I almost never talk politics here. Not sure why except that I prefer to keep this space as personal and intimate as possible, and politics takes away from that.

But I can’t think of a single thing in my usual wheelhouse to write about at this moment, and so I am going to talk politics and world affairs until something more apropos occurs to me, or until I hit my word limit, whichever comes first.

Besides. We live in interesting times. The kind that future historians will study and debate endlessly because the story is so horrifying and absurd, and will no doubt have ramifications for the future coming out the ying yang.

Like the Watergate era with a lobotomy.

Myself, I am enjoying the heck out of watching Trump’s ship burn down to the waterline and sink slowly into an inky morass. Sure, it’s not exactly good for America – that shutdown shit was crazytown even for Trump – but now that it is over and his leadership has been fatally wounded by his caving in to the evil forces of logic, reason, common sense, and basic human decency, I can resume thoroughly enjoying the non stop schadenfreude buffet slash orgy that the Trump White House has become since the mid term elections swept the Democrats into power in the House.

The House of Reprentatives, that is. Whose members are called congresspeople. Even though Congress is the House PLUS the Senate.

I am telling you, nothing about the American system makes any goddamned sense

Meanwhile, across the pond, Teresa May continues to be the Kim Campbell of the UK. Like our dear Kim (technically Canada’s first female PM), Teresa May is a nice but fundamentally dull person entirely unsuited to the role of Prime Minister who only got the role because the office had become so goddamned polluted by that time that only an idiot would take on the job of cleaning up the collosal mess left by the supernatural level incompetence of the previous male PM.

I have to admit, I was tres surprised when, after her Brexit plan was shot down with great vigor and vitriolic vehemence in the House of Commons, she somehow survived a vote of no confidence.

That means that a lot of the people in her own party who hated her plan so much they voted against it nevertheless want her to stay in power and try to fix things.

Seems almost cruel, really. I can only assume that none of her Tory cronies want to have to do the job themselves and even the dimmest of them must understand that if there was an election now, they would lose absolutely everything.

After all, they started the whole bloody thing.

And when I say everything, I mean everything. I will always cherish my memories of the night Mulroney’s Progressive Conservatives lost all but two seats, and those two were both held by politicans so beloved by their constituents that they could have run for the Purple Elephant Penis Party and still won.

Back to Trump. (It always comes back to Trump. )

I think impeachment is a real possibility now. Previous to the shutdown, I would have agreed with the general feeling that impeachment was impossible because Mitch “The Bitch” McConnell, corrupt bastard that he is, would never even let an impeachment motion go to a vote on the Senate floor.

But Trump threw Mitch under the bus multiple times, and Mitch, reports suggest, is super goddamned pissed off about it. Not only that, but as the shutdown lingered on and became extremely unpopular even amongst Republicans, it was Mitch’s bitch ass in the dunking booth as every GOP Senator and their girlfriend’s dog hollering for Mitch to Do Something About The Situation.

So he did. Rumour has it he’s the one who really gave Trump an earful on multiple occasions in the days leading up to the end of the shutdown.

In fact, Mitch the Chinless Wonder might actually be single-handedly responsible for the shutdown ending. So, props for that, you obscene homonculus.

So Mitch knows he can kick Trump’s ass if he has to, and by the primitive reptile-brain rules of moron conservatives (but I repeat myself), that means he can’t respect Trump any more and desires to see him replaced by a stronger leader.

And that means Mitch might decide to let that motion to remove Trump from office go through to a vote after all.

After all, it’s not like our Parliamentary system, where the only way to take down the PM is to take down their party and force an election.

All that would happen is that Pence would take over. From the point of view of reptillian Reptard like Mitch the Bitch, that’s perfectly fine.

Pence would have to be way easier to work with and way less embarrassing than Trump. I mean, how could he not be?

The bar for that is set so low the bottom of it sticks out into China.

Impeachment might also be the only way to save the Republican Party from total oblivion. Remember, Mulroney was so toxic that his party, the Progressive Conservatives, ceased to be. It died after a long lingering illness.

So yeah. I see impeachment and subsequent removal from office as a real possibility, and the only thing that could stop it for sure would be Trump resigning.

And I am pretty sure that is what he would do the minute it became clear that he was going to actually answer questions about, like, SO MANY THINGS.

Apparently, if you’re a billionaire and incredibly spoiled (but I repeat myself), and senile but in denial about it, you stop thinking about whether something is illegal or not and do all kinds of illegal shit without covering your tracks at all because you have genuinely forgotten that bad things like being arrested can ever happen to you.

So it’s a real horse race between all the many, many. MANY illegal and otherwise shady things he has done as to which one will actually be the thing that brings him down.

The easy money is on the Russia stuff, of course, because treason. But honestly, it could be a lot of other things too.

I would hate to be Robert Mueller right now. How do you keep up with it all?

Well that’s my words for today, folks.

I promise to go back to my endless navel gazing tomorrow.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.

I have been contemplating my near pathological inability to multitask and its deeper implications today, and thought I would share.

Because it goes a lot deeper than being bad at mundane chores that require a little multitasking. My hyper focus oriendted mind is what makes me miss most of the world, as counterintuitive as that might seem.

To start off, we have to remember that by default, I am entirely focused on the world in my head. That is my base mode. It’s the sort of capacity one develops during the hours and hours of stultifying boredom I had to endure in school.

They made no attempts to challenge me.

This inner focus zealously guards its monopoly on my mental resources, and usually only allots the absolute bare minimum amount of attention to any but the most absording and stimulating of tasks, and that’s pretty much everything except things like reading or playing a video game or writing.

Even watching TV is not stimulating enough for me any more, and if I can do it at all, it is only while I am eating and preferably also with friends.

It hurts to say that, because TV raised me. I feel so disloyal!

Oh, there’s one other thing that can hold my attention : good conversation. Like the conversations I have with my friends.

Other than that, everything I do, I do on a severe austerity basis. And even then, I sometimes end up very confused because those hungry inner processes of my mind have just dumped my working memory and it’s like I just woke up.

That’s fucked up, man.

Anyhow, the way this connects with my lack of multitasking is that it does not leave any mental CPU cycles for noticing things. My active conscious window into the world is alway very tightly focused on whatever it is I am doing, and so if something changes in my environment, I won’t notice unless it is very attention-grabbing.

And even then, maybe not. I walked right past a house fire without noticing once. People could not believe it. How could I miss a HOUSE BEING ON FIRE?

I got a lot going on in my head, okay?

And it’s also a defense against the world. The world stays out there. I stay in here. In my mind, things can be as quiet and predictable and cerebral as I want.

It’s out there that I find unpleasant.

Now if this inner focus was just some kind of absentminded professor lovable quirk, then it would be no big deal. Like my mother says, I’m her little dreamer, walking around with my head in the clouds all the time.

But it goes further than that because the human mind needs sensory input. That’s why people risk losing their minds when they go into a sensory deprivation tank. Without sensory stimulation, vital parts of the mind go numb, or worse, the brain generates random signals just to keep them alive.

That’s where hallucinations would come in. Luckily. I don’t have those. Much.

This lack of stimulus effect expresses itself in me as numbness to the world. Why? Because like a prisoner in solitary confinement, my environment never changes.

And one of the basic facts of neurology is that repeated stimuli are muted by our nervous system. That’s more or less the entire basis for getting used to things.

So I live in a very unreal world. The sensory stimulation I get from my environment as I sit in front of this goddamned computer is effectively zero. I have come as close as is humanly possible to being just a brain on the Internet.

Which is a freaky thought.

The only significant sensory inputs I get are from the computer itself. Audio and visual, and none of it as richly stimulating as even a very boring real thing.

It’s all mental stimulation. All the time, every day. And while I like to think I have a strong and well-developed mind, the rest of me is starving to death.

It’s a trap I have fallen into due to my anxiety and depression. I isolate myself from the world in other to avoid stirring up my adrenaline and hence my anxiety. But that’s a very severe cure that is most likely worse than the disease.

As a result of this isolation, I have become accustomed to very low physical stimulation levels, and therefore even quite mild stimuli can seem like too much to me.

And then, bing goes that goddamned anxiety and I am freaking out over nothing.

Another problem with this deep inner focus is that I never get the active sensory feedback I need in order to become less of a klutz. People are supposed to learn how to navigate their world and do what needs to be done by doing it, more or less, and I have isolated myself from that kind of learning both because of anxiety and because my depression, playing tapes from my childhood, tell me I can’t do anything except make things worse by trying so I should never try to learn new skills.

Hence, I am a maladroit extaordinaire. All it would have taken was one adult with the patience and tenacity to make me try something over and over again until I got it right in order to build my confidence in myself, but between my stubbornness and their apathy, it never happened.

And at this rate, it never will. Le sigh.

But the most worrying thing about this deep inner focus and the thick walls between me and reality that it supports is that it cuts me off from emotional inputs as well.

There are people who love me and care about me a lot and I don’t feel it. I know it and I beleive it, but I don’t feel it. At all.

I am just too numb. I want to feel it, I crave the warmth of human contact in all forms, but there is a thick callous between me and the world that was designed to help me cope with loneliness by tuning out the lack of signal that causes it.

But the cost was far too high. It’s so very cold in this heart of mine. The sunlight never makes it through. I am a strange and frozen beast that knows no mate.

I can think. I am very good at thinking. If it can be done by speaking and/or thinking, I am your man.

But it all comes from a cold dark place where I am all alone, forever.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.