Still haven’t recovered from last night, though I have gotten a little better.
But whenever I stand up, the clock starts ticking I start getting dizzy and nauseous and my head starts pounding along with my heart and I feel increasingly ill till I sit my fat ass down again and rest.
This limits my options
So I had to cancel my appointment with Doctor Caswell this morning. I did not feel up to going there. Not unless I went there in a wheelchair.
Doctor Sherri was nice enough to call me instead. We chatted a bit. I told her about my problem, and she told me I should take it to the ER.
And I will,. Eventually. But right now I just don’t have the wherewithal.
Going to the ER means at least three hours of waiting around in a place with a lot of stress in the air, and that’s hard for an empath like me.
Same reason I have always hated laundromats. There’s so much boredom encrusted everywhere. Makes the old fashioned ticket based laundries seem quite appealing.
“Here. Give these back to me clean. ”
Sounds good to me.
So right now I guess I am trying to build up the nerve to go to the fucking ER.
I really don’t want to. It’s bound to be an unpleasant experience, Or at least very very boring and tedious. I’ll have to go into “Hospital mode”, where I doze the hours away, only remaining awake enough to perk up and comply when they need me to do something then it’s back to standby mode.
Or, given my problem, sitby mode.
And ERs are loud, too, which is stressful Lots of beeping, conversational murmur when it is busy, doors opening and closing. people coming and going all the time.
Can’t be helped and I am not mad at anyone for it.
But it’s still stressful for delicate little flowers like myself.
I wish I still had a working tablet. That’s what saved my sanity back when I sent 5 days in the hospital for pneumonia.
I can put up with anything as long as I got games and the Internet.
But that tablet succumbed to battery death, as they all do eventually. Sooner or later, the battery stops taking a charge.
Sometimes they can still be used when plugged directly into the wall, which is an ironic way to use a “portable” device.
Or I could finally join the era and get myself a smartphone. They can do everything a tablet can do, plus make texts and calls!
The screens are so tiny, though. Feh.
I’d rather have a tablet that can send texts and take calls. Best of both worlds.
I think I may be getting over whatever the fuck this is. Last time I got up to get food it seemed like the Badness was accumulating much slower than before.
So maybe it can wait till I get to see Doctor Chao.
I dunno. All is Chaos. All is Flux.
and I am all Fluxed up.
More after the break.
Latest reading : not good
Well. I ordered in tonight.
Mostly because I am in desperate need of a decent meal. I have eaten way too little in the last 24 hours or so and I can’t afford to do that shit now that I am on Jardiance.
Man that’s an ugly name. Even by drug name standards. It hurts just to say it.
I first heard the word when Doctor Teal from the Stroke Prevention Clinic told me to ask Docor Caswell about it.
I thought he was talking about a class of drugs : Jardians.
Ya know, there’s statins, there’s anticoagulants, and there’s jardians.
Anyhow, I ordered in. Wanted some of my beloved Meaty Marinara past from Pizza Slut. But Pizza Hut was mysteriously closed.
Closed at 8 pm on a Monday night? Not unheard of but odd.
So I ended up ordering from am unrecontructed pizza place like the ones from my childhood called Canadian 2 in 1 Pizza.
The food’s okay. Not great. I would be more disappointed if it weren’t for the nostalgia factor, because this entire order could have come directly from 1986.
And there is comfort in that. I now know who to call on when I need some food that reminds me of my childhood.
I can almost smell our friendly neighborhood Pizza Hut.
Bet THAT one would be open on a Monday night!
Now f only there was a worldwide Acadian food chain.
What, it could happen! All of Canada eats Poutine now,. You can order it aqt Burger King (but don’t , the gravy is terrible).
So maybe we could get the world eating Rapure!
What can I say – it’s become clear that I do have some of the “French temperament”. The way I can throw a fit over something like rapure ‘s propper name proves it.
And my friends know this. I can see the looks they give me when I am pitching a fit over some minor thing – probably to do with language -, a look that says, “It’s a good thing you’re cute ’cause you’re crazy,. ”
But blessings upon them, they indulge me. And I try to keep the tempests short and relatively reasonable. Get it out of my system as efficiently as possible.
These are the things one must do to fit in if one has a French temperament in Anglo culture. From the Anglo point of view, all French people are crazy.
And that includes us adorable French-Canadians.
So here have been many times in my life where I find myself surrounded by people looking at me with real concern because from their point of view, I was perfectly normal then I suddenly started ranting and raving about something most people don’t even know exists, let alone care about.
And then comes the question : why do you care so much?”.
Um. I dunno. Genetics?
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.