Sorry about the mess. My winter coat is coming in.
My Stable Diffusion rant
As you all know, I’ve been generating images via AI lately. I do this with a program called Easy Diffusion, which is a user friendly PC version of Stable Diffusion.
And when people hear you’re doing that, they will parrot, “Just tell it exactly what you want”, and I am telling you this is a LIE.
I tell it exactly what I want all the time, and the result looks like it took all my adjectives and put them in a hat then threw that hat into the air and assigned the adjectives to whatever noun they happened to land on.
I have been trying to get it to put a male fox (me) into the lap of a female gargoyle (my good cuddle buddy Ada) for days now, and something always goes awry.
I have resigned myself to the fact that I will spend a lot of my time trying to figure out how to trick the damned thing into doing what I told it to do.
OK, rant complete.
A slight adjustment
I got sick of having breakfast at 8 am and lunch at 5 pm because that’s ridiculous.
It meant breakfast and lunch were 9 hours apart! And then lunch and supper(9 pm) were only 4 hours a part, and supper and midnight snack (guess) were only 3 hours apart. What an arrangement!
Well I got sick of that and so I am going to change it. Starting with yesterday, I am eating my lunch at 4 pm.
Still absurd. But less so.
When I am comfortable with that, I will move it to 3 pm, and then, eventually, to 2 pm, so that my meals can be 6 hours, aka a nicely even quarter of a day, apart once more.
I have also moved supper to 8 pm.
Maybe then, I will move supper to 7:30 pm to space it better with my 12 am snack.
Obviously, the timing for that cannot be moved.
My anti-reality stance
To recap : fuck reality. Fuck “the Truth”. Fuck history. Fuck memory. And fuck anything else that is weighing me down or holding me back.
As far as I am concerned, my past is dead and gone. Buried in an unmarked grave. I neither want nor need it any more and therefore it had to GO.
I was just clinging to it as an excuse to avoid reality anyway.
Well I am moving on, and it ain’t invited on the trip.
Who cares about all the bad shit that happened in my childhood? So my childhood sucked. So did everybody’s, and some had it a lot worse than me.
But that was ages ago, and that sad little boy is long gone too. I’m an adult now, and it’s time for me to get on with it and make some kind of life for myself.
One I can live with, instead of this present farce.
I could do a hell of a lot of truly amazing things in this world if I just shed my cocoon already so I can spread my wings and fly.
And share with the world all the magic I have been saving up.
More after the break.
Bringing what back?
I recently got the following song stuck in my head :
But as always, when a song gets stuck in my head, my mind automatically transforms it into something more amusing.
It’s a form of revenge, really.
Well my brain turned that song into, “I’m bringing Pepsi back”, which would have made a kick ass Pepsi ad back when this song was hot.
In my head, it’s a reply to an everyday situation.
“Hey Justin, where are you going? ”
“I’m gonna go to 7-11 for a drink. “
“Oh yeah? Whatcha gonna get?”:
“*music starts* I’m bringing Pepsi back!”
My imagination can be so much fun.
A rough patch
Got real sick last night.
Hit me around midnight, though in retrospect the signs were there beforehand. Bad tasting burps, cold sweat, a weird feeling of suction in my lower right abdomen.
Then around midnight, the bomb went off, and I got incredibly sick. So sick that my memory of it is rather spotty…. thank God.
So sick that I could not even tell you what my symptoms were. Was I nauseous? Achey? Did my head hurt? What gives?
There were no symptoms. Only pain.
But I spent a lot of time sitting on the toilet and kind of scrunched over to one side because that was the only way to be even a little comfortable, and otherwise just sitting there and suffering.
I remember wishing I had brought my phone with me so I could tell Joe why I had not come out to hang with him at midnight like I usually do.
Otherwise, that time is a blur.
Nothing of value was lost.
Eventually, at around 2:30 am, Joe checked in on me and I was able to tell him I was very sick. He, of course, understood.
Not too long after that, the pain had receded enough for conscious thought to resume, and I could think about getting up and going to bed.
But I was too terrified to get up. It felt like something horrible would happen if I did.
Ergo, I then spent what felt like a long time struggling with myself in order to get myself to risk getting to my feet.
It felt like I was fighting my way up a hill, falling back over and over again but getting back up every single time, until I finally made it.
During this time, my bed became like the Promised Land to me. I knew that if I could make it there, everything would be fine, and I would be safe.
Eventually I did get up….. and I was fine. A little wobbly, but otherwise fine.
I made it to my bed and slumped into it.
Fast forward to around 7:45 AM, and I wake up feeling perfectly fine. Refreshed, even. It was like it had all been a terrible nightmare.
I figure it must have been a bit of food poisoning. I’d had a bologna sandwich earlier and I suspect the mayo may have been off.
I suppose I should warn Joe about that.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.