So I managed to get my ass to the hospital in time to see Doctor Kwok at 8:30 am.
Actually, I quite impressed myself in the process. I woke up at 8 am, looked at the clock, and despaired. Only half an hour? I was never going to make it.
But then I rallied and pulled myself together, got dressed, called the cab, and was at the hospital by 8:20 am!
Not freaking bad, if I say so myself.
And I do!
Of course, he didn’t end up seeing me until around 9:20 am anyway. Typical specialist. Appointments are for patients, not them!
But it doesn’t matter. I rocked it either way.
Just digressed into Facebook for ten mins. Mental note : having trouble focusing right now. Turning off MP3s to compensate.
So where was I? And how often do I say that?
Right! Made it to the hospital. Doc Kwok took a look at my leg demon and decided that what was needed was for a wound care nurse (which is a thing now, apparently) to have a go at it to clean out the necrotic tissue and see what’s underneath.
He also ordered an ultrasound. More on that later.
So I end up in an exam room. I read, I mellow. Really wish my tablet hadn’t died on me, that would have really made the time fly.
Then again, I sleep better now, so…
The session with the wound care nurse was not fun but not as bad as it might of been, because the thing about necrotic tissue is that it’s dead and hence feels no pain.
But there was still some pain. When she told me to look away, I did, because I ain’t no fool and I figure she knows what is what.
And I have to say, she removed a lot more than I thought she would. And despite the pain, it feels good to have it gone.
Kind of like peeling a scab. Hurts, but then feels better after.
The nurse was quite sweet and sensitive about the whole thing. All said, the quality of care I have received has been quite high.
And yet, what with that poor lady yesterday, and a fellow in the waiting/IV area today who has been there for three hours without anyone saying boo to him, clearly not everybody is having that great an experience.
So I have to wonder what the difference is. Is it because I’m a white male?
I don’t think so. I think it’s more likely to be that I have a big personality and I am very likable and that helps me connect with the nurses and doctors.
The fact is, I bring out nurturing responses in people, especially when my mind is relatively unclouded by depression and especially especially when I am in distress.
It’s a survival instinct of sorts, I suppose. Comes from being the youngest.
So now I am waiting on a phonecall about the ultrasound. Should be today or tomorrow.
It’s a pain in the ass because I hate uncertain waiting. I am very patient when waiting for something happening at a specific time but this sort of thing makes me antsy.
But I know demand for ultrasounds is high, so I understand.
Doesn’t mean I like it, but I understand.
Being too sick to go out sucks.
I am getting really bored and restless. Even a hardcore introvert like myself needs social time now and then.
I’m getting that “tiger pacing in its too-small cage” feeling.
I mean, yeah, technically I’ve been out a lot lately, but only to the hospital, and whilst that did involve a certain amount of socialization, that’s not what I had in mind.
What I crave most right now is a good party. A house party, of course… I am dimly aware that there are other kinds but where I come from, not so much.
Just a nice little party with snacks and drinks and decent music (classic rock is fine by me) and, of course,. the most important thing of all : good conversation.
I guess I now know what it takes to make me feel social : being told I can’t have it!
Seems obvious in retrospect.
Still no word about the ultrasound. Dammit. That means it will probably come in tomorrow, and that means I will get the call and have to rush on over there, most likely, and I hate that kind of shit.
Like I said once before, want to see the dark side of a Taurus? Rush us.
But I will mentally prepare.
Not sure if I am supposed to go do the IV antibiotic thing tomorrow as well or not.
If I am lucky, the ultrasound will be scheduled for some time nearish to when Joe leaves for work so I can catch a ride.
Or if not that, I hope it will be a nice sunny day so that taking the bus will be an option. It was rainy and cold today. and so I ended up takling a cab each way.
There’s another $20 down the drain.
My appetite is being a pain. One minutes I am gnaw-a-limb-off ravenous, so I prepare a big meal for myself, then like three bites in, the steel door in my gut slams shut and I am full to the point of being slightly nauseous.
Make up your fricking mind!
Because of that, and a general feeling of instability as well, I have not taken any insulin today. I didn’t want to set off a low blood sugar incident.
Those feel like dying. They are terrifying.
If high blood sugar was as awful as low blood sugar, all us Type II diabetics would be in perfect compliance all the time.
OK, maybe not. There are a lot of people far worse at regulating their own behaviour than I am. Makes me realize that while I have the same food addiction as any other fat guy, mine is not nearly as bad as some because I have never made junk food a huge part of my diet.
Largely that’s been due to financial constraints. But still.
Right now, I have way too much junk food in my diet and I would like to work towards getting rid of most of it. Make it a once a day thing.
I am not even sure I would miss it that much. Especially if I replaced it with good wholesome healthy food that is tasty and good.
And not so carb-laden.
Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he?
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.