Ypou know, there are people who fall asleep the minute their head hits the pillow and wakes up in the morning feeling refreshed, energized, and renewed.
And I hate those people;.
As you might have guessed, I feel that way right now because I just woke up feeling like used crap and I am feeling bitter and resentful about it.
Why should some people get to have wonderful magical sleep and I am stuck taking forever to fall asleep and then waking up feeling dizzy and disoriented and misterable.
Something must have gone wrong in my very early childhood. Something that screwed up the phase where I was supposed to learn how to get to sleep on my own, and so for the rest of my life, it takes me forever.
And then, due to my fucking sleep apnea, I get my ass kicked when I finally get there.
It’s like getting mugged in Oz.
Health news uodate!
Went to Doctor Chao, my GP, yesterday. As I suspected, my long term blood sugars, as measured by my hemoglobin a1c, was atrocious.
As in, mine was 13, and normal is 7.
So clearly I got to straighten up and fly right.
He was so cool. Cooler than cool.
Luckily, I might be getting some help in that direction. Doctor Chao was kind enough to put in a special request for the province to buy me a Onetouch Freestyle Libre.
Also known as “the blood sugar reader that doesn’t required blood and therefore does not require me to poke holes in my fingers. ”
So,. fingers crossed on that. With that powerful device at my command, I would become a model diabetic, as oppose to now, where I more or less suck at it.
A D+ student at best.
I mean, I do okay. I take my pills and avoid the sweet stuff. But I don’t test and I don’t take my insulin and hence my a1c is through the roof and that means my diabetes is doing all kinds of damage all through my body and that shit’s got to stop, y’all.
With the Libre, I will not only be able to get a reading on my blood sugar whever I like without having to make myself bleed for the machine, that thing takes a reading every like three seconds and relays that info to the app, and that means it can provide me with something very, very valuable to me..
DATA. Sweet, wonderful data! I will be able to see exactly how my blood sugar reacts after I eat one of my typical meals and adjust my insulin accordingly.
And I will find that extremely reassuring. Information like that will make me feel a lot better because I will have the info I need to feel in control.
So fingers crossed indeed.
He also put me on a blood pressure medication called Ramipril, and I am not sure I need it. I think the higher than normal blood pressure reads from the last times I was in his office were due to dehydration, not genuine high blood pressure.
But doctor knows best, of course.
Time for the split.
That line represents eight hours of time!
Brought to you by the miracle of typography.
Been thinking about change, especially as it pertains to aging, tonight.
As we age, we gain insight, foresight, and wisdom, but we lose the mental flexibility and mobility to adapt to change. Thus, the older we get, the more we want things to stay the same for a while. This is the natural pogression of the human mind, to go from flexible to inflexible over time.
At the ripe old age of almost 46, I feel like I am at the point of equilibrium between flexible and inflexible right now. I can’t really keep up with the pace of change any more – hence my still being on Facebook and nothing else – but I am not to the point where I have to shut out and oppose everything new because I can’t adapt any more.
Luckily,I have known this was coming ever since I was in high school. Back then, I reasoned that this loss of flexibility must be the reason people got more conservative and reactionary as they got older, and I had no illusions about somehow being immune to this effect myself.
But having seen this coming, I have had a lot of time to think about how I would deal with it, and it requires nothing more than the razor-sharp skepticism and reasoning skills I have always used.
The key is to understand that it is I who have changed, not the world. It’s not speeding up, I’m slowing down. Things are no more and no less complicated than they were when I was a kid, I am just ill suited to keeping up.
I learned that the hard way when I took that ill-fated Linguistics course at Kwantlen.
Because it’s me who is slowing down, it is illogical and unreasonable for me to demand that the whole world slow down to my speed.
It is the height of selfishness and shortsightedness to expect the world to change just so you don’t have to.
So I will adapt to what I can adapt to still, and ignore the rest without feeling the need to declare the whizzing whirling world of today to be somehow defective.
And when I cannot adapt, I will retreat imto my cultural bunker which is filled with things I understand and enjoy and leave the rest of the world to go on its merry way without me trying to gum up the works.
So all I truly ask of the world is that it leave me alone in my little island of soothing familiarity along with my temporal contemporaries and let us slip silently over the cultural horizon in peace.
And in my life, the world has generally been pretty cool about that kind of thing.
Were that everyone was so self-aware and honest.
I will talk to you nice people agan tomorrow.