Every once in a while, despite my intense self-absorption, the news just batters down the doors of my little mental farmhouse and forces me at metaphorical gunpoint to deal with it.

Usually it is because of one big news story that completely bowls the world over and makes me need to comment even though I know every other blogger in the world is doing it too.

But today, it is a number of news stories that might not have warranted comment individually, but have ganged up on me and made me feel I had to have my say on them or I would not be able to rest.

Warning, none of them are what one would call good news.

First off, comedy legend Phyllis Diller has died, at the ripe old age of 95.

And as a comedy nerd, I feel the loss. She was an amazing presence, able to match wits with the best as recently as her appearance earlier this year on the Daily Show. Glamorous, dynamic, and funny as hell, she was the first lady to work the big clubs with the big boys of comedy way back in 1955, when she was 37 years old and had raised five kids already.

Being 39 myself, it gives me great hope to know that you can start that late in life and become a legend, granted, of course, you are amazingly talented.

What I loved most about her comedy was her wicked laugh and her fearless commitment to being unladylike, while still somehow being one hell of a lady. She seemed like your crazy spinster aunt with a long list of ex-husbands who shows up to family gatherings and makes you get in trouble because she keeps making jokes about all the old family secrets that everyone knows but pretends do not exist, and you can’t help but laugh even though you are getting dirty looks from everybody for encouraging her.

She was one funny lady. The comedy world lost some of its sparkle today.

And while we are on the subject of dead celebrities, I was shocked, as was the world, to hear that director Tony Scott had committed suicide.

I can’t claim to have been a fan because I am often clueless as to who makes the movies I watch, so I had no idea who he was until today.

But I feel the need to comment because, as someone who has been battling his own depression for many years, the subject of suicide touches me personally, and whenever someone prominent who seems to “have everything” commits suicide, it really makes me think about what is truly important in life.

I mean, if all the success and material wealth in the world can’t keep you from taking your own life, then clearly, there has to be something more to this long slide to the grave we call life.

And I cannot help that note that a man who made action-packed, tightly-paced, extremely manly movies like Unstoppable and Top Gun chose to end his life in a very action-packed manner : he jumped off a bridge.

Is it wrong to say that seems appropriate? The rumour is that that he had an inoperable brain tumour, and perhaps wanted to end his life while he still had some dignity and control.

If so, then I do not blame him for what he did. I do not approve of suicide for any other reason, but wanting to go out before disease makes a helpless meat puppet is something I understand.

Death is not always the worst thing that can happen to you.

On to lighter news, let’s talk about a Republican committing political suicide by saying something appallingly ignorant and horrible.

The precis : Congressman Todd Akin, running for office in Missouri, on the question of abortion for victims of rape, said :

“From what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare,” Akin said. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

Why does it not surprise me that this prime idiot is an engineer by trade? Male engineers are famous for their sensitivity to and understanding of women.

Unfortunately, the GOP have been swift, decisive, and brutally effective in damage control mode. Pretty much the entire Republican machine has pounced on this guy like a starving cat on a fish head, urging him to drop out of the race and withdrawing $5 million that they were going to spend on advertising for the guy’s campaign. So far, he says he is “no quitter” and will stay on, but they usually say that… at first, then someone takes them aside for a little serious cigars and cognac talk, and then they decide to do what is best for the party before Dick Cheney visits their dreams and devours their souls.

That, plus the fact that the Daily Show and Colbert are currently on break, makes me feel like the GOP have made their saving throw against this catastrophic gaffe when they really do not deserve it.

Finally, in nerdy trivia news, today was both Gene Roddenberry’s birthday (if he was still with us, he would have been 91) and Jonathan Frakes’ 60th birthday.

What are the odds that one of the main character actors from a Trek series would have the same birthday as the Great Bird of the Galaxy himself?

Actually, when you consider that there are only 365 days in the year, and there have been five major Trek series, and then you add the fact that they are both Leos and there are a lot of Leos in show biz, the odds are better than you would think.

Still, I thought it was an interesting little constellation of coincidence, and so I thought I would use it to round out today’s round-up of the news.

Happy birthday, Number One! Hope all the bummer news did not harsh your birthday mellow.

But if it did, remember, you can always go back in time and change it.

Just grab a shovel!

And with that obscure reference, I bid you adieu.