Feeling cranky and nihilistic at the moment.

Probably because I just woke up with a mild headache. Which is still loads better than the rather nasty sinus headache I had this morning.

Ached all the way from the tip of my nose to the core of my brain. Kept me from being able to get to sleep. And that’s one of the reasons I am so sleepy right now.

And not being able to sleep when I am sleepy always makes me cranky.

The other reason I am so sleepy is that an oopsie in my supply planning has left me sans Diet Coke today, and so I this sleepiness is partly caffeine withdrawal.

As always in these circumstances, all I really want to do is go back to sleep right now. That’s what I will probably do when I finish this bit o’ blogging, assuming I have time before it’s time to go off for the traditional Sunday shopping and Denny’s.

At least at Denny’s, I will finally get my precious Diet Coke. The trick is staying away long enough to get there.

I could order Diet Coke from 7–1 via DoorDash if I really wanted to do so. But I would feel silly doing that when I am going o get come at Denny’s soon.

This experience will remind me to be more careful securing my supply!

Basically I thought I had one more “unit” (half a 2L bottle, to or one lunch or supper’s worth, translate from FruSpeak) than I did and so I am in his pedicklement.

I haven’t started truly craving the stuff yet. A nice cold Diet Coke sounds pretty good to me right about now but not more so than usua.

By the time we get to Denny’s, I will probably be jonesing for that sweet DC. VividThoughts of cola will suddenly burst into my mind unbidden

and leave me drooling for th stuff.

Not that I have a problem. I can quit any time I want! I’ve done it dozens of times!

Maybe it’s YOU that has the problem.

All I have right now is ginger ale. Not the same. Mighty tasty, though.

Maybe I will request a quick stop at the 7-11 on the way to shopping. Grab myself a quick 1L of Diet Coke to drink as I shop to help me stay conscious.

I dunno, though. That seems like it would mean moving out of the “ha ha, I am such an addict!” category and into the “I might actually have a problem!” category.

Let’s keep it light, fellas.

Forgot to get my labwork done this weekend. Derp. Caswell ordered some. The usual stuff. A1C, vitamin B12, fasting blood sugar.

Man, fuck fasting, It’s not safe. I don’t want to go hypoglycemic then end up having to break the fast anyhow, rendering my suffering pointless, like last time.

Especially now that I am on Jardiance and hopefully have a much lower starting point.

Must. Get. Glucometer. Working.

More after the break.

Better and better

Well I didn’t make it to Denny’s. God damn it. By the time I finished shopping, I was far too sick to go on, so I had to get dropped off home.

My head was pounding painfully and I felt weak and nauseous and faint.My heart was pounding like a kettle drum and I could barely stay standing.

I am slowly getting better as I sit here but I am not out of the woods yet.

So a trip to the ER is not out of the question before the evening is through.

Yellow alert for sure. This is some seriously nontrivial stuff. Not enough for me to call 911 quite yet but it ain’t good and I will keep a real close eye out for new symptoms or signs things are gettting worse.

The phenomenon appears to be focused in the center of my forehead. That’s where my headache was this morning and that’s where I feel the pounding and throbbing. It feels like there is something swollen there that is fucking with the circulation in my head.

Which given my stroke risk would be a very bad thing.

At least I am home end resting now. And I have an appointment with Doctor Caswell tomorrow so I can talk to her about it and see how freaked out I should be right now.

I may also be dehydrated. It’s one of the potential side effects of Jardiance. Your body gets busy manufacturing urine to dump that excess blood sugar into and whaddaya know, the main ingredient of urine is water so you use up your water supply fast.

Dunno how I am going to eat. I feel quite seasick and nauseous, a suspect anything that goes down will come back up if I try to force it.

But I gotta eat. Otherwise low blood sugar might come and get me. Bad.

sigh. It’s very scary and complicated being me right now.

What I think I will do is partially lay down for a little while. Enough so my body is at rest but not so much that I fall asleep.

That would be the kind of nap I might never wake up from.

The sick part of me says, “Meh. I should be so lucky. ”

Apparenty, it’s Jewish.

I suppose I should get some emergency glucose tablets to keep on the desk someplace visible just in case my levels go too low.

Or maybe some kind of candy I don’t actually like so I am not tempted to eat it in non-emergency type circumstances.

Maybe I’m already too late. I’m fucked. I kept on fucking around and not taking care of myself until I passed the point of no return, and now it’s all downhill from here.

It’s a possibility.

And the sick part of me shouts, “Victory at last!” Ah, the thrill of self-defeat.

Hopefully I can make the world stop spinning long enough to get something to eat.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.