One of the many ways in which I have a strangely chimeric personality is my position regarding reason versus intuition.
I reject the question and refuse to choose. Bloody false dichotomies.
Because I use both, together. Asking me to choose one over the other is like asking me which hand is the most important.
I’ll keep both, thanks.
This refusal to take sides is also behind my equally stubborn refusal to choose between math and science, and the arts.
I like both. I’m good at both. Those insisting one must choose are woefully narrow-minded and zero-sum. To me, they aren’t the same but they ARE equal.
This outright refusal to participate in these petty struggles is a sign of just how seriously I take my mental integrity and my eternal search for the truth.
But it’s also a sign of just how stubbornly indecisive I can be. I don’t like having to make that kind of choice and therefore I minimize the times I have to do it.
Deeper than that lies the fact that I don’t really experience people as their material selves but rather as their minds and emotions and personalities.
The only physical attribute I pay much attention to besides the minimum required for identification is voice. In a sense, the people I know IRL really ARE their voices to me.
Thus my POV is, by some measurements, transcendental. I experience and “see” people as souls and therefore I am a “higher” being.
Well I wouldn’t say THAT. You can, though. I don’t mind.
This sort of thing is why I somewhat confusingly call myself the world’s only rationalist materialist mystic poet. I haven’t the slightest doubt in my mind that had I been raised with religion, I would have become some kind of religious official.
Whether it would be the kind that wears a cassock and shakes a censer or the kind that wears blue genes and shakes a tambourine full of coins is anyone’s guess.
Probably something in between, I suppose.
But when you combine my copious amounts of empathy, my oratory prowess, my strong beliefs that spring directly from the core of my being, and my attraction to the role of therapist/healer, a religious career would have been pretty much a lock.
Makes me wish there was a religion that didn’t strike me as utterly full of crap.
Guess I will just have to start my own. Religion as a phenomenon is long due for a cleansing firestorm of reform anyhow. Something that will drive out all the old, defective, destructive beliefs that outlived their purposes by millennia and make room for new. healthy, LIVING beliefs that actually serves the people’s needs to take their place.
Sometimes all you can do is preserve the good, toss out the rest, and start over.
It’s funny to imagine myself becoming a messiah-like figure via my secular sermons and having to repeatedly assert that I am not a holy man… which would only convince people that I am, indeed, a holy man.
I picture myself as a grumpy saviour snarling. “God damn it, stop worshipping me and do what I tell you to do already!”
Could I be a secular messiah, do you think?
More after the break.
Eating cold hamburgers
Yup. That’s what I am doing.
See, last night, I woke up from a nap around 8 pm and was quite hungry, so after finding out that my first two choices were closed (grr), I ordered some A&W.
The Mozza burger, of course. That’s my second favorite thing at A&W, and most of them don’t serve the Whistle Dog any more.
And even when they do, I hate having to explain the concept of “instead of relish, onions” to people five times before it penetrates their work-mode brains.
You’d think I was telling them to put the baby in the fireplace. One gal looked actively terrified by the whole conversation, like I’d just handed her a note telling her I was heavily armed and she BETTER get my order RIGHT.
Now where was I? Oh yeah, cold hamburgers.
So I ordered the A&W.,,, then I heard Joe’s voice in the living room and suddenly remembered that he had yesterday off and we had already agreed to have McDonald’s in the living room at 9 pm.
Annoyed grunt! I am such a flake.
It arrived, of course, just I was going to the DoorDash website to cancel the order. So I got my order anyhow.
What could I do? I was stuck with it.
So I had to tell Joe to just stick it in the fridge so I could have it for supper tonight.
And I had intended to heat it up before eating my burgers, but then I panicked when I was in the kitchen and in pain from my legs and got all confused, so I just hauled the whole order to my room and ate the damned burgers cold.
Such is my life. I’m an odd and fragile creature, like some crash landed alien who is not really fit for life on Earth.
Only there’s no creepy government agency waiting to stick me in a lab and experiment on me when I finally get tired of running.
I’m not saying there shouldn’t be. They could learn a lot from me.
But as it stands, nobody wants me. The fools.
At least my package has arrived. Get this : I ordered an ergonomic cushion for my computer this morning and it arrived today.
Man I love living in the future.
You have to understand that I am from Prince Edward Island, where for most of my life getting something within a month of ordering it was lightning fast delivery.
So to get something on the same day as ordering it blows my mind. The only way it could get here faster is if they teleported it.
I haven’t tried the thing yet because my delivery dude left the package at the entrance to my building not the entrance to this apartment and that’s too far for me to go on my own. I don’t have that kind of mileage in me any more.
Not without serious risk of a fall, anyhow.
Ah, here’s my roomies with the package. I will regale you with how it goes soon.
And I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.