The image of my mental illness being like a bone stuck in my throat has popped into my head again lately.
Unpleasant, I know, but apt. Not my fault a lot of the shit I have to express is disturbing.
Fair warning, it’s only gonna get worse.
And the thing is, for many years now I have been just living with that damn thing in there like it was a part of me.
Like there was nothing I could do to get rid of it so I just had to put up with all the different ways it makes living a normal happy life impossible.
Can’t breathe properly at all, so I am always weak. Can’t eat properly either. Always on the verge of triggering my gag reflex. Can’t communicate my feelings properly so I have to type them out instead.
All in all, it’s a rotten way to live, and it’s only occurred to me quite recently that I would be much better off if I could retch that goddamned thing up already.
And yup, that will suck. It will hurt like hell and be gross and upsetting and I might even throw up a little in the process.
Told you it would get worse.
But it would be extremely worth it if I could clear the blockage and breathe free. Rid myself of this fucking bottleneck and finally let the energies flow in and out of me without artificial inhibition.
I’ve spent so long all cramped up inside. It’s like spiritual constipation. I retain everything by default and that’s as bad emotionally as it would be physically.
There’s a hell of a lot in me that needs to go, is what I am saying.
Unfortunately, unlike with the condition’s physical counterpart, there is no way for a doctor to get a grip on it with the forceps and yank that sucker out.
Pretty much have to do that myself.
I’m working up the nerve to try.
Oops, I did it again
So, I fucked up my installation of Oblivion.
Was trying to get a very naughty adult mod working and decided to attempt a manual install of the mod. This involved copying thousands of files into a bunch of different subdirectories of the game’s main directory.
Did not work. Got the same result as when I used a mod manager to install them.
Only… there is no hitting “undo” on a file copy that huge. So now I have to figure out how to go delete all those files, or at least the ones causing the problem.
Whichever ones those are.
Either that, or I have to fix the original error. That would rock because not only would I be able to play Oblivion again, the perverted mod would be working too.
But I dunno how to do that. So I am asking around on the forums in hopes that someone can save me from myself once again.
I try so hard to be cautious and clever but time and time again I end up doing something foolishly impulsive and tripping over my own feet.
And then I have to beg someone to rescue me.
It’s a hard knock life, for me.
More after the break.
And now for this important update
Fixed the problem outlined above. Turned out the problem was that I had somehow turned on support for a mod I don’t have and that confused it.
So, yay me! I can have all the perverted fun I want now.
And that’s a lot.
Potential product idea
This could be big.
Imagine a cup with a chamber up top with a drain in the middle into the bulk of the cup, which lies below.
The idea would be that you fill the top chamber with ice cubes (or even better, shaved ice) and then pour your beverage through the ice into the chamber below, which has a built in straw you can then drink your now icy cold beverage through.
Hmmm. First problem : what is keeping your beverage cold once it’s in the chamber below? Two things : first, it’s a thermally insulated chamber, and second thing, cold air from the chamber above, which is NOT thermally insulated.
Could work, might not.
Second : does that actually result in a colder beverage than if you just drank your liquid refreshment with ice cube in it like a normal person?
I honestly don’t know. Only some good, earnest R&D with thermal engineers could find out for sure.
If so, great. People would love that. Everyone would want one.
If not, then the market is a lot smaller because it would mostly only be useful for when you want to make a warm beverage cold.
And that generally doesn’t come up a lot.
Of course, with the right marketing combined with the right level of moral bankruptcy, people might be convinced it’s colder and tastier…. via suggestion… but all we actually say in the ads is that what you get is a cold refreshing beverage at the end…
It bothers me how devious my mind is sometimes.
Finally, could this be made cheaply enough to compete with today’s disposable cups? Either as a direct replacement or a premium option? Pay fifty cents more for your drink and get it in the “cooler cup”?
Get it? It’s cooler in two ways!
I slay me.
Could be a pretty big thing, especially if one of the big fast food franchises got behind it and made it the spearhead of their summer ad blitz.
Feels good to actually write down one of my many brilliant ideas for once.
Hmmm, there was something else. I’m sure of it.
Oh right! This :
Let me clear my throat
White people in the house! *some people cheer*
Black people in the house! *exact same people cheer!*
All the people in the house! *again, the same people cheer*
Meant to link that earlier, when it would have been appropriate.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.