Or was it the other way around?
Anyhow, here’s the vid.
So yeah. I think I am ready to start living for fun. And not just the sad, weak fun I can get from video games. Real fun, the kind that comes with thrills and excitement.
I’ve enjoyed a lot of video games over the years, and some of them have been truly great experiences, but they were still safe, tame, controlled experiences with very little in the way of real, physical stimulation.
Which was kind of the point, in a way. No physical, all cerebral, nice and cozy and contained and guaranteed not to upset the status quo.
Said quo being “do nothing but play video games all fucking day”. Every day. All the time. For decades on end. Like I was in a prison cell for fuck’s sake.
Well that’s not good enough any more. Fuck that shit. I’m not in prison, or cold storage, or suspended animation, or the witness protection program.
I’m a living, breathing mammal who is finally ready to increase his stimulation level.
Shake off my lethargy and do stuff. It doesn’t have to be some kind of world shaking megaproject or magnum opus or anything.
It can just be me fucking around with some AI tool or another. For example.
It just has to be new and fun and exciting. The world is a toy chest right now and I can’t wait to find what wonders this new age of AI will produces in the future.
Because this shit’s just getting started, folks.
Speaking of which, I made another little thing with Vidu that I like.
It’s just so wholesome that you’d suspect Vidu had a lot of restrictions. 😛
Just for the heck of it, I tagged it as being made for kids. I mean, why not? Kids might well enjoy this lovely little snippet.
I just wish they would rephrase the question. No, it’s not made for kids. But it is safe for kids. It’s as G-rated as it gets.
Heck, most of my vids would be SFW if I didn’t swear so much.
But I express myself in the manner of my people. I grew up in a swearing culture back on Prince Edward Island, and I am proud to carry on that tradition, for fuck’s sake.
I will consider stopping my swearing when and if I get the requisite 500 subscribers necessary to be able to monetize my videos.
Which would presumably involve promoting them somehow, and oof. That is not something that comes naturally to me at all.
My instinct is to just put things out there and people can decide for themselves whether they like it or not.
But of course, they have to know it exists and see it first.
The other unappealing solution would be to work really, really hard to make videos so damned good that anyone who sees them not only loves them but absolutely must get all their friends and family to see it too.
That does not currently seem likely. Though my discontent with how plain and boring my videos are visually continues to grow.
Which reminds me… I found out there’s a Windows TikTok app!
So I am back on TikTok. Most of my vids would fit in there quite well. Most of the videos on TikTok are just people talking.
It’s what is expected there.
I dunno if there’s a time limit on videos on TikTok but I am pretty sure there is not. I recorded some fairly long vids back when my tablet was working.
I might even start uploading all my current vids to TikTok. I mean what the hell, I technically have a following there too.
I am just happy to be back on the Tok. I really enjoyed my time there.
Who knows, maybe I’ll become famous that way.
More after the break.
`In the middle of a thought
That’s how I feel right now.
Like I’m a CD that got stuck between tracks. My brain is looking for something to say but it’s not coming up with anything. I feel alarmingly blank.
Oh well, I know this too shall pass. Just like my attack of mental thickness last week. it seems upsetting now, but once I am rested up and hydrated, I’ll fine.
Slowly I am learning not to freak out about stuff.
But that means finding other uses for that energy. I had another “bad moment” earlier where I felt like could jump out of my own skin out of sheer frustrated nervousness
This time, though, I was able to really focus on the “what would make things better right now? ” question and I got an answer :
Running. What would have made me happy would be to go full tilt running across a grassy field that stretches out infinitely so I can just run and run and run and not have to worry about turning or slowing down, just running as fast and as hard as I can for the sheer exuberant rush of letting all that pent up energy out like a wild stallion.
Not an option, obviously, but it gives me a clue as to what the problem is.
If the goal is to release energy, there are probably ways I can do that which fit within the confines of my disability.
I am still worried about hurting myself via my undiagnosed and apparently uninteresting muscle disorder. But I am weighing that against the benefits I would undoubtedly get from exercise, such as tension relief, mood elevation, better vascular health, and so on.
There has to be some form of exercise I can make myself do that won’t make my condition worse and will give me some form of relief.
Pity that the physiotherapy place hasn’t gotten back to me yet.
I really want to consult a professional about this.
But I guess they don’t find my case interesting either.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.