Basically, it’s because we don’t know shit about probabilities and it makes us superstitious.

We all do it, or at the very least, all of us who do not live in small towns that are smug about how safe they are. We leave the home, we lock the door. To do anything else is simply unthinkable. If we come home to find the door unlocked, we panic. Maybe there’s a burglar in there RIGHT NOW!

This is true even if we clearly remember neglecting to lock the door on the way out. We are convinced that if we do not lock our doors every time, we WILL get robbed.

And if we find that open door and it was someone else who forgot to lock it, we freak out like that person had left a loaded gun in your child’s playpen. You idiot, they could have robbed us blind! And if they forgot to lock it at night, it’s even worse. They could have murdered us in our sleep.

Some people even lock the doors while they are home, and awake. That is how bad this paranoia has gotten.

But what is it we think is going to happen? What are we so afraid of? What exactly is the sequence of events we think will lead to us being burgled if we don’t lock our doors?

First off, how does a potential thief even know your door is unlocked? Unless they were there at the exact moment when you left and watched intently to see if you locked the door or not, the only way to find out that your door is unlocked is to go around checking doors, and that kind of thing tends to attract attention.

And what is the thief doing in your neighborhood anyhow? Despite what we seem to think, there are not gangs of criminals continuously circulating every neighbor like hungry wolves, just waiting for the first sign of weakness so they can strip your home barer than a well picked carcass.

And really, while nobody wants to lose their hard earned stuff, it’s not the end of the world.

Sure, breaking and entering does legit happen. But like all crime, it is extremely rare. You are far more likely to get in an auto accident than be the victim of random crime, and yet we act and think like our homes and our possessions are under constant threat of being violated.

Where does this superstitious belief in personal danger come from? And can we free ourselves of it? Should we?

I think this belief has several sources. The first and most obvious is the media. Crime might not pay, but crime sells. We are constantly bombarded with exaggerated stories of crime. Some of these stories are true, but even they are distorted for maximum impact by a sensationalistic news media.

But the vast majority of them are fictional. And here’s the funny thing about human nature : if you see enough of something, even if you know it’s fictional, you start to believe it is true. Sure, an individual instance of fictional crime has a tiny impact compared to the real thing, but if you multiply that tiny impact by thousands of instances of seeing crime in some form or another in the media, you can see how it can seep into the public consciousness and convince you that crime is rampant.

But why does that world view appeal to us? What is the draw of crime stories? What would cause us to actually prefer the version of reality in which crime threatens everyone constantly?

For one, it’s more exciting than the boring truth that most of us lead extremely safe and secure lives free of and serious danger, and while that is very good and a monumental and unparalleled achievement in human civilization, it can also get pretty boring, and thinking we are surrounded by crime and mayhem livens things up a little.

I think it goes deeper than that, though. I think there is a deep animal need that belief in crime’s prevalence satisfies. We are not programmed for safety. We are programmed to be vigilant, alert, and ready to defend ourselves at a moment’s notice. That is how our predecessors survive. The alert, paranoid, vigilant cave dwellers survived the night, and the ones who let they guard down were tomorrow’s sabertooth shit.

This is so deeply ingrained in us that we cannot handle the idea of actual safety. Part of us, at least, has to believe that there is something out there in the darkness, ready to take us down, or the world simply stops making sense to us. So when the world refuses to provide us with real wolves at the door, we are compelled to invent them.

That is the real force behind our strong cultural belief in crime. The simple act of locking our doors satisfies the part of us that cannot handle the concept of safety. It is also the force behind scapegoating, be it individuals or groups. We simply have to believe that there is a threat out there, one we can confront and control.

We are incapable of believing anything else.

It doesn’t matter that you could probably leave your door unlocked for a decade without anything bad happening. Locking that door is a ritual, not a practical measure. It is a bit of modern magic that makes us feel safe against a danger that lies mostly within our semi-civilized monkey brains.

I claim no exemption from this. I would find it wrenchingly difficult to knowingly walk away from an empty apartment with an unlocked door. I’m the smartass quoting statistics and saying how irrational our attitudes are, and yet I share those exact same attitudes and can’t imagine being otherwise.

And for the record, I am not saying that we should all stop locking our doors. The risk is tiny, but so is the effort. It’s like getting meteor insurance for a dollar a year. Sure, you will probably never us it, but it’s so cheap that you might as well.

I just want people to understand that what they are doing is based on superstition, not reality, and while locking your door at night is one thing, basing your worldview and your politics on these imaginary demons is another.

I will talk to all you nice people again tomorrow.