs at this too.

I meekly suggest he could ring up the sandwich and the desserts separately, but he shakes his head and insists he can add it all up in his head.

And that’s where the dream, or my memory of it, ends.

Now, what to make of all of this? I have no idea.

Maybe I was just bored while asleep.