Yup. More links.

Gotta catch’m all!

I like this bit of well crafted satire.

Reminds me of a lot of people I have known. Not in person, thank goodness, because I probably would have ended up throttling them, but I think everyone has encountered them online.

They are the nerds that make nerds look bad. Forget about the sorry nerdlingers that are merely socially inept and have trouble connecting with people in a normal way. While they can be annoying and rub people the wrong way, they at least mean well.

But these dudes have taken their above-average intelligence and puffed up its important in order to fill in all the gaps in their ego left by society’s nerd abuse, and used that to flip the script and say that it is THEY who are awesome, and YOU who suck.

And there but for the grace of God and my deep distaste for elitism went I. I was verging on being pretty insufferable in my mid-20’s.

Luckily, I grew out of it, with the help of some very patient friends.

Next, I have been watching a great little show called Kingdom via Netflix lately, and I scored a little personal coup via it today.

I was watching this episode from the third series (season) when I thought I recognized the lady farmer character from somewhere else.

“That’s Sandi Toksvig from the original Whose Line Is It Anyway!” I exclaimed.

Well, OK, what I really said was “Hey, that’s whats-her-name, Sandi something, from WLIIA!”

I was thrown off at first because they kept using tricky camera angles to conceal how short she is, but when I got a good look at her with something for scale, I knew it was her.

And it’s so rare for me to be able to do that (especially compared to my encyclopedic friends) that it pleased me greatly to “get one” at last.

And speaking of things me and my friends like (work with me here), I discovered a simply wonderful article about the making of the movie Clue today.

It is jam packed with the sort of details that make comedy nerds like me delirious.

Like the fact that the writer and director of the movie is the man behind another masterpiece of comic genius, Yes Minister.

That show is a textbook of how to make comedy. And Clue is quite brilliant too, plus he was also behind another sleeper hit, My Cousin Vinnie.

Clearly Jonathan Lynn is a force to be reckoned with.

And his original choice for Wadsworth the butler was none other than Leonard Rossiter (Do you boys have a Leonard Rossiter in there? No…), the mad genius behind the brilliant Fall And Rise of Reginald Perrin.

Go read the article… it’s a comedy geek”s goldmine.

Next, we have this offering from those Internet crack dealers at Cracked.


When Body Switching Movies Collide — powered by Cracked.com

As seems to be characteristic of their style lately, the title isn’t entirely accurate. I guess I can’t blame them for titling things according to whatever will get them the most clicks.

Anyhoo, I am linking it here today because it’s a somewhat amusing skit. It’s not brilliant in premise or insanely funny, but it is fun to see how they pile on the various ways plots get fucked in TV and movies, and it’s something that deserves to be satirized.

So while not hilarious, it’s refreshing and satisfying for those of us who have gotten sick of the same cheap devices used in show after show.

Oh, and nice making no effort to look like who you were supposed to be, guys.

Also in the skitcom way is this little gem.

Is the guy with the mustache supposed to come across as a serial killer? Because I am getting a serious “wets the bed, sets fires, and tortures animals” feel from that guy.

Still, it’s a great idea, and what I particularly like is imagining that a whole whack of really closeted gay Christian dudes are going to see it and say “That works??” and go do the same thing.

Take that, homophobic “Christians”!

My favorite detail? That would have to be that the lesbian “Thanks, Christian Mingle!” ladies have a baby. That is comedy genius because it’s the exact thing that would piss the homophobes off the most.

My position is that I want non-hateful left-leaning Christians to stand up to the haters who mock Christ’s message and take their religion back from the Pharisees.

Next up, today’s vid, and then I will leave you with one final nugget.

It’s certainly the most earnest and open video I have made. It didn’t start out to be quite so confessional, but I liked where it went, so I kept it all.

And what the heck, this is the era of the New Sincerity. Openness and honesty and vulnerability are very “in” right now.

And I have a real talent for that kind of thing.

Plus, I do believe that confession is good for the soul, so to speak. I realized after making the video that I have been keeping my deflector shields up far more on video than I do in this blog, and there is really no reason for it.

With this kind of thing, I am at least putting something real and true to me out there.

It can’t all be mirrors, shadows, and fog.

And finally for today, a news article about a young man who has clearly made all the right life choices.

He hid away in K-mart overnight so he could huff all the inhalants he wanted.

I would just, at this point, like to point out that huffing inhalants like paint or gas is officially the saddest way to get high known to humanity.

And it gets better. Robert Pry, our young canned air enthusiast (he huffed 16 cans!) was discovered in the morning by an unfortunate K-mart employee.

Said employee immediately called the cops, who discovered young Master Pry passed out in a cubbyhole beneath some stairs, covered in vomit and urine, presumably his own.

His mother must be so proud.

Seeya tomorrow gang!

Massive link stampede

I am overrun with nifty stuff to share today, so it’s time to get a long little doggie (and a short little cat), tie our lassos to our lariats, and corral us some grade A link meat.

Today’s vid from me will be, of course, at the end.

First we have this highly amusing cat video.

It’s from a shelter called Tenth Life (very clever) and I love how it combines a gadget-based infomercial style with pretty accurate observations about what it’s like to be a cat owner to make comedy for all the cat lovers out there.

We are legion.

Not sure it works as a way to get people to adopt a cat, except by amusing us cat lovers and putting the thought of having our own cat in our minds.

It also makes me realize how easy it is to copy that infomercial style.

You just need someone to overact hilariously and the black and white filter from literally any video editing program on the planet.

Also in the comedic vein (located directly above the funny bone) is this bit of satire.


Exxon's Definitely Real Ideas To Save The Planet by TheKidsTable

What I like most about this piece is that it manages to tackle a pretty serious subject and satirize it effectively without being depressing.

I mean, it is depressing if you really think about it, but the skit itself is not.

And, like I often say, they made a very effective piece with fairly minimal budget. I am trying to study as many of those kinds of skit as I can so I can learn what simple techniques pack the most impact while still making the piece seem professional.

Because no matter how funny you are, if it looks or sounds like crap, it will turn people off.

Turning from funny to fun, take a look at these gorgeous retro style Star Trek posters.

An artist named Juan Ortiz has decided to do a 60’s-style movie poster for every single episode of the original Star Trek series, and they look fantastic.

I mean, check out this poster for Whom The Gods Destroy (a fave ep of mine) :

Party on, Garth!

Party on, Garth!

There’s shape-shifting Garth of Izar ready to plunge a dagger into the back of an unsuspecting Kirk.

I hope that when Mr. Ortiz finishes the series, he makes them available in a art book, because I would love to have it. I love when fandom meets true artistic talent.

Plus, to be honest, he would make a mint off a book like that. And almost as much just selling high quality prints of each one so you can just get the ones from your favorite episodes.

And speaking of fun, here’s the most fun headline I have read this week : Police Bust “Drug Fueled Sex Party” at Masonic Temple in Michigan

Doesn’t that just fire up the imagination? I picture some sort of hilariously elaborate ritualistic orgy with wearing enormous plaster of Paris animal heads humping and chanting at the same time.

But sadly, reality once more does not live up to its potential. Turns out the Masons just rented the space out to some group that claimed they were going to have a “dance party”, and they did, if you consider the horizontal mambo to be a dance.

And I do.

In truth, it sounds pretty lame. One couple boinking, others filming it, drugs around. Sounds like a very low rent porno company and there’s always something very sad about those.

C’mon people! Sex is fun! Porn should be fun! Look like you’re having a good time!

I would be such an awesome porn director.

We are going to take a turn into the sentimental and moving now. Don’t worry, we will be back at comedy by the end of this blog entry.

First there is this excellent piece of Pekar-esque comic art about a difficult childhood.

I love that kind of thing. The comic book medium is far too powerful and elegant to be restricted to just telling superhero stores, as awesome as those are.

I view it as being like film-making. Anything you can do in film, you can do in a comic book, more or less. Both are all about visual storytelling.

And some things comics do better. That story of a neglectful, alcoholic father might well be too painful if done in film, but the distance provided by comics makes it safer to look into this sad corner of a sad child’s little world.

Our other heart-tugger is a happy story about an actor going out of his way to make an autistic child’s dream come true.

It just reminds me of what a rare privilege and honor it would be to be able to do so much with just a little extra thought and kindness.

I am a total karma whore, and so the ability to make people that happy with relatively little effort appeals to me greatly. If I should ever be so lucky, I will treat it like a sacred trust and do my best to be the best damn superstar I could possibly be.

None of this throwing a hissy fit in public or being rude to my fans shit for me. Stars who do that are repulsive. Get over yourself and be there for your adoring public, or stay home.

And finally, today’s silly, silly video.

It’s another slideshow.

How do you like my pretty and ornate music? There’s nothing quite like harp.

I doubt I will stick with “Sarcastic Slideshow” as a name for these things I do, it was just the first thing that popped into mind.

It’s clearly a slideshow, and so that part will stay. It gets the basic idea of what to expect across. Still images and someone talking.

But it needs something to indicate that it is comedic in intent.

Silly Slideshow? No, too frivolous. Comedy Slideshow? Ick.

Oh well, I will think of something.

Faith and Fanaticism

Today’s video is about the diving line between faith and fanaticism. Here it is :

I seem to have discovered a rich vein of insight with this line of thinking, so I will continue to explore the topic in this blog entry.

Picking up where the video left off, what really has me fascinated right now is the notion that no matter how a particular subculture looks from the outside, as long as they do not break the law or otherwise step outside the bounds of normal pluralistic society, they are all more or less equal in society’s eyes.

I say “more or less” because obviously being a neo-Nazi is a lot more likely to get you off the guest list for fancy parties than being Presbyterian.

But in a live and let live society like our own, in the eyes of society, everybody who behaves themselves is equal. Whatever you and your friends do together on the weekend is fine, whether it’s a church picnic or a NAMBLA rally. As long as you are not breaking the law, do what you like.

And I find that fascinating because it runs completely counter to the way the average citizen actually thinks about society, and yet it is also undoubtedly true.

In a modern society, we are all about judging one another socially and deciding who are the good people and who are not. No matter your political stripe, it’s virtually guaranteed, indeed it’s almost logically inevitable, that you think people who think differently are wrong and possibly defective.

Same with people who don’t share your taste in music, or television, or fine dining. The modern society is highly pluralistic, so these little divisions are usually not taken very seriously and we all, to some extent, grasp that the Big Rule of society is “mind your own business and others won’t mind yours”, but because modern life is safe, stable, and secure, it furnishes our lower level needs quite reliably, causing the next level up, the social needs, to become our highest priority.

So we divide ourselves into all these overlapping groups, circles upon circles of association connected together in a n-space Venn Diagram that would drive even the most resourceful topologist insane.

And we behave as though these social (as opposed to legal) divisions are incredibly important and are, in fact, iron clad rules of the universe. And I don’t exclude myself from this by any means. Ask me what I think of the current crop of conservatives some time.

But when you really look at it, in society’s view, we are all the same. In society’s view, there are sane law abiding citizens, and that’s most of us, and there’s the crazy and/or criminal who need to be punished, and that is it.

Nobody actually gets bonus points from society itself for being a good person. That happens on a lower level, both due to the nature of human interaction (people like nice people) and the more subtle forms of social punishment that lack the brute force of law (like becoming a social pariah).

And this causes a certain amount of stress between the citizens and their societies sometimes. We all get the “live and let live” rule in the broad sense, but sometimes, when confronted with people who really make us angry or disgusted, we forget ourselves and demand the right to punish the members of a subculture for being so odious to us, the only truly good people of society.

The long arm of the law, on the other hand, has to take the position that all law-abiding citizens are equal or the law will become compromised, lose its impartiality, and cease to be a force to restrain the citizenry and maintain law and order.

It would instead simply be a socially condoned lynch mob, and that cannot last.

Luckily, we have progressed far enough in the world of the developed democracies of the world that this pressure from the citizens is largely muted. You still get law bent to punish socially odious people (like smokers, for example), and this is good because sometimes, not often but sometimes, this is actually needed in order for society to progress.

But when this does not happen, citizens become angry about the society that “does nothing” to punish these “bad people”, and tension builds. If it becomes strong enough, people will give up on society and decide to rectify the situation themselves via vigilante justice.

A modern society must always keep this in mind. From this point of view, vigilantism can be seen as a symptom of society’s failure to deal with a problem, real or imaginary, in a way that resolved the tension one way or another.

Luckily, vigilantism is a form of fanaticism, and requires stepping out of the role of “normal citizen” and doing things which are at the very least abnormal and quite possibly also illegal. So most people will never become vigilante (despite our love of them in fiction) because most people are not crazy.

It is when ordinary citizens become angry enough and/or feel threatened enough to take up arms in protest and step out of the ordinary lives that no longer make them feel safe that revolution becomes a real possibility. That is the true cause of real social instability, and a society has to suffer a very large degradation of the feeling of connection between the citizens and the government for this to happen.

People have to believe that there is some reasonable way for them to be safe. It has to be possible to be okay if you do all the things you are supposed to do.

When people begin to feel that there is no security no matter what you do, vigilantism turns into revolution and society itself is in peril.

Sane and smart societies do everything they can to make sure they never reach that point.

And those that don’t fall and get taken over by others.

I wonder what will happen to us?

Back and forth

Lately, I feel like a tennis ball being bopped back and forth by two players with arms like steel pipes. They are technically the poles of my mood but honestly, right now, it all seems the same to me.

I have come to realize that I don’t think I have felt in full possession of myself for a very long time, maybe never. There’s always been this chaotic whirlpool of mood inside me, one half the result of my extreme sensitivity filling me with so much conflicting input, one half the thick and disgusting slurry that is all my unexpressed emotions, deep trauma, and freezer burn from my icy isolation.

Even as a child, I was unstable. I remember many days when I was almost entirely taken by a strange, often dark mood of some sort and if anyone had bothered to ask what was wrong with me (or even notice), I would not have been able to explain what the hell was wrong with me.

I just felt very strange. Sometimes it would be a deep sadness without apparent cause that made me feel like I was wandering naked through a dark and rainy night. Other times it would be this profound sense of silence that rendered me practically mute and strangely fearful of completely normal sounds. Still other times I would feel this terrible sense of urgency that convinced me there was something I was supposed to be doing, but I couldn’t remember what it was or how I would find out.

And sometimes I would feel profoundly unreal, like I was just a ghost drifting through the real world, there but not there at the same time. Everything I touched felt like it had a microscopically thin layer of ice on it that kept me from truly feeling it. Other people seemed like they were just shadows of things that had happened long ago. Nothing was real, least of all myself.

Now I should make it clear that this was not how I saw the world. I didn’t hallucinate, thank goodness. But it is how I felt, emotionally speaking, at the time, and the moods could be quite profound.

So basically, I was a pretty messed up kid. There was this violent screaming storm inside me all the time, like a hurricane wrapped into a tornado, and I never knew how I would feel, or how reality would feel, from minute to minute.

I think that informs a lot of my insecurity even to today. When you don’t know how you will feel ten minutes from now, you tend to become preoccupied with just dealing with all that inner chaos and that makes it extremely hard to deal with the outer world of objective reality.

Cant’t you see I’m busy, world? It takes all my energy just to hold on to what tiny bits of my sanity remain. It’s hard to hear you over the roaring wind and slashing rain inside. And don’t expect me to deal with anything too scary or complicated when I am stuck dealing with all this.

But it’s really hard to convey that to people, even when you are as articulate as I.

I know how this storm got started. A big mind with lots of power but very little dry land makes an excellent Pacific Ocean to brew up the biggest storms in the world. If I had not been so isolated, I might have been able to grow stronger inside and better able to hold my ground when Mr. Hurricane comes howling.

Damn I love that song.

But I got very little emotional nourishment as a child. I was all alone, either literally or emotionally, nearly all the time. Sometimes I would try to reach out to others but it always ended in embarrassment and humiliation for me as the person just stared at my like I was an alien and that can be worse than outright rejection, because even rejection is a connection of sorts, however brief.

But that incomprehension is the worst kind of rejection. The person has rejected even the thin and trembling thread of contact you sent out to attempt to connect with someone on any level.

They have rejected you without even knowing what or who they were rejecting.

And why? Because things grow strange in the dark. Any social animal raised in isolation develops numerous neuroses and quite likely a crippling social fear without hope of recovery.

The vital window was missed and any stimulation to the social center of the brain now causes such pain and confusion that it can only end in a terrible, soul-deep fear.

On some level, the animal still wants social connection, but the fear has taken over to such an extent that it dominates any attempt at social interaction, making you even more confused and in pain, and even stranger to the others of your kind.

The isolation becomes total, and the true mutation of spirit and soul begins.

So I was a crazy kid with serious issues. But I didn’t know any better, and I learned the very basic skills of deflecting the occasional interest my elders would show in me very early (because what is the use of explaining anything to them when they won’t understand?)

And they didn’t really want to know anyway. They made that abundantly clear. Any attempt to get help would just end up in pain, humiliation, confusion, and fear anyhow. So why try?

So I was the youngest of four kids who went to school, came home, entertained himself, ate supper, went back to entertaining himself, and that was his life.

I was surrounded by people and yet I lived in a world all my own. And not some sunshine fantasy realm full of unicorns and adventure either.

A cold and lonely world with only me in it, and all I knew how to do was distract myself with reading, watching television, and playing video games.

Not a lot had changed.