I should get in a lot of trouble for this one, which means I won’t.
Like I say in the vid, I am sure I had a bunch more (tongue in cheek (so to speak)) advantages of men over women in mind at one point but when the camera was rolling I could only think of three.
And the third one’s kind of weak.
Now I didn’t truly mean this as a “recruitment” attempt. For me, it was more about poking fun at cultural assumptions by getting people to question their life patterns a teeny tiny bit.
I am sure a lesbian could make a similar “sales pitch” and I bet it would be hilarious.
I would be highly surprised if my words “converted” anyone. Sexual imprinting is nearly impossible to change and so you’re either into dudes or you aren’t.
After all, you don’t become straight, gay, bi, or whatever, you just find out. Nobody recruits you into it. You can’t be talked into wanting something so fundamental to our identity as our preferred gender any more than someone can talk you in liking a food you think is gross.
In fact, the whole notion that young men can be “recruited” into homosexuality strikes me as quaint and adorable.
“So you’re saying that you think one night of gay sex with me is so damn good it can make your previously completely heterosexual son into a cock loving flaming homo with no interest in women just like that? Well I am flattered, honey, but I’m not that good. Or is it gay sex itself that you think has this magic power? Say, just how amazing do you think gay sex is, anyway?”
I mean, just follow the reasoning. It’s clearly implied.
Today’s been another standard day for me. Video games and video making and blogging and hanging out on BlueSky and so forth and so on ad nauseum ad infinitum.
That’s Latin for “keeps going until you get sick of it”.
My digestive system has been making some ominously loud and moist noises and that has me a little freaked out.
Stuff like that can herald very troubled seas to come for me. But I have no other symptoms. My stomach feels fine, as does my low GI tract.
My appetite is a little lower than usual but it’s well within normal fluctuations. No ominous ceasing of bowel needs either.
That can REALLY herald bad times ahead and yet it’s so easy to miss because it’s something that doesn’t happen.
Then I start feeling ill and suddenly I’m all, “Wait…. when was the last time I pooped?”.
If it was more than 24 hours ago, yellow alert. Be cautious. Don’t eat anything that might stir things up.
If it was more than 36 hours, uh oh. Red alert. Time to take active measures to get things moving again, like aggressive hydration, eating a banana, jostling my torso about some, or maybe even, God forbid, “pushing”.
As an IBS sufferer, I am never ever supposed to try to “push” things along, If it’s not moving, trying to force it will only introduce chaos and tension into the system and quite possibly set of a chain of events that will echo within me for ours making me miserable.
But, ya know, desperate times.
Otherwise life is normal, which means it’s been another cookie cutter day of ding the same old things as always.
I might not be ready to jump off this stupid train just yet, but I am definitely eyeing the bushes beside the tracks and waiting for the train to slow down for a curve.
More after the break.
No such thing as a good alarm clock
There’s never going to be an alarm clock that isn’t obnoxious and irritating because its very function is to force you to wake up and that’s inherently a very rude task.
Maybe these “dawn’s early light” type smart alarms that raise the illumination level in your room slowly and in accordance with your body’s metrics might be able to do the trick. They, at least, don’t jar you awake with a loud and/or irritating noise.
But I can’t guarantee you won’t still resent being woken up even if it’s by the gentlest of sunbeams. That’s just the nature of the beast.
For as any sleep medicine specialist will tell you, if you need to be woken up by an alarm, you’re not getting enough sleep. Clearly your body and brain need more than you are getting. If left to regulate themselves, you would naturally wake up whenever you were actually done sleeping according to your body and your brain.
But to be a modern human is to live by the clock, and not your circadian one. And the thing is, even billionaires have to live this way to some extent. Whether it’s your tee time or teatime or when the markets open and close, some aspects of your life are going to run on a timetable of their own and I am fairly certain that if you are a product of modern time-bound society you would find it quite hard to regulate your life any other way.
I know I would. For someone unemployable and pathologically idle like myself, I live by the clock to a degree some would find quite surprising.
The thing is, I’ve tried the alternative. Eat when I’m hungry, sleep when I’m tired, drink when I’m thirsty, and so on.
In other words I tried “listening to my body”, as the 70’s health gurus said.
Turns out my body, like the rest of me, has no idea what’s good for it.
It felt like it was “working” at first as my life did start feeling more relaxed, but soon what I ended up with was a thick mental haze that made concentration nearly impossible and a feeling of being entirely lost in time.
What time is it? Is it day or night? AM or PM? I had no idea.
That’s why I live by the clock now.
Turns out I need it.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.