What I am not writing about

I was going to write about this whole incident, but I can’t. It makes me too damned angry to even think about being able to write about it. That makes me feel like a bit of a failure as a writer, but writers are human beings too, and sometimes something is simply far too painful to write about.

Maybe when I have more years of writing experience under my proverbial belt, I will be able to take even something like that into myself and retain the ability to remain articulate about it, and fulfill my duty as a public articulator of opinion. But that day is not today.

And it’s probably not going to be tomorrow, either.

So let us stick with lighter news today, and move on for now to happier themes.

Like, how about seven minutes of completely kickass science fiction made just for the hell of it?

This Is Not A Trailer

That is the only bad thing about it… despite all appearances, that is not a trailer for an upcoming movie. That is the whole movie, right there. Although I would not be surprised if someone offers the makers a movie deal just based on how good that looks and the quality of the acting. I thoroughly enjoyed it and so, according to the YouTube comments, did a lot of other people.

That is the sort of thing I would notice, were I a venture capitalist.

Admittedly, the actual plot is corny as hell. Oh no, the perfect killing machine designed by evil scientists starts to remember its humanity and kicks some ass. Been there, done that, a million times.

But that doesn’t really matter because it’s just so damned well done.

And the best thing is, it was done just to do it. The people involved have done other work in big Hollywood moves, but Archetype, they did just for the hell of it.

And what do you know, when you let creative people do what they want, you get great stuff.

If only the money people were capable of understanding that. But they see the world through an entirely different set of lenses.

Girl Scouts United

Next up, we have this fun little story about some Girl Scouts who did not take the theft of their Girl Scout Cookie money lying down.

Instead, they beat on their assailants some, and while the thieves still escaped with around $200 in Girl Scout cookie money, at least they have the painful humiliation of taking a few hits from some nine year old girls first.

Of course, the obvious question that screams from this story is : what kind of a piece of shit steals money from Girl Scouts? How low in the human dignity hierarchy do you have to be to even consider stealing Girl Scout cookie money? How badly do you want to get beaten when you are caught, and then beaten again (and worse) when they find out “what you’re in for” in prison?

And well, there is definitely the possibility that these girls somehow lost their cookie money and came up with this exciting story of derring-do in order to cover it and not get into trouble, and it just snowballed out of control from there.

After all, the Salem Witch Trials started with some little girls stories, too.

Still, I hope it’s true.

How To Offend

Then there is this fun little guide to offensive hand gestures from all around the world.

Of course, I am not recommending you actually use any of them. I offer the link purely because I find it absolutely fascinating as an avid student of humanity and all its marvelous expressions.

I had no idea there was such a wealth of ways to be rude without words in the world. And I am sure the list is far from exhaustive. But even so, the sampling offered is rich and various.

Like this one :

Write-off

Meaning: I am ignoring you
Used in: Greece

The literal translation of st’arxidia mou, the phrase that accompanies this gesture, is “I write it on my testicles.” And while there may well be people who, out of a strange psychological compulsion or simply boredom, actually write on their testicles, here the threat is simply metaphorical and tells the subject you’re ignoring him. One needn’t possess testicles to use the gesture, which is employed by men and women alike.

I am impressed at how well developed such a gesture is. Outside Greece, if we want to say we are ignoring someone, we don’t involve out genitals at all. We just turn our back on them, or look away, or plug our ears and say “La la la, I can’t hear you, la la la!”

Clearly, for the Greeks, those are not nearly specific or testicular enough.

But my favorite one is this one :

Idiota

Meaning: Are you an idiot?
Used in: Brazil

A South American gesture indicating stupidity, this requires improv skills and an actorly flair. To perform, put your fist to your forehead while making a comical overbite. The gesture is most effective when accented with multiple grunts. When executed correctly, you will be rewarded with appreciative laughs, though not, perhaps, from your subject.

I figure this is the equivalent of the North American “Well, DUUUUUH”, but with far more of a Latin American flair. It’s like you suddenly do an impression of Hagar the Horrible’s best friend while making Tim Allen noises.

You have to admit, that really puts some oomph into your sarcasm.

I can only imagine that it makes people from the countries neighboring Brazil think Brazilians are, well, kinda dickish.

End of File

Well, that’s it from me for today. I managed to make it through this blog entry and come out of it in a good mood, despite the terrible news and the fact that the wind is making all kinds of spooky sounds outside my window tonight.

Off now to have a nap and possibly weird spooky dreams. Seeya tomorrow after therapy, folks!

Leave a Reply