{WARNING : The following is all about Canadian politics and today’s election. If you are an American, I politely relieve you from all obligations of pretending you care. Go back to celebrating Osama Bin Laden’s death. You have earned it after all these years. }
Well that fucking sucked.
Canada, I am shocked and disappointed with you. I cannot believe that forty percent of the people in this country voted for that smug douche Stephen Harper and his horror cabal of Conservatives. Never before has his total contempt for Canada and democracy been more blatant, and yet, you rewarded him with a majority government. You think he was an insufferable cunt before this election? That’s how he acted when he had a minority government. Now that he has a majority government, that prick will be unstoppable. Only the constant threat of the other parties banding together to kick his ass out has restrained him so far. Now, we are completely stuck with this shithead for the next four years or so, and God knows what he will do to this country in that time.
I was, and am, completely unprepared for this. Somehow, amidst all this talk about the “Orange Tide”[1] of NDP support sweeping the nation, it had never occurred to me, even in my darkest moments, that Harper would get the unfettered majority that he has craved for so long. I really thought that the worst case scenario that we faced was him retaining a minority and shaking his fist in impotent rage at all the puny mortals who keep blocking his plans to turn Canada into the USA. Somehow, the thought that he would get the majority and be able to ruin this nation with glee and without restraint was simply far too horrible to even accept into my consciousness.
It was unthinkable. And now, it’s happened.
Turns out, that “Orange Tide” of NDP support was just the perfect thing for Stephen Harper to surf to his majority government. All this upsurge on the left must have scared the old people something fierce (after all, we on the left do things like protect their pensions, commies that we are) and so they showed up in droves to put their guy into this cozy majority position and keep us all from going to the Kaiser.
A fellow could really get to hate old people some days. I know this is a petty and unworthy thought, but sometimes I think there should be some sort of mental competency test for voting. If you sincerely beleive three things which are clearly and demonstrably and objectively provable as false, you don’t get to vote. Or maybe we take your vote as a special Senior’s Voting Station, then just don’t count their votes. Let them think they voted. It will make them happy without ruining the country. Everybody wins!
I know, I know. That’s evil. I’m not saying it is a good idea. It’s just the dark thoughts of an angry lefty.
I am in such a dark mood, not even this happening to me could cheer me up.
Right now, Canada’s only hope of avoiding a gruesome fate lies in the unpleasant subject of voter fraud.
Normally, that’s not the sort of thing I would even be thinking about. After all, nobody likes a sore loser and it’s not like Harper just barely squeaked in.
But the man’s campaign manager has five convictions for election fraud, everyone knows how badly he wanted a majority and how little respect he has for democracy and Canada, and now with these reports of “somebody” in key swing ridings calling people up and falsely and fraudulently telling them their polling station had been changed to one an hour away has got to make people suspicious.
My fear is that the one person in the best position to really press an investigation into these matters, Jack Layton, will be so completely flushed with his “victory” in giving Canada its first-ever NDP-led Official Opposition that he will completely hand-wave away all these reports and miss the critical window when eople might be open to revisiting the results of this election, and then we will be stuck with fraudulent results.
Having the NDP surge into more power than they have ever had before, only to have it be completely meaningless because the Forces of Evil hold a majority and don’t even have to listen to anyone any more… that is cruel even for you, Universe.
Fuck you, Stephen Harper. I hope you choke and die.
- Gets your clothes clean with the power of citrus!↵
I was looking at my wall and I re-read a quote I have taped to it. It’s from a 1983 speech by Neil Kinnock. It seems to apply here.
“If Margaret Thatcher is re-elected as prime minister on Thursday, I warn you. I warn you that you will have pain—when healing and relief depend upon payment. I warn you that you will have ignorance—when talents are untended and wits are wasted, when learning is a privilege and not a right. I warn you that you will have poverty—when pensions slip and benefits are whittled away by a government that won’t pay in an economy that can’t pay. I warn you that you will be cold—when fuel charges are used as a tax system that the rich don’t notice and the poor can’t afford. I warn you that you must not expect work—when many cannot spend, more will not be able to earn. When they don’t earn, they don’t spend. When they don’t spend, work dies. I warn you not to go into the streets alone after dark or into the streets in large crowds of protest in the light. I warn you that you will be quiet—when the curfew of fear and the gibbet of unemployment make you obedient. I warn you that you will have defence of a sort—with a risk and at a price that passes all understanding. I warn you that you will be home-bound—when fares and transport bills kill leisure and lock you up. I warn you that you will borrow less—when credit, loans, mortgages and easy payments are refused to people on your melting income. If Margaret Thatcher wins on Thursday—
“I warn you not to be ordinary. I warn you not to be young. I warn you not to fall ill. I warn you not to get old.”
Good joke in footnote!