It’s Bucket O’ Content time again, all you fine and fulsome folks, where I share with you, my loyal an exclusive audience, some of the choice morsels that I have painstakingly gathered from the far corners of the Net for your nourishment and entertainment.

Nourishment and entertainment at the same time? Sounds like dinner theatre. You know, I bet dinner theatre was invented by a bunch of actor/waiters who really wanted to perform before an audience so they just started putting on little playlets in between courses.

Now, of course, it’s the stage acting equivalent of working at a McDonald’s.

Hooray German Resourcefulness

First up, am amusingly disturbing and downright horrifying image from the past.

That there is a “Gasaanvalbestendige kinderwagen”, or “gas war resistant pram”, here shown off attractively by lovely gas mask model Alptraum Kraftstoff.

As you might have guessed, this was a device for the up and coming mother in World War 1 who wanted to go for a comfortable stroll with her precious bundle from heaven but was worried about the constant threat of Allied mustard gas attacks.

Well worry no more, Frau Durchschnittlich! With this stylish and affordable new product from Why Don’t You Just Stay Home Industries, you and the fruit of your loins can see and be seen by all the other people who are for some reason also roaming the streets!

Just think of what the neighbours cowering in their basements will say if they should happen to glimpse you strolling by with the baby they will just have to assume is in there out of the one window they forgot to black out!

So orders yours now, and for only an additional shipping and handling charge, you will also get our Flak Resistant Bassinet and our Flamethrower Resistant Onesy.

Seriously lady… if it’s that bad, just stay the hell home, OK?

Catch As Catch Can

Next up, this rather fun video of a guy showing off his l33t remote control glider skills.

Quite the visual, is it not? What makes it so breathtaking is the moment you go from the context of the aerial view, which is very nice but we have all seen aerial shots like that a million times in television and movies, to the suddenly much smaller and more human level of Crazy Horst’s hand.

I can only imagine that if you are a remote controlled glider enthusiast, being able to RC pilot so well that you can catch it must be worth major badass points. And he clearly is not making it easy for himself. Some of those look like he was deliberately making it really hard for himself, in fact, and I have mad respect for that. The hot air balloon one really takes my breath away.

And I totally want to hang out with some guy called Crazy Horst some day. That sounds like my kind of guy. I bet he would have awesome toys.

Oh, and I love the cartoon sound effects with the bloopers. Classic.

The Old Watering Hole

And now, a cute little ad, very furry, for Mio.

I like the art style in that ad. They managed to balance animal and human characteristics quite well. It looks good, it’s expressive, and it’s charming. Not bad, people.

As for the script, I like the “crock” joke, but then, I have a known weakness for puns, especially silly animal puns. Otherwise, the script is cute but not that funny. But what the heck, it’s just an ad for this Mio stuff.

I have to admit, I am curious about it. It’s little drops of highly concentrated flavouring that you add to whatever water you have on hand. I am guessing that it is primarily for the bottled water crowd, whether the bottle was bought at the store or filled up at home. But it would work just as well with the free glass of water you get with your meal at a restaurant, I would imagine. You just have to endure the glare of the manager who knows you are dodging paying for a high margin drink with the stuff.

Speaking of which, who the hell orders water at a bar anyhow? Bitchy animal ladies, apparently.

Anyhow, I hope we get it up here soon. It works out to something like 17 cents per serving, which seems reasonable, although the website does not define serving, so… who knows? And it’s sugar free, which makes me happy.

And who says you can only add it water? It would be awesome to experiment with it in other beverages.

So bring Mio to Canada already, Kraft! Wannit.

The Real Beauty Secret Of The Stars

Finally, I saved the best for last. Finally, you too can know the real beauty secret that all the supermodels and actresses use in order to look so damned good!

Voila, it is revealed!

Totally Laughing Out Loud. Awesome work, ladies. Now that is satire. It pulls no punches and just lays it out big broad and beautiful. And I can think of few more deserving targets than the supermodel myth factory that makes billions of women hate themselves and their bodies and their faces because they do not look like people who do not exist.

I am serious. There is no point in wishing you looked like the women in the ads of your women’s magazine because those women don’t look like that either. Nobody does. Those people are as artificial and unreal as cartoon characters, and if you could be a fly on the wall when one of these models is at home and relaxed, you would see that she looks a heck of a lot more like you than you ever thought possible.

This kind of thing makes me so damned angry that I don’t know what to do with myself. So bravo to all the ladies who made that clip, and especially to the one who wrote and directed it, Jesse Rosten.

Jesse can totally be a girl’s name, right?