I have been giving further thought to the idea of trying to connect to my latest spiritual and/or intuitive and/or deep emotional self.
Because that’s the only avenue to it I have, I think. The only times in my life when I have felt anything like true spirituality – in the sense of letting my mind enter a state like a waking dream and letting the images come to me without need for explanation or justification – is when I am writing in a free and fluid way.
And I feel like I have been fumbling towards this particular solution for a long time now. It’s just that so far it has mostly come out as prose in this blog.
You know, those long heavily imagistic paragraphs where I go off on one heck of a tangent and essentially write poetry in prose form, usually following the hell out of some metaphor or other as I struggle to express what I need to express.
The next step,then, would be to make the leap into fiction. I remember what it was like when I was writing my experimental NaNoWriMo novel and doing my best to impose no structure or limitations and just let the images flow.
It was amazing.
Didn’t last long – I soon lapsed back into storytelling. Perhaps it was all too intense to maintain for a spiritual neophyte like me, I don’t know.
I suppose that if I was to embark on that journey once more. knowing what I know now, I would last longer. I would resist the urge to fall into story structure and concentrate on staying in that dreamlike state where my mind is open to creating what it needs to heal.
That’s what I mean by “make the art that heals you”. I think a lot of the most powerful works come from a creator using their art to express something deep and complicated and difficult within themselves, and that’s as true for a grand symphony as it is for one of those cheap novels they sell in supermarket checkout lanes.
Because this works are produced in that dreamlike state, they are not bound by waking logic and can, in theory, access our emotional cores directly. And that’s the kind of art that transcends its form and becomes something more that mere media.
And I’d like to make stuff like that. It sounds neat.
So really, it’s just a matter of working up the courage to actually do it now. It’s a scary prospect because I would truly be stepping into the unknown. I would be walking off the brightly lit paths of reason and knowledge into the dark mysterious forest of my mind.
But the answers I need can only be found out there, in the unlit lands. I have taken reason as far as it can go and while it provides answers, it has no solutions.
Not for problems like this, anyhow. Not for the problem of how to grow your soul. Reason can’t tell me how to catch up with my peers emotionally.
In other words, how to grow the fuck up already.
It’s amazing how much maturity you can dodge when you are hyper intelligent.
More after the break.
Back after doing Subway with Le Gang.
Shit’s getting real out there, y’all. Everything is being shut down. Pretty soon we will be down to supermarkets and hospitals. Very scary and theatrical.
Of course, for me, it’s just another day at the office. In my little world, this all seems like something that is happening around me but not to me.
Reminds me of what it’s like for the likes of me in a financial crisis. Sure, I feel bad for all the people losing everything they got. But when rock bottom is already your home address, not much is going to change.
I still think this whole thing is an overreaction. Not that I feel any need to try and stop it. I might feel and act like a prophet sometimes, but I ain’t gonna try to fight the tide.
I mean, if the whole herd decides to stampede off a cliff, I’m not going to argue. I’m just going to get the fuck out of the way.
I do worry about the fallout from all this hysteria, though. Mostly the economic fallout. There has got to be some serious motherfucking consequences to shutting down almost everything for an unknown period of time.
But this is what we have to do in order to limit the spread of (Initiate Self Destruct. Password: ) Covid-!9. This shit is a concentrated attack on all the standard operating beliefs of a free and individualistic society and calls on every human on this planet to put aside their selfish and short-sighted self-interest for the common good.
And amazingly enough, it’s working.
Now if only we could get this kind of global panic going about something more important than a not very deadly virus.
Like global warming, for example.
But I suppose global warming is still too abstract and distant and removed for people to feel like it’s a true threat.
That will change. Things will get worse. Eventually, the whole world will be like Australia and there will be no more safe havens and we will have all the political will needed in order to combat the new extreme-weather hellscape – or at least to find the bastards responsible and make them pay.
Because believe me, when things start to go seriously south (and people start going seriously north), people will be out for blood and looking for scapegoats.
And I, for one, will be more than happy to lead the torch wielding mobs right to the doors of the bloated billionaires who doomed the planet in order to keep from losing a tiny percentage of a fortune they could never hope to spend in ten lifetimes.
With great power comes great responsibility, and money is power. Ergo with great money comes great responsibility, and I, for one, will be eager to hold these motherfuckers responsible for what they have done to us AND THEMSELVES.
So track these people, o citizens of the earth. Put them on your GPS. Make sure you know exactly where they are at all times.
That way, when the mobs come, you’ll be there to say “They went thataway. ”
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.