Would I get arrested if I answered the door nude when my groceries arrive?
Depends on what my poor delivery person thought of the view, I suppose. It would be great if it went all porn-y, with me asking them if they liked the view, and them saying yes but they bet it looked better up close, and me inviting them in.
It would certainly make for a more interesting afternoon than anything I have planned.
Of course, that is not the probable outcome. Far from it.
The most likely outcome is that I would terrorize and traumatize some minimum wage making young person with the sight of a huge naked fat dude with a beard and a huge scar up his belly and have to live with the guilt of that for the rest of my life.
So as hilarious as I find people’s freaking out over the sight of genitals like it can somehow harm them, I am a sensitive and responsible trickster and would never do that to someone just for my own amusement.
Consequences count no matter how much fun I am having. If I know it would probably hurt somebody and I do it anyway, then I am the villain, no matter whether I think they “should” be hurt at all.
So no flashing the help!
I’ve pondered living in a nudist colony.
whether I would like it or not, that is. Not actually considered it as a valid life option because quite frankly I don’t dislike being clothed enough to justify all the expense and hassle of moving to one.
Nothing is keeping me from being as naked as I want to be in my own home. And being all Avoidant and depressed and so on means I spend most of my time at home anyhow.
So really, would being able to go to doctor’s appointments and Denny’s nude mean all that much to me?
I think not.
But as a theoretical, would I enjoy life at a nudist colony?
Possibly. It depends on what my fellow nudies are like, I suppose.
If they are laid back groovy people who don’t need a lot of rules in order to get along and who are serious about letting people be themselves, then I just love it.
Those are my kind of people. Sensitive freethinkers like myself who truly cherish individual autonomy and who understand that my freedom and your freedom are the same thing, therefore if I want to be left alone to do what I want, I have to leave everyone else alone to do their own thing too.
Americans don’t seem to get that. It’s “live and let live”, not “live and let me tell you what you should be doing….”.
So if the place had a super groovy artists’ colony vibe like that, I would love it. That’s the kind of place I have always wanted to live.
Honestly, the nudity part would be, in my opinion, just to keep the uptight uncool people away by waving out scary genitalia at them.
I mean, you know me. I’m a freak. You could fuck on your front lawn for all I care. Wanna masturbate while eating your burger at the malt shop? Avoid making eye contact with anyone and you can fap or schlick away. Wanna have a no body fluids barred bisexual fuck for all on Labor Day weekend? Fine by me – as long as you set it up in sch away that nobody can stumble in by accident.
And of course, vigorously wiping down all surfaces with sanitizer on an extremely regular basis would be a must.
If I ever get rich I am totally going to make my own horny little enclave somewhere. An extremely private resort where people can truly be free and where I can do my best to fulfill my big big dream of returning innocence to sex.
Sounds like a lot of fun, dunnit?
More after the break.
There will be a slight delay
A little snafu beset me tonight.
Groceries did not show up in their appointed timespan, which was between 5 pm and 7 pm today. Hmmmm.
Checked that the phone wasn’t off the hook. That happened once. Nope! A-OK there.
So I hem and haw a bit.
You have to do both. Nobody like an unhemmed haw!
Could not think of what else might have happened. Checked my email.
A hah! Payment failed.
Yeah, that’d do it.
Cogitated for 3.17 moments then DING. “I bet some last minute payment went through on my card and then there wasn’t enough money left for the groceries!”
Yup. Checked my card’s account and the payment for my monthly DoorPass (gets me no delivery charge on a lot of places) had gone through, leaving my account around $4 short for the groceries.
So I tried to modify the existing order to eliminate one small thing. But that wasn’t doable. It was a dead order by then.
So I just did the ordering again. Slightly different stuff. It came to exactly $97.
I had $97.42 on the card.
Too close. Ditched one last thing, then put the order through.
It will now be arriving tomorrow between 3 pm and 5 pm.
And in the future, I will be a lot more careful before I set up a situation where I am spending the very last bit of money on my card and thus setting up this very situation.
One little extra charge, and *raspberry sound*.
Lesson learned, universe!
Like I told my person I am in love and some kind of relationship with, Luke, today, “things haven’t gotten any worse lately!”.
Knock on wood.
That’s about as positive as it gets in my life right now. I am on a slow train to Hell and my “good days” are just the days when the train stops at a station for a while.
No word about that CT scan yet. I think I will call them tomorrow. This is highly unusual for them and I am beginning to wonder.
Did Doctor Chao forget to contact them?
Was I suppose to contact them first and nobody told me?
My legs are dying, for fuck’s sake.
It’s kind of urgent.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.