You know the one. Where Mike Judge and three actors created the scene that provided catharsis for the billions of people in the world who have found their lives and their sanity dependent on a piece of technology that, with diabolical precision, found new ways to fuck with you every single day.

I like this version because it has the full scene PLUS the justifications leading to it.

Office Space Printer from Shang Xiao on Vimeo.

I keep waiting for this scene to be recreated in some technology company’s oh so hip ad.

Then again, that could blow back huge. I mean, what technology company can be sure none of their products ever made people feel like this?

Maybe it should be a baseball bat company instead.

Still….. DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE MOTHERFUCKER KILL.

When I saw this as a still image, I thought “big deal, lots of people have made retarded big and complicated toothpick sculptures and they are all very ugly and dull. ”

But then I saw the video, and this one is not like the others.

It has motion!

Scott Weaver’s Rolling through the Bay from Learning Studio on Vimeo.

That changed everything. Now I greatly admire what he’s done. It’s still in dire need of more color and definition, but the ping pong ball “tours” totally justify the art to me. Now, it’s interesting.

I love kinetic art.

This is such an interesting story that I was quite disappointed that it lacked an ending.

Or rather, lacked a climax. I had the feeling the story was going somewhere, and then it… didn’t. Not really.

Still, I absolutely love its very well thought out future. Bits of it seem slightly old-fashioned, but for the most part, it was a future that seemed believable and interesting, written with enough grit and light cynicism to be realistic without being depressing.

I could take issue with the whole “peace and safety are boring” notion. That’s a hackneyed science fiction trope that I don’t think stands up to scrutiny at all. From the point of view of someone from the turn of the 20th century, we of the modern world live in unimaginable luxury and comfort, and they might conclude “oh, what a boring future that must be!”.

But it isn’t. Human beings create their own challenges, goals, structures, and so on. In a world of unending material prosperity, people’s activities would simply move higher up on the hierarchy of needs.

Seems obvious, doesn't it? And yet...

Sure, a civilization might arise that gives us all a great deal of material comfort, physical pleasure, sex droids and worker robots and all of us living like lords of the manor.

But what of friendship, family, people to respect, people to respect us, and so on? People will still need all those higher order things, and hence will be motivated to go out there into the world and find love, start families, seek the recognition of their peers, and so forth and so on.

That aside, though, I quite enjoyed the story.

Isn’t Maslow’s hierarchy beautiful? So simple and yet there is so much truth in there.

Ain’t nothing quite like one of the candy-based holidays^[1] to make us diabetics feel real special.

Had a dream that I was pigging out on Easter chocolate like there was nothing to worry about. This happens to me from time to time. I dream that I have gone way overboard in the whole not eating sugar category, usually by having something like the candy bars I miss so much in MASSIVE quantity. Often, for some reason, this involves a period of the dream where I am shopping at a supermarket. Well, that IS where I used to get my chocolate bars (candy bars, for you Americans) most of the time. I used to live for those great “two chocolate bars for a dollar at the checkout” sales. Booya, I am gonna stock up on Coffee Crisps, Skor bars, Cookies and Cream and Cookies and Mint! Damn, I miss my bars.

I’m no saint, I still have The Wrong Thing now and then. But not chocolate bars. Usually, it’s a restaurant dessert and it’s something not too sweet and it’s after a big meal with plenty of protein and complex carbs, so the sugar doesn’t hit my system too hard.

For someone like me, these dreams where I oink out on chocolate are like those dreams that former junkies have where they have gone back on the junk. They are both sick wish fulfillment (satisfying the craving virtually, in the dream world) and a terrible nightmare, because you wake up thinking “oh no oh no, I am screwed now!” and it takes some time for your poor brain to sort everything out and inform you that it was all a dream and you can calm down and relax now.

Of course, it’s not like I was ever a chocoholic (addicted to chocohol) or had a serious sweet tooth or anything, so the analogy doesn’t really hold. I loved the chocolate bars, but I never craved them like it was an addiction or anything. I just enjoyed them now and then, and given the nature of the modern supermarket experience, they are the things I most often encounter and wistfully desire.

Those chocolate bars are always there when I buy something anywhere, really. The margin on chocolate bars must be enormous for them to be able to afford that kind of coverage. If you are paying for something in the mdoerjn world, odds are good you’re doing it next to a lot of chocolate.

And yes, there are times when I cannot help but resent the ease and ignorant joy with which most of the world participates in the glorious world of sugary treats. All those people blithely getting their ice cream and their cookies and their cakes and their cereals and their any kind of pop they want at a restaurant, completely ignorant of how much of society is built for them to enjoy and how lucky they are to not have to dwell in the No Sugar Added ghetto if they want something sweet and tasty and fun.

I suppose that’s true for any disability, really. Most people have no idea how lucky they are not to suffer from depression, either. How lucky they are to feel happy and be able to do things and not always worry about things and hate yourself.

And it’s not like I go around constantly thinking about how great it is that I can walk, see, and have a nervous system that more or less works. I live in a modern country, and so I have a quality of life far better than at least half of the world, even on $8000/year. I am highly intelligent and articulate and have had opportunities others would envy. But I still feel sorry for myself sometimes. We are all defined by our own limitations far more than by the limitations of others, and so we focus on them, and forget to be glad for the ones we don’t have.

Then again, it’s not like we can go around in a constant state of gratitude. We wouldn’t get anything done!

Anyhow, my Easter message for you is to enjoy your sweet treats, and maybe take some time to think of all the problems you do not have and be glad you live someplace with Internet and computers and literacy and shelter to make all this possible.

You could have done a hell of a lot worse in life.