First, the vid of the day.
Brace yourself, because it’s pretty exciting.
So yeah, my tootsies are burning. I’ve taken some Tylenol and that definitely helped some but they still feel like I tried the whole “walking on fire” thing and failed.
Ow ow ow, etc.
Dunno WTF is up with that and I suppose if it persists, I am going to have to take it to god damned Urgent Care.
Luckily, walking doesn’t make much difference to the pain, so I can do my event at the Kinsmen Adult Center tomorrow, all things being equal.
But I sure am tired of random shit going wrong with my health.
I also have Wound Care tomorrow, so I can ask my nurse about it. Like I say in the vid, I don’t see any obvious signs of the source of the pain, but the nurse might see something I do not.
Lord know I’m not exactly observant.
I missed the gang at Kinsmen last week. There was no get-together last Tuesday because it was a stat holiday. I missed my one day of being vaguely normal.
With the help of the almighty Xanax, hallowed be its name, of course.
Anxiety is such a bitch. My own nervous and endocrine systems are against me. That’s where my extremely overactive alarm system resides and I wish I could just short circuit that shit forever because it’s doing way more harm than good.
Still, it’s good to be able to perceive it as a meaningless malfunction I am temporarily stuck with as opposed to thinking it represents any kind of truth.
It’s just neurochemical bullshit my body does because it got into a self-reinforcing cycle of hypervigilance as as result of my depression and isolation, and now I have to live with the absurd result.
When I am strong enough, I am going to just muscle the fucking anxiety out of my way so I can finally get on with life.
Or not. Maybe I will be exactly how I am right now until the day I die. If not worse.
There’s a cheerful thought.
Admittedly, I’m not feeling very good today. In addition to the foot thing, I feel worn out and tired and physically depressed.
God, I hope I am not coming down with something. That would fucking figure. It would be like the universe is conspiring to keep me away from Kinsmen.
I definitely don’t feel well. Hopefully this is just another of my mysterious transient health issues and will go away when I have had enough rest and/or hydration.
God, I can feel my hypochondria trying to creep in. Maybe I should take a Xanax. That would head it off at the pass real quick.
I suppose it could be seasonal allergy related. Maybe I have some kind of histamine activated system wide inflammatory response shit going on, I dunno. I have been sneezing now and then, and inflammation would account for the burning foot thing.
Once more I tell myself I have to buy some damn antihistamines already so I can get this shit under control, but I know I will probably forget or be too lazy or indecisive.
I did manage to make a decision today. I bought a game called Marvel Midnight Suns, which has excellent reviews and promises to be a Marvel based deck building game.
But not just deck building. You can also build patios, porches, and verandas!
Ha ha ha. It’s $12 and if I don’t like it, I can return it, so it’s not THAT big of a decision, but at least I acted on the Steam Fall Sale before all those bargains disappeared.
And I am proud of myself for that.
After all, I missed the Summer Sale entirely!
More after the break.
Still not good
I feel somewhat better than I did earlier today but I still don’t exactly feel great
So the question of my participation in the Kinsmen activities tomorrow remains open. Maybe I will be over all of this mishigas by then, who knows.
Another attack of my flu like symptoms. Must be that time of the month.
Tried out Midnight Suns. So far so good. There’s been a lot of cutscenes, which can get annoying, but amazingly enough, the writing is actually quite funny in places, so I will allow it for now.
And there’s lots of people like the short haired military version of Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel, Iron Man of course, Blade, Doctor Strange, the Scarlet Witch, a character from the MCU called The Caretaker (sadly, not played by Kris Kristofferson this time) and various other Marvel heavy hitters.
Quite literally, for at least some of them.
System seems pretty simple so far. You get five cards a turn and you can play three of them, so a certain amount of prioritization will be needed. There is technically a spatial aspect, and you can use stuff in the environment for attacks (like, say, throwing a boulder at a bad guy’s head), which spices things up a tad.
Ergo so far it’s a keeper. I am making a very deliberate concentrated effort to not let my high strung anxious nature make me flip out and return the damn thing out of sheer nerves. I am going to give it a solid chance.
I have got to tame my rogue energies and get them all moving in the same direction instead of my mind going madly off in all directions all the damn time.
And that means continuing my efforts to integrate my long neglected id into my consciousness. I have lived in the numbing grip of intellectualism for far too long and I am long overdue for a spiritual tune-up to bring things into balance.
Hopefully without me having to go completely insane and/or become a raging impacted arsehole in the process.
But if I gotta, well….. I hope the world can forgive me in the long run.
I don’t wanna go there, but that might be my only way out.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.