Don’t worry, this one is short.

It’s short because there isn’t much of a plot. I’m there, she’s there, we are both SUPER eager and horny and racing to get it on. I even help her out of her jeans and her super cute purple-pink panties.

Once we are both nekkid, she more or less pounces on my erection with her mouth and…. then the goddamed dream ends.

This is frustratingly familiar. Nearly all my erotic dreams end just when I am getting to the good stuff.

Could it be more of that goddamned intensity gating?

Man that shit has got to go.

Frustration aside, this was certainly my most vivid and real-feeling hetero sex dream ever. And I was as raring to go as she was. I was really looking forward to exploring her body as she enjoyed mine.

And not in some intellectual curiosity way, or just a spiritual longing for a new kind of experience.

I was horny as hell and harder than a railroad spike.

As a result, the idea of sex with a real woman in the real world seems like more of a real possibility than ever before.

If I found a willing lady, I would be down to get up, get in, get it on, and get off in a heartbeat.

I wonder if I posted an ad somewhere that said “gay guy looking for first time with lady”, if I would get any offers.

If I was them, I would find the idea intriguing. Certainly if I saw an ad that said “lesbian looking for first time with guy but because of issues it has to be a gay guy”, I would sign right up.

We’d be each other’s first times! How cool would that be?

And neither of us would know what the hell we were doing. It would be hilariously inept. I’d want to tape it.

Anyhow, the point is, I drift closer to being truly bisexual every day. If anything, it seems like the process is picking up speed, and I could not be happier about that.

Now I get to not have the courage to get sex from BOTH sexes!

Seriously though, if I get into chicks, it will really expand my choices in terms of pornography. Don’t get me wrong, there is a ton of gay stuff out there. I mean duh. There is probably more of it, in fact, than is statistically supported by our percentage of the population.

But that”s because we are all men, and men are pigs.

Just kidding. Mostly. I could go on and on about how much of gay culture stems from the fact that it involves men only and therefore does not get slowed down by women as gatekeepers, but that’s for another day,.

The real reason is probably that gay porn is the only safe (ish) way to express your gay sexuality in much of the world.

And that’s sad.

Back to me fucking women, maybe.

As I snarkily implied about myself earlier, my main barrier to sex with man, woman, or understanding livestock is courage.

I have no doubt that I could find a willing partner if I were not so shy and scared of the world in general and people in particular. I mean, there’s apps for that kind of thing. And I know that I can be very charming and charismatic and appealing to people.

But I’s too a-skeered.

I hope I will get over that some day. There is a whole world of humptastic opportunities waiting to be explored just waiting for me to stop lingering in the shadows and jump right in to the deep end.

By the way, none of this vagina sex talk means I am any less into men. I still love da cock and want one in every orifice, please.

Right now, I am incredibly curious about hetero PIV sex, and that makes me rather eager to try it, whereas gay sex to me is old hat,

By the way, have you ever had gay sex with an old hat? It’s amazing.

In order to overcome my sexual shyness, I would need some kind of bridge. Something that would make it easier for me by making it at least a little bit easier to cross that mighty void between me and others. Maybe some sort of talisman I could cling to in order to feel safe, or some trustworthy person to introduced me to a scene so that I would not freak out because I didn’t know anyone there and bolt.

Social anxiety makes life so god damned complicated.

Without a bridge, I would have to activate my kamikaze mode, where I just throw myself into the deep end by convincing myself that I didn’t give a fuck what the consequences were going to be, I was going to go do the thing with great zeal and gusto and fuck everything else.

That would entail doing something I think I have mentioned here before, namely deciding I don’t give a shit if I am being obnoxious, pushy, arrogant, demanding, or just way, way too much.

That’s just who I am, baby. If I am to activate all that latent charisma and magnetism, I can’t worry about shit like whether I am being obnoxious.

After all, that’s how I am as Fruvous. And some people think he is obnoxious and pushy and all the rest.

But a lot of other people think he’s amazing and delightful, and what the hell, I have never been the sort to need everyone to like him.

I only need enough people to keep me from getting bored and lonely.

Admittedly, that’s not a small number of people. Fruvous has a LOT of friends. He is way more extroverted than I am.

But what he is represents what I can be. He is, in many ways, my idealized self, and so if he can do it, so can I.

It’s just a little trickier for me because I’m a 6’1″ 300 lb fat dude and he’s a cute little floofy foxy thing.

But the real power is in the power of personality, and that’s one thing we both have in spades.

So who knows. Maybe I will get out there and sow my VERY ripe wild oats some time in the future.

Until thing, I will just keep on fingering my butthole.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.