I don’t normally talk astrology in this space – despite being somewhat of an expert in it – but I Googled one of my planets and the article I found described me so well that I just had to blog about it.

So if you are some kind of hardcore pseudo-rationalist who finds the very idea that astrology could be useful for anything at all offensive, feel free to skip this blog entry so you can retreat back into those pack of unreasoned prejudices you deign to call “reason” that assure you that you can achieve a state of reason without having to actually think about anything, have a happy life having to live with yourself till you die.

Ahem. Anyhow, on to the article.

The first line to really grab me was this one :

“They tend to go with the flow. They prefer to let life just happen to them.”

I’ve always felt like that. Like I want to just improvise my way through life and see what happens. But I have always felt intensely guilty about that feeling because it really does not jibe with my sun sign Taurus personality. Of course you can’t have anything life you want by just making things up as you go, says Taurus. You have to think and plan and work hard and make sound decisions based on the facts as they are. Pragmatically.

But in my heart of hearts, I dream of a life where all I have to do is indulge my whims and follow my feelings without a thought of the future at all.

But in my case, I would have to become very wealthy before that could happen. Or at the very least, I would have to feel far, far more secure than I do right now.

Then this passage jumped out at me :

They do well intellectually, but they may have problems dealing with physical and practical challenges.

Holy SHIT does that describe my life. I’ve got wizard level intellectual skills but the simplest of practical and physical challenges become huge obstacles in my life and I am constantly tripping over myself to get pretty simple things done.

And that is even less compatible with being a Taurus. Taurus is a sign of practicality and pragmatism and I want to be the sort of strong, competent, capable person that represents the Taurus ideal.

But that’s probably never going to happen. And I will have to learn to live with that.

It’s really the only practical choice.

They need a lot of affection. Without it, they feel sex is cold and emotionless. They need an emotional connection to their partner to be fulfilled. Even better, they are ecstatic when they also have a spiritual connection with their partner.

Amen and hallelujah. I need so much affection. Whoever wants to be my Man of Life will have to be prepared to give me lots of hugs and cuddles. I need a lot of physical reassurance. I can only hope that if I got enough physical affection, I would become more secure and trusting and therefore my appetite for snuggles would cool down to something a little more reasonable.

But right now, I am a starving man desperate for attention. I’ve been starving for affection for my entire life, even though when I was a kid, I didn’t know it. It was only when I hooked up with the online furry community and had a chance to explore myself via a furry persona that I realized that I have wanted to be touched and to touch back for my entire life.

I get the feeling that I did not get held a lot as a baby.

And lordy, do I need an emotional connection for sex. The idea of sex with no emotional connection disgusts me to the core. I kind of envy people who can have attachment-free sex with total strangers and not feel abandoned afterwards. But I need to have some kind of emotional connection or it’s just not sex to me.

It’s just glandular secretions interacting.

It need not be a really deep emotional connection, though. At least I don’t think so, I have not had the chance to explore that kind of thing yet. I can imagine myself meeting someone compatico and ended up in bed with them having fun shortly thereafter. But I would have to feel connected first. To feel like me and this person are communicating at a deep level, even if the language being spoken is that of lust.

And yeah, if there’s a spiritual connection – one that makes me feel like we’re soulmates, that we’re compatible on a deep level that includes values and understandings – the sex would be off the frigging charts good.

Because then I could surrender myself completely to the act, and achieve the kind of deep intimacy that I crave.

Because I am all about the intimacy.

They are attracted to those who need their care and compassion.

Well… yes and no.

Were I a stronger, healthier, more secure person, the answer would be hell yeah. But as I stand right now, I would be more likely to be attract to someone who can give me the care and compassion I need.

It’s true, though, that I am attracted to those who need my help. I would even go so far as to say I feel compelled to help those who need me. As in, I feel like that’s my role, my job, my purpose, and so when the time comes, everything else becomes unimportant compared to my desire to be there for someone who needs me.

In doing so, I am giving others what I wish to receive myself. What I wish I had received oh so many times in my life.

As far as I know, there is no erotic component to that, although if I feel like sex with someone who cares about them is what this person needs, I might make that part of the treatment program, so to speak.

And my need to help others runs very deep. I might just find myself falling in love along the way. I might have a hidden Florence Nightingale side after all.

Well, that’s my commentary on my Mars in Pisces self.

Who knows, that site might be just as accurate for the rest of my chart!

If so, expect sequels.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.