Full disclosure : my roomies and I got way behind on our Colberts and Shows Daily so I am just catching up to last week’s Democratic debates now.

And holy shit, Kamala Harris. Holy SHIT.

She fucking OWNED that debate. And not just on logic and rhetoric, the classical diad of debate. She projected such force, energy, and righteousness that even Bernie Sanders was cowed by it.

And that’s his jam, dog!

The flashbulb moment, of course, was this :

Hoe. Lee. Sheeeeeeyit.

Never in my life have I seen a political killshot like that. There was no way for Biden to recover from that, although like the heavyweight political prizefighter he is, he didn’t fall and kept on punching back.

The only way he could have neutralized even part of the power of that moment is if he had instantly and completely admitted he was wrong back then. That would have blunted the attack considerably.

But that was never in the cards for Biden. For one, that would take the kind of cold-blooded calculation that is anathema to his warmhearted style. For another, he is a fighter and his instinct is always to punch back, and this was one of those rare situations where the only way to win is to surrender.

And for third, well, he’s an old white dude in his 70’s, and no matter how smart they are, those guys simply don’t have the mental manueverability for such things any more.

I feel a little bad for Biden. But only a little. Because he has made it clear that he is the no-change phony liberalism candidate and so I want him to go down.

But I like the guy, so it’s painful to watch it happen.

Surprising nonstarter : Buttigieg. The man is a living monument to human achievement whose resume reads like a hiring officer’s wet dream, but I totally understand how mild mannered Mayor Pete was simply not ready for the high voltage atmosphere of that night of debate.

I’m not sure I would have done any better, and I’m a big fat loudmouth. Normally, a debate stage like that would be where I could shine.

But that stage was no fit place for a Canadian. We are not cut out for that kind of bare knuckled political scrapping.

I would probably have made one try to get a good shot in, and if that didn’t work, I would have just let the big dogs fight it out.

Unless someone said something blatantly stupid. Like that self-help chick. What the fuck was she even doing there? Talk about a lightweight.

And the one time she was on a roll and going on about how Trump didn’t win with plans but by just saying “Make America Great Again” – absolutely true, and pointed to one of the Democrats’ biggest weaknesses – she then shot herself in the foot by saying something about it not being about “superficial things like plans”.

Um…. what the cinnamon toast fuck was that?

Plans themselves are good. What she should have said was that if all the Democrats do is wank on about plans when the election comes around, they are going to lose a lot of people whose hearts might be with them but to whom they make no sense.

Those are the people who need emotional leadership. They need someone to connect with them emotionally and inspire them into action. When you talk to those people in detailed policy wonk terms, all they hear is the muted trumpet sounds from when the adults spoke in the Charlie Brown specials and the message they take away is “This person is not speaking my language and doesn’t know or care if they connect with me and my issues” and that person essentially ceases to exist for them.

And then they go looking for someone who DOES speak in a language they understand, and if that happens to be a Satan like Trump, so be it.

And it’s not that these people are somehow too lazy or too apathetic to figure out what the Dems are talking about.

It’s that they are literally incapable of understanding that kind of talk. It’s too complicated, it is based on a presumed shared knowledge base that a lot of people simply do not have, and it moves far too fast and at too high a density.

It’s how liberal intellectuals speak to each other – but it’s not how normal people talk.

What else…. what the fuck is wrong with Chuck Todd?

Seriously, what a fucking dipshit asshole of the month club selection. He clearly wanted to make this all about him and got all pissy when people held a debate instead.

Oh, I am sorry, Chuckie, do you need an Equal Attention Cake?

And the thing is, something Chris Christie said on Colbert seemed to indicate that Chucklefuck Todd has been like that for a long time.

Well his performance at the debates has soured me on him pretty much forever, and I am pretty sure I am not the only one. So I would say his “brand” is tainted now and MSNBC should dump the chump.

Or at least make him apologize and promise to rein himself in from now on.

Dammmit, now I can’t get that asshole kid at the birthday party out of my head. I can see his face so clearly. Big eyes, small nose, semi-permanent pout (never a good sign), curly black hair, wearing a kid-sized dress shirt and slacks.

It was a traumatic experience for me – I was seven at the time I think – because I had never experienced that kind of thing before. That sort of selfishness and pettiness was unknown to me at the time. At first, I couldn’t even understand what was going on. I had no boxes in my head for that kind of information.

Guess I lost some innocence that day.

And the thing is, I didn’t know this kid. He wasn’t from my neighborhood, that’s for sure. A few of the other attendees were from my neighborhood, but not him.

Looking back, I ended up sort of swept up into a lot of kids’ birthday parties.

I dunno how the hell that worked. Did ambitious parents just gather us up like it was roundup time at the sheep station?

Imagine if you tried that today.

Anyhow, um…. where was I…. oh right, politics.

Fuck Joe Biden (sorry Joe). Yay Kamala Harris.

Could you imagine the impact a Kamala Harris/Elizabeth Warren ticket would have?

All the old white dudes would be shitting their Depends full because they would know, without a shadow of a doubt, that their era was over.

They would be oh so keenly aware that they were the dinosaurs – and Harris/Warren was their asteroid.

And with that happy thought, I bid you adieu.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.