Sunday video etc.

This has seriously become the way I deal with needed to blog but not feeling like it or having any idea what to write.

I will run out of videos soon, though. Guess I will just have to start making them again!

First up, we have an unusual music based video for me, because the music isn’t by me.

It’s by my man MC 900 Foot Jesus.

I made this video because I wanted to link to the song in a blog entry about my idea of religion, and to my shock, it wasn’t on YouTube at all. To me, that was a crime. So not only did I do it because I wanted to link it, I also did it because, for the first time I can recall, I was in a position where I could contribute to the public good by making something available that was previously inaccessible. To do what others had done for me countless times over.

And that felt good. Of course, it didn’t take long for it to be flagged as third party content. But I don’t care. If they make me take it down, fine. I did my part.

And speaking of third party content, here’s my silly interpretive lyrics take on an American classic :

I really have no idea if those are funny or not. They seem funny to me, but that’s no guarantee. I think it’s very audience dependent. It’s funny if they have some notion of what the lyrics are supposed to be. Or if you go all out, like I did on this video for Black Rain :

Who knows, maybe a future “thing” to occupy me on Saturdays will be to make a high quality video like that one. I must say, I am quite proud of it. And it tested well.

Next up, we have a bit of music I did as an experiment :

Specifically, I said to myself, I said “Self, I am going to make a song just using the four traditional instruments : drums, bass, lead guitar, and ‘voice’. ” And that’s what I did. It’s not exactly a brilliantly effective piece, but it was fun trying to think like a band, so to speak.

I plan on trying it again some day. I have always wanted to do “real” sounding music, in other words, music that sounds like the music we hear all the time. Synth is great but what I really want, deep down, is to make music that sounds like an actual real live band filled with actual people made it.

But, you know, made by me alone, because I have issues.

The ultimate goal would be to make my own orchestral music. I feel like that is within my grasp and it’s just a matter of finding my way there somehow.

It’s odd how art can be like that. How you can feel like you have everything you need to do something, and theoretically you could totally do it, but you still have to cross that patch of ground between where you are and where it is.

In can be very frustrating.

Next up, I bitch about sleep. Big surprise.

Things haven’t really changed since then. But to be brutally honest, I am not nearly as “good” about using the CPAP as I should be. I often get up in the middle of the night to pee then “forget” to put the thing back on. And I never wear it when I nap.

This is clearly an area where I need to tighten the fuck up and stop being such a jagoff. It’s not like when the thing is on, I am hating every moment of it. I can pretty much totally ignore it. It’s actually kind of soothing. And yet, something in me, some petulant loser-ish part of me, still resists it.

And quite frankly, I am sick of it.

Oh right… sorry my eyes are pits of unholy darkness for much of that vid. Bad lighting.

And now, more music!

Pretty standard stuff for me. Not great, not bad. Fun. Pleasant. It’s formulaic, but that’s not always a bad thing. Some formulae are pretty damned effective.

Choose five samples that work together. Layer in, layer out in a different order. It works.

Here’s the next piece of music from my overflowing music making machine :

Today’s been pretty dull. Slept in. Got up. Ate while watching Scrubs. Came in here. Started blogging.

Oh, and activated my new credit card, the one that will draw from my new bank account from Vancity. It came in the mail recently and I am thrilled to see it, because it means that I will soon be fully out of the clutches of Money Mart with all their gouging fees. All I have to do is switch my Netflix and Fatcow accounts after my next cheque, and the people at Money Mart can kiss my ass goodbye. Wish I had done this years ago, would have saved me a lot of money.

But it took me a really long time to get over my mistrust of banks. Banks never wanted my business anyhow.

Aaaand finally, one last piece of music. Warning, it’s one of my weirder pieces, so… some of the noises might seem a tad harsh at normal volume.

Don’t ask me what the deal is with me and whales.

Fun fact : That noise you hear at the beginning and throughout the piece is not the sound of some ancient modem connecting. It’s actually the sound of the rings of Saturn. That it what it would sound like if you could play the rings of Saturn like a record.

I feel like I need to do a third Space Whale type song just to complete the trilogy. I rather like the idea of developing the Space Whale as a sort of character in my music. Like there is this giant ancient wise being out there calling to others of its kind and we got to listen.

I’m kind of deep that way.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.

My penis, and Saturdays revisited

In case you missed the title to this post, I am about to talk about my penis. Oh, and peeing. Trigger warning or whatever.

I had genital warts. That’s had, in the past tense. But we will get to that.

It started when I first noticed that my urine stream was bifurcating. Two streams, not one. I thought, that’s weird. But I wasn’t experiencing any pain and it was more of a curiosity than anything else, so because despite my intellect I have the mentality of a preschooler, I figured it wasn’t a problem and stopped thinking about it.

And that continues as my urine stream got more and more scattered until I was basically a sprinkler. Seriously, I could aim directly at the center of the bowl and have it still not catch it all. This was getting inconvenient.

Then, after way, way too long, I thought “Gee, maybe I should give myself an inspection at the source of the problem to make sure this isn’t an edema or something. ” [1]

And to my horror, I found that the entrance to my foreskin (I am uncut) covered in little knobby things. Uh oh…. that can’t possible be good!

Once more using my practically kindergartner level of maturity, I more or less ignored the problem after that. Again, it didn’t hurt and didn’t cause me a lot of problems, and it freaked me the hell out to think about it, so…. I didn’t.

Think about it, that is. This is known as the Ostrich Defense. Ignore it, maybe it will go away! Either way, at least you are not upset about it any more! Problem solved. In the most childish way possible.

This lasted until the next time I had to go in to see my GP to get my meds refilled. He could tell I was really worried about something. I dropped trou for him, and he took one look at my happy little friend, grinned, and reassuringly said “You appear to have genital warts. ”

I said “Really? How’d I end up with them?”

His grin got a little bigger. “Well, they’re believed to be sexually transmitted. ”

I said, “That’s impossible, because I haven’t had sex with anyone but myself for like a year. ”

I don’t think he believed me. But he added some kind of medicated cream to my prescriptions. End of story, right? Un, no. Because when I went to get my prescriptions filled, the pharmacist had never even heard of the cream in question, and when he looked it up, it turned out to be really expensive and not covered by my MSP.

So, stupidly, I said I would go back to my doctor and get it all straightened out. What I should have said was “You know what? Why don’t you call my doctor’s office for clarification on Monday. That will be a lot faster than me getting an appointment, and the result would be the same. ”

But I didn’t say that, and so it was up to me to make an appointment and go back. And so I went right back into Ostrich mode, and never made that appointment, and so forth.

But then, just today, I was urinating and noticed I had a normal urine stream again. I checked myself out, and lo and behold, the darn things had gone away all on their own. Every now and then I repeat the inspection just to make sure they really are gone and I didn’t dream the whole thing.

So, yay erectile liberation day! I would love to be able to say I learned a valuable lesson from all this, but nope. All I learned is that ignoring your problem really does work sometimes, and that’s a terrible lesson by anyone’s standards.

Even Donald Trump.

And perhaps that is why I have not found myself feeling depressed today, even though I once more ended up with no clean clothes to wear on Saturday and so I have been nuding it up all day. That little bit of lovely good news, that I once more had a wart free tallywhacker, buoyed me up enough that I haven’t really minded today being so quiet and lonely.

Plus, I think I am learning to just relax and be cool about it. I’ve made peace with the fact that I am going to be lazy and unproductive on Saturdays, and heck, maybe that’s for the best.

I mean, everyone needs a day off, even students, right?

And if, at some point, I decide I want to get something or other done, I would approach it without pressure and without fear, knowing that I can do it or not, and both are totally cool, and there’s no need to get frustrated about it.

If I am bored and restless, I know the cure. Do something. There’s a world of possibilities at my fingertips. I have lots of things I can do, some productive, others just for fun.

Or I could sleep all day. That’s cool too. The problem comes when I let the sleepiness freak me out and make me feel like I am drowning in a somnolent sea. If I am tired of sleeping and don’t want to be sleepy any more, I know the cure for that too : get up and move around. Do something active. That is usually enough to switch gears into drive.

And if not, maybe I really need that sleep and I should do what my body wants me to do.

The trick is to not get too attached to outcomes. Especially when they don’t really matter at all. If I never get around to doing something important, that’s a problem. But if it’s just something I thought I might try, then what does it matter?

Right now, I am going to go lie down. Maybe I will sleep. Maybe not. Either way is cool.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.

[[1]] I know a weirdly large number of medical terms for someone who hasn’t so much taken a biology class since Grade Ten. Just part of my enormous bulging vocabulary, I guess. [[1]

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