Discovered this song recently, and now it seems to be popping up everywhere.

It was totally a case of my suddenly remembering the first part of the chorus, looking up the song on Youtube, deciding I really liked it, and grabbing it.

All perfectly spontaneous. I hadn’t heard the song since it was on the radio way back when. And I hadn’t given the song much thought since then.

And yet, ever since I downloaded it, I keep stumbling across it. It will be on the radio when I am in Joe’s car, or in the background of some random Youtube clip, or someone will refer to it on Facebook.

And it can’t be the “once your friend buys a white car you see white cars everywhere” effect. It’s far too specific a phenomenon for that.

So once again, I appear to have tuned into the zeitgeist without even knowing it. It was time for this song to emerge from people’s memories, and so it did.

And I was part of that. For once in my life, I was surfing the same wave as other people.

And that brings me back to that thing I was talking about in this space a while ago : how is it that socially isolated dreamers like myself can create art that powerfully resonates with people when we barely seem to be on the same planet?

Where are we going when we go gathering wool by moonlight?

Perhaps the isolation and the tuning in are related. Perhaps one thing about a creative dreamer like myself is that we want to listen to that inner voice so badly that we distance ourselves from others and their emotional noise so we can hear it clearly.

That’s a vast oversimplification, of course, but I think I am on the right track. There are a lot of reasons for us sensitive artistic types to stay far from the madding crowd.

All that madding, for one.

The line from the song I like most is :

It’s hard to say I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

The moment I heard those words, I identified with them. My dreams are always bursting at the seams. Sometimes it seems like I have so many dreams stuffed in there that I could sleep for a thousand years and not catch up.

On the prosaic level, what I am talking about is my backlog of REM sleep. Presumably, somewhere in my mind is the vault where I keep all those medium term memories that I have never gotten around to processing because my sleep is so crappy.

Makes me wish I could just flush them out of my mind and start over.

But that’s the old, limited, entirely too serious way of thinking. I am trying to learn to not just use my more poetic and mystical side but to embrace it.

And on that level, I am full of words unsaid, dreams undreamt, and thoughts so grand and amazing that the world would gasp at their sheer brilliance if they could only escape my head and shine for them.

I’m working on it.

Lately i have felt that the visionsary state of mind, otherwise known as the waking dream or transcendent consciousness or whatever, is very close to the surface of my mind and I don’t know what to make of that.

IIt’s hard to convey exactly what I am talking about. Maybe you have to be a dreamer yourself to get it, I don’t know.

But have always indentified with prophets, seers, soothsayers,and so on. There are times when my imagination is so strong that it seems realer than reality in the same way that dreams do sometimes.

I don’t actually hallucinate, but I do enter a mindset where the inner voice drowns out outer reality on an emotional level.

I suppose that’s what makes me a highly imaginative dreamer and not an outright psychotic. I can still tell the difference, and the dreams never jump the barrier between my imagination and my active consciousness and get confused with reality.

At times like these, however, I feel like that barrier is mighty thin. I feel so hot that my mind feels like it’s on fire and I am sure that’s not simply a matter of air temperature.

It feels like if I try to imagine something too hard, I will faint and go on some kind of wild hallucinatory dream trip. Wake up later covered in sweat, dazed and drained and with strange symbols floating in my mind and a desperate urge to enlighten humanity and tell them our space brothers are on their way to save us all.

Wouldn’t that be nice.

Thsi state of mind is somewhat stressing my ability to cling tenaciously to reality. Perhaps part of why I became such a hardcore rational materialist is a need to keep my mind from floating away into the sky and never coming down to reality again.

Like I have said here before, that’s one of my worst nightmares. To have my ties to the real world finally snap from all the strain of keeping my enormous zeppelin of a mind from tearing loose of its moorings and getting lost forever in my own mind.

The prospect terrifies me. I have no illusions about what happens when you leave reality behind. I would not end up in a cotton candy fairyland full of unicorns and rainbows and happiness.

I would end up in my own personal hell. At least part of the time. I keep my demons in the shadowy corners and crevices of my mind and if I lost my window on reality, it would be just me and them, alone in the dark.

I wouldn’t stand a chance.

It’s not all bad, though, I am positive that my overstuffed dream vault is the power source for my ability to “see” further and deeper than others, and it is also the wellspring of my creativity.

I might be healthier if I truly got caught up on sleep.

But life would be a lot more boring.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.