OK. Time to take another crack at the question of people’s relationship with math and numbers.

I keep coming back to his subject because it puzzles me. I find it hard to understand why so many people have this strong mental aversion to things involving math, even very basic math. So I suppose I am looking for answers.

The root of my puzzlement is that the sort of math I am talking about is very simple math. We’re not talking about strange mathematics involving bizarre sounding things like “n-space” and “asymptotic variables”. We’re not even talking about algebra, the bete noire of many.

We are talking about extremely simple math : add, multiply, subtract, divide. If you graduated from elementary school, you know how to do these thing. And you don’t even need to do these things yourself. That’s what calculators (or, more likely, calculator apps) are for. You only have to understand them.

So it is clear that it’s not that people can’t do or understand the math. They are perfectly capable of it. And yet they avoid math like it’s the worst mental torture known to mankind.

Ergo, it must be something deeper. Something about the nature of one’s experience with math, perhaps.

One possibility is that it’s entirely random. If your first experience with math is easy and fun, you form a good opinion of it, and said opinion leads you to be open to more math, and hence you become good at it and comfortable with it.

If the first experience is bad, the opposite happens. The mind closes down on the subject because math is now treated as a threat imposed upon one from above, and the scenario is set for a person to learn only the absolute minimum required in order to get through school and then to cleanse the mind of all math once school is done.

This phenomenon is greatly enhanced by the nearly universal belief that some people are just naturally good at math, like they have the “math gene”, and for everyone else, it’s nothing but mystery and misery.

I don’t believe it, and I think belief in this “math gene” is very destructive. It gives people an out that seems like a relief at the time (guess I am just not one of those math people) but which, in my opinion, leads to people being unnecessarily subnumerate and hence open to manipulation, not to mention unable to exert the control over their lives that a comfort level with math brings, especially when it comes to finance.

Money is numbers. And numbers are power.

I don’t think it’s a gene and I don’t think it is random chance either. I think it goes yet deeper than that, into the deeper layers of human psychology. I think people become afraid of numbers and math because they understand that numbers are binding, and do not want to be bound by them.

The amount of money you have is a number. As such, it cannot be changed to fit better with your emotional needs. That’s why people think numbers are “cold”. They are not alive. They are finite. They are limited. And some people, right-brained people, simply cannot accept that kind of truth.

So they rebel against it. They do everything they can to minimize contact with the cold, finite, divided, “uncaring” world of numbers. They prefer to operate from an expansive worldview that is not tied down by numbers. They try, in a sense, to pretend numbers do not exist or do not represent truth in any meaningful way.

But the numbers of a situation do represent truth. Hard, unyielding, unwavering truth. And if the numbers don’t add up, nothing works. No amount of soul-searching, contemplation, examination from different perspectives, or prayer is going to change that.

If something costs $1200, that’s it. You either have that much money or not. If a bridge can only hold 1000 pounds, then there is no amount of negotiation that can convince it to hold more. If your child’s temperature is 104, then it’s time to take them to the doctor no matter how inconvenient it might be.

Numbers can represent truth that absolutely cannot be denied. No wonder so many people don’t like them.

Some people even give in to the feeling that the numbers somehow change when they are not looking, and it can certainly seem like that sometimes when you are dealing with numbers on a large scale.

But you know they didn’t. The idea is absurd on the face of it. What, did magical number gremlins change the numbers while you blinked? Of course the numbers haven’t changed. How could they? And armed with this irrefutable fact, you can go back to what you are doing and figure out where you went wrong.

Perhaps the difference is one of the qualitative versus the quantitative. Or pragmatism versus idealism. The idealist wants to remain in the world of untarnished ideals. The pragmatist accepts the limitations and imperfections of the world because they wish to get things done.

Being a pragmatist myself, as well as someone who is quite comfortable working with numbers, I might be biased. But to me, people’s refusal to do even the most basic kind of mathematical reasoning strikes me as childish and absurd.

And that’s what it boils down to. Once you strip away the things that a calculator can do and the belief that math is a “you got it or you don’t” proposition, all you have left is mathematical reasoning. People are unable or unwilling to think in numbers.

And these are not stupid people, necessarily. That’s why I think it has something to do with psychology or temperament. Some people inherently reject the cold hard inflexible truth of numbers, and will tell themselves whatever it takes to discredit mathematical truth so they don’t have to face their own refusal to accept reality.

“Oh, surely such a complicated thing as this can’t be reduced to mere numbers!”

Why the hell not?

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.

Welcome to what is probably the last installment of the video roundup for now, at least.

I sort of miss talking about stuff.

Anyhow, on with the show!

Of course, we start with music.

In case you missed it, and I doubt you did, the reverse echoing stuff near the beginning and the excellent Peter Lorre quote at the end are the exact same clip.

I originally had the clip at the end of the song, by itself, but then I decided it would be much funnier if the music cut out right before he said “HE’S MARRYING A CHICKEN!”

And now, I confuse people by talking :

Well I had been listening to a very erudite female men’s rights advocate and I was sort of hot for the cause. And I was trying to illustrate a point. But I think I got a little carried away. I wanted to illustrate the different ways people think about different genders and how bizarre that is, and tilted against men it can be.

That was all I was saying.

Blah blah blah, more music :

Meh. No… that’s not strong enough. Bleh.

Some okay ideas but as a whole, it’s uneven, off balance, and clumsy. Kind of ashamed of it really. But it is, perversely, not in my nature to take something down just because I don’t think it’s my best work.

Logically speaking, that’s exactly what I should do. But that’s sane thinking, and I am not, in any sense, sane.

Not sure I want to be, honestly. It seems like such a drag.

And speaking of things I am not totally proud of :

It wasn’t originally called Test Footage, but I was unhappy enough to want some weasel words in there. I mean, it’s not horrible or anything, but it ended up falling a long way sort of what I was trying to do and that’s always depressing for us fragile and sensitive artistic types.

Love that ending, though. Almost makes up for the rest of it. I need to tap into my uber wacky side more often.

And now, part three of my self-abuse trilogy.

Man I was bummed. Now, after talking to my therapist about it and having him talk me down from mt tree so I could bounce back, it all seems almost silly. But at the time, I really did feel like I had fucked up big time and I was in deep doodoo because of it.

It’s sad how depression can keep you from seeing the solution to your problems. It makes your horizons so damn small.

This next piece is a companion video to this blog entry :

Not a lot to say here. I am not saying that it’s some major cross to bear to be a person who doesn’t have a lot of strict preferences. But it has been a issue in my life, not severe, but pesky. That’s why, like I say in the blog entry, I express preferences when asked even if deep down I don’t really give a shit.

That way, things go more smoothly and I don’t end up arguing with people who are trying to help me.

More of me just talkin’ :

It says something about my general level of impatience that I am already tired of talking CPAP. I went back to the place yesterday. My sleep apnea tests at just past the line between “mild” and “moderate”, like it did before, and things went pretty well with the CPAP machine once I a) remembered to get distilled (oh sorry, “demineralized” water for it and b) had a few nights to get back into the habit.

It’s still a pain to have to strap in just to sleep, but that will fade with time as well.

Oh look, I’m talking in natural light again :

And yeah, like I say, I am probably repeating stuff I said before in various venues. It was what was on my mind right before I made the video, and so I went with it, and realized partway through that I had already talking about this stuff.

But at least I eventually staggered into new territory.

The way I do things is so crazy!

But hey, check out those production values!

Well, if it’s not talking, it must be music :

Bleh. Bordering on blek. Volume balance is way off, and the whole thing seems lumpy, uneven, and sudden. I must have been really messed up that night and hence even sloppier than usual.

Honestly, sometimes it amazes me that anything I do turns out well. Just goes to show that method, reason, and careful scrutiny is one way to get things done.

But it’s not the only way. There’s a lot to be said for the joy of creation and the freedom of mind it requires.

And now, for something completely different :

Great fun doing this, although the sort of listening required is surprisingly draining. You have to listen very intently and yet in a very specific way. It makes me tired just thinking about it, to be honest.

I hope the results are funny to people, or at least entertaining. It’s a fine line between “LOL random” and just plain random. it seems funny to me, but I made the darn thing. I just might be biased.

That’s the thing with comedy, as least from where I am sitting. Sometimes I create stuff that feels right to me, but at the same time, I have absolutely no idea if anyone would find it funny at all.

So it’s not always the comedy writer sniggering at their own wit as they type out their gems of hilarity.

Sometimes it’s as abstract and intuitive as tone poetry.

Finally, we have this video of me being silly in my CPAP mask.

Sorry about the low volume. I guess you have to be Ron Perlman to be able to project through a mask like that.

Well, that’s it for now folks. We’re not totally caught up, but the rest can go into the roundup for next Sunday.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.