Thoughts about stuff

As you can see by the title, I am pursuing a brand new era in vagueness.

According to this article, something interesting is happening in the world of Scrabble.

No, not that a boy was caught cheating – he was palming blank tiles, which apparently explained a previous suspiciously strong performance – but that the media has blown the whole thing out of perspective, and presumably made this poor kid’s life miserable while also pissing off the Scrabble set.

Because it is not like the media treats Scrabble seriously. So the news angle is all “Aww look, something interesting happened in boring old lame Scrabble. ” That is not making anyone happy.

I can only imagine that people in the serious Scrabble community feel rather like those of us in the Furry community whenever the media spotlight shines our way. In theory, in a perfect world, it would be a good thing that spreads happy news about your oddball little subculture.

But in this imperfect world, the real world, all it does is invite snide mockery from media asshats and peanut gallery hooting and hollering from the unwashed and ignorant masses, and you really wish these media cretins has just left you and your happy little group alone.

So my sympathies go out to the world of competitive Scrabble today. And do not worry, this too shall pass. It seems almost unendurable now, but not too long from now, it will just be an old scar that still hurts if you prod at it, but otherwise has faded from your mind.

Myself, I love Scrabble. Great game for a word nerd like me. I am not that good at it, because I do not really think strategically enough for a complex multi-axis game like that. So I am good at the finding and forming words part, but serious players kick my ass because they know how to block strategic areas and think three moves ahead and all that.

I am going to be going to a barbeque at the home of my roomie Joe’s parents this evening. I am looking forward to it, while acknowledging the thick stew of social anxiety and trepidation bubbling in the back burner of my mind.

I have tried to just push all social anxiety from my mind and approach these situations as though I am a normal person looking forward to a standard social gathering, but that has a tendency to backfire on me. Sooner or later, that unwatched pot boils over, and when it does, I am in a far worse situation because it is completely overwhelming and I end up having to flee in one way or another.

Bathrooms. We social anxiety type love bathrooms. We can hide there until the panic subsides.

So instead of trying to ignore the pot and pretend it is not there, I will simply accept that I am going to have to keep an eye on it all night, and stir it and cool it and care for it carefully so that it stays at that nice easy to handle low simmer and does not blow up in my face.

But hey. Blowups happen. I might have one anyhow. And I will just have to deal with it.

Sometimes I wish I could somehow just destroy that part of my brain, the part that cannot relax in social situations and continues to accumulate panic the longer I am in them. The part that makes me feel like I am constantly on the edge of social disaster, that I am surely about to say something stupid or rude or excessively blunt and/or incisive and the only solution is to flee, flee, flee back into the forest and find myself a deep dark cool hole to hide in until I can breathe again.

And the thing is, it is always there. Even right now, when I am alone in the apartment, in my room, in front of my computer, at the maximum comfort level currently available to me in this world, I can feel the social anxiety fulminating in the background of my psyche, ready to slap a vise around my heart and pour high test anxiety toxins into my bloodstream and set my head pouncing and making me feel like a hunted animal two seconds away from death at the jaws of a predator.

I think that is a lot of what “informs” my depression. The anxiety pushes me into this tight tiny corner of life, trapping me in a cage that has no locks, no doors, no bars even. Just a relentless wind that blows on me constantly and chills me to the bone, and inevitably pushes me into the deepest hole just to get away from the wind as much as I possibly can.

Even when I am just hanging out with my friends, whom I love, sitting on my own little couch and watching videos and chatting and laughing and having a great time, the happiest moments in my so-called life right now, there is a part of me that wants to run away, flee to my bedroom and turn the light out and lay down and wait until the anxiety goes away.

I don’t do that, thank goodness. The urge is fairly low in comfortable, familiar surroundings with people I know and trust, and who know and understand me.

They know exactly what kind of weirdo I am, more or less, and they still like me. And really, what more can you ask for in friends?

But still, a number of times in an evening, I will feel a stab of desire to flee, or a longing to be at my computer where I control the stimulation level and type at all times.

But all this said, I am making progress. The wind grows weaker every day, or perhaps I am merely growing a thicker pelt. I can better imagine walking into social situations with some degree of confidence now.

And hey, I am going to a BBQ. And you know what that means?

Free food! And drink.

Hey, whatever motivates you, right?

Friday Science Whoozit, August 17, 2012

Ever so much science this week. So without further ado… 3..2..1… CONTACT!

Starting as usual with the most harmless and friendly of the back, we have scientists who have reach the highest possible resolution for laser printing : 100,000 DPI.

Why? Because they could. It is not like the human eye has a resolution that high, And to pull this off, the Singapore researchers had to print like this :

Each is a tiny gold or silver nanodisk fixed to a tiny pillar. Color is conjured by adjusting each disks diameter and the spacing between it and its neighbors, creating an effect called plasmon resonance that is perceived by the eye as different shades.

That is not exactly going to be coming to a Lexmark near you any time soon.

I mean, just imagine what they would charge for printer ink if it had gold and silver in it!

Moving on to a more more interesting limit-braking exercise, the USAF is in the very early stages of developing a hypersonic jet that could fly at speeds approaching a mile a second.

And when I say early, I mean the exploding prototypes, just past proof of concept type stage.

But still, I am including it because it is fun to imagine a future in which the jet age is replaced by the hypersonic age, and a trip from New York to Paris takes a little over an hour, and a trip from New York to Melbourne, Australia takes just under three hours.

That would be a profound world shrinking technology. I can’t imagine it will replace the airlines so much as form a layer above them. Just as now, you have big jets between big hubs, smaller jets between smaller hubs, and sometimes even prop planes to get you to the more obscure destinations, I think the hypersonic jets would be reserved only for long trips between large, distant hubs.

Unless they someone prove to be cheaper, in which case, they will take over completely. But that sounds pretty unlikely without some unforeseeable economies of scale factor changing the game.

And speaking of game changers, a coalition of ticked off Internet users have gotten together to create app.net, a new social network that plans to keep the hooligans and riffraff out by charging $50 to get in.

The sentiment appears to be the old saw that the Internet sucks now that just about anyone can get on it, and it was so much cooler when it was just us l33t nerds who were on it, and so the only solution is to create our own Internet gated community and pretend the rest of the Net does not exist.

This rankles my base egalitarianism, so I am having trouble being objective about it. It has 10,000 subscribers so far, so it is well funded enough to work. And I imagine that they will not have the problem of say Google Plus, which simply failed to reach social network critical mass and therefore people signed up only to find that nobody they knew was there.

With a $50 up-front investment, people will be far more motivated to pressure they equally pissed off friends to join up.

However, their central idea that the $50 at the door entry fee will keep out the riffraff is flawed, in my opinion. It assumes that all the Internet hooligans are poor, which is a very naive and bourgeois view of the world. And it also assumes that nobody would pay $50 just to mess with people, and that is clearly wrong. Paying $50 will make certain types of people feel entitled to do whatever they want on the service, as opposed to the implied social contract of a free service, where you paid nothing for it and lose nothing (monetarily) if it is taken away for your bad behaviour.

The other philosophical plank of their endeavour, that being a user-funded enterprise with no advertising will keep the company focused on what users what, seems dubious to me as well. Right now, their funding model is pay $50 once and you are in for life. That is a lousy business model from the customer’s point of view. After they have your money, what is their incentive to keep you happy? The incentive, in fact, is to pare operating costs down to the minimum possible in order to keep the largest amount of that initial deposit for themselves as possible.

That assumes a traditional corporate business model, of course, but I will not go further into it or I will be here all night.

Let’s just say that if they want me to fork over $50 to join a social network, it is going to have to offer an advantage far more potent than merely being “far away from the madding crowds”.

Finally, our Creepy Science story for this week. Skynet, if you are listening, this is your cue : the U.S. Navy has developed the first autonomous war-drone.

It is called the X-47B and it is capable of taking off, heading toward a target, evading enemies in hostile air place, attacking a target, and returning to base all by itself.

Well isn’t that just dandy!

It is what the Army types are calling “man-in-the-loop” technology, which means that there will be a remote pilot monitoring the X-47B at all times during operating, but all the moment to moment decisions will be made by the machine’s computer.

To me, this sounds like we are going from drone operators piloting their vehicles to them merely commanding them. The robot is now the pilot, and the operator is merely the commanding officer back at the base shouting instructions to the pilot in a movie.

And just like in that kind of movie, there is always the possibility that the drone will ignore orders and go rogue, and then what do we do? I am not talking the drone becoming evil or anything, but what if some malfunction makes it go haywire and decide a kindergarten is its target?

And of course, if it is controlled remotely, the enemy could always take control and then suddenly they have a US drone with US markings to use for whatever nasty surprises they can think up.

So color me concerned.

That’s it for this week, folks! Seeya next time!