Feeling restless and cranky and fussy right now.
Jerking off without completion did not help. I think a big messy ejaculation could have done wonders for my mood.
Hard to be cranky when your balls are wonderfully empty. Ah, satori.
But no. Instead I just ended up more frustrated and agitated than before I so much as touched my dick.
That is sadly the score most of the time I give spanking the monkey a try. I rarely get to squirt. It still feels great and is great fun (and great cardio…. whack yourself thin today!) but the male brain is programmed to drive hard (heh) towards that explosive moment of release and when it doesn’t get it, we get ornery.
Of course, the problem could be that masturbation ain’t enough any more and what I really need are some hot hard hung dudes to fuck my face and ass.
That’s known in sex circles as being “spitroasted” and it sounds fabulous.
I could also use someone’s sexy butt to rim and ride. I’m bottomish but not a total bottom. I get the urge to fuck too sometimes.
I mean, some butts are just begging for it.
And boy do I love to eat ass. Not only is it tasty good fun and hot as the proverbial fuk to do, if done right, your partner makes the cutest darn noises.
I don’t even mind if they are not entirely clean. Adds flavour.
Now how can I further alienate people… oh I know. Porn!
Here’s some stuff I got off the subReddit gfur, which stands for gay fur and is for posting gay furry porn.
Like this fun scenario!
Now like the invisible man said, let me be perfectly clear : do not do this in real life. It will not go well and you will be a total creep for doing it.
But as a fantasy it’s very sexy to me. I heart the idea of tempting a sad and lonely straight nerd boy into a life of bisexual debauchery by offering to be his “girl” and give him all the blowjobs and anal he wants very much.
And hey, don’t worry…. I’m the gay one, not you. After all, you’re not doing anything with me that you wouldn’t do with a girl, right?
And aren’t I all soft and warm and feminine and receptive just like a girl? I mean, does it really matter that I have a peen and not a vag when I can give you everything you ever wanted in a woman right here at home and so much easier to access and from someone so much easier to deal with?
No PMS, no drama, no mind games, no sexual extortion, no hangups, no worries about my reputation, no turning you on then refusing to put out, and you know I know exactly how to please you because I’m just like you.
Men know what men like. That’s all I am saying.
And all the fucking and sucking you want, 24/7, 365, with no need to reciprocate and no drama, just me making you cum so hard you see stars whenever you like.
I’ll even lick your asshole. And not just a cursory slurp. I go DEEP.
So what do you say, handsome? Ready to have the best “girlfriend” ever?
You know, it occurs to me that I just might be evil.
Mua ha ha ha.
More after the break.
The filth continues
And now, more obsessively frank sex talk to make you uncomfortable!
But first : did Wound Care today. Routine. And quick now that I am doing to like three bandages. Took less than fifteen minutes.
Two of those are going to be here for a while though. One is on the callous on my foot, and who knows how long that will be there.
And the other is on my big wound below my right knee. And it seems to have hit a plateau in its healing. It hasn’t gotten any better in about a week. So it might be some time before it too is gone like the one on my left leg.
After Wound Care, we went to Shopper’s Drug Mart so I could get their reloadable Visa, only to be told they “got rid of it”.
Hmmm. Just like my bank Vancity did. Now I am worried that there has been some change in banking regs or some shift in the wind in financial circles that is going to lead to the entire species of reloadable Visas going extinct.
Which would definitely put a crimp in my lifestyle. I don’t qualify for an actual VISA card.
And I utterly fail to see what the problem could be with the reloadable kind. They are in no sense a loan and they get their money up front so there is no risk.
I can only assume that it seems risky to middle class types because they associate them with us poor folk and you know what THOSE people are like. Anything associated with us dirty nasty poor folk must be untrustworthy and criminal and use only for evil.
You know, just like us.
Hell, at this rate, I might just end up back at Money Mart, assuming THEY still want my money in transaction fees.
What else. Still just kinda dicking around in Fallout 76. At least I have started sort of looking around for low level characters who might get “killed” and need reviving.
But other people don’t see to die nearly as often as I do. Hmmm.
It’s a testament to how well made the game is that dicking around with no plotlines to follow at all is still pretty fun.
I go around kicking ass on baddies in Events (short pop-up scenarios) and level up and sometimes improve my gear and that suits me fine.
For now, at least. I am starting to itch for renewal and that means starting a new character and I don’t want to do that until I finish that last fucking plot point.
Sometimes I hate how stubborn I am.
Anyhow, enough of that stuff, on with the outrageous smut!
WORD COUNT : 1024
Oh. Seems like I ran out of space.
Oh well. Here’s one for the road.
Awwwwww! Isn’t that dragon a cutie? All shy and unsure of himself.
I just want to give him a big hug then help guide his dick.
You can do it, my scaly friend! Now tap that sexy butt!
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.