By mean ol Mister Sandman himself, no less.
I am having a very sleepy day. Seems like all I want to do is sleep.
Which made it rough to get to Wound Care today. Getting out of bed felt like climbing a frigging mountain. I kept drifting back into sleep for a second then having to yank myself back from the edge and wake up again.
And it just wouldn’t go away. I mean, it’s 4 pm now. It was 8 am when I (sorta) woke up. And I have slept twice since getting back from Wound Care.
And I am still really freaking tired!
As usual, I am trying, and failing, to be mellow and philosophical about it. It would be great to be able to just relax into the experience and savour the calm, peaceful, soothing nature of reality at this moment as a rare bit of freedom from my usual anxious and overwrought mode of being.
But I’ve got shit to do, man.
Not a lot of it, mind you. In fact, this blog is pretty much it in terms of responsibilities.
But being super sleepy makes that pretty stressful too.
Hell, I was so sleepy this morning that I kept almost falling asleep while the nurses were working on me.
And that would have been so embarrassing! How very rude of me. How declassee.
That’s French for “not classy”.
Then I had a few microsleeps when I stopped in the waiting room to rest my poor legs on the way back down to the car.
Falling asleep there would have been less acutely embarrassing but I would have still felt pretty guilty about making Julian wait, or worse, come up to find me.
Jesus, ever burp so hard it feels like it gave you whiplash?
Anyhow, where was I. Oh right. And I was originally going to go do some needed bloodwork after Wound Care but I was way too sleepy to even contemplate it.
I need to be awake and alert to deal with that frigging LifeLabs location, It’s very stiff and sterile and clinical there, and there is always a lineup, meaning you always have to do the whole “take a number and wait” thing, with the added bonus that you have to wait for your number to come up on a video screen like you’re an old lady watching to see if her Keno numbers get selected.
For those who dunno, Keno is basically automated Bingo.
Then, to top it all off, my plan of going directly to sleep when I got home from Wound Care had the kibosh put to it by the fact that the sheer effort it took to get from the car back to the apartment left me too keyed up to relax right away.
So I had to sit at the computer and fuck around for like twenty minutes while the adrenaline slowly left my system till I could finally relax again.
And I hate, hate, HATE that “tired and wired” state of mind where you are too wired to sleep but too sleepy to do much of anything at all.
Because sleepiness has given you a case of the rolling stupids and even simple things like watching a fucking YouTube video are beyond you.
It’s thirty seconds in and I have already lost track of the plot of this cat video.
And I think that’s the most stressful part of these sleepy periods : having to deal with reality when my brain just plain ain’t working for shit.
Very, very frustrating for a super cerebral dude who is used to having lots of brain CPU cycles on hand like me.
More after the break.
Some unfamiliar tunes
Check out this bit of old OLD school metal :
Consider me to be headbanging slowly but emphatically throughout the song.
Seriously, like I said in the comments, this reminds me of Black Sabbath in the best possible way. And to think, I only clicked on the link because I loved the title “Stoned Back To The Bomb Age”.
In case you’re too young for the joke, that’s a pun on saying the US should “bomb them back to the stone age”, whoever the current “them” is.
The equally racist counter to that is, “So that would take them back to what, last Thursday? ha ha ha. ”
That kind of shit is why I do not miss the past that much.
But speaking of the past, Felicity turned us on to this track :
It is 100 percent a Christian song and it is fucking awesome. It is the best example I have come across yet to support my belief that faith based music does not have to suck. There’s no reason why it can’t be just as good as the mainstream stuff.
Except, perhaps, that the Christian music audience fears mainstream things. Hmm. And I suppose there is a certain amount of that perverse, “if it doesn’t hurt, it can’t be good for you” reversed logic at work too.
In fact, some sects, like the Jehovah’s Witnesses, seem to have a morbid fear of people actually enjoying themselves.
This is what happens when a counter-decadence movement outlives the decadence it was reacting to in the first place.
It has to find fault in the world in order to continue to exist so if it is to survive, it must find new things to rail against. New things, previously thought harmless or even beneficial, must be declared to be decadent and worldly and, ya know, icky bad.
This illustrates a fundamental part of fundamentalist thought : preserving dogma and practices far beyond their rational justification.
Like Judaism and Islam forbidding pork. Which made total sense if you’re a desert people living before the advent of refrigeration.
Trichinosis is very nasty and so it was probably not worth the risk back then.
But now? We have, like, freezers and such. And yet, this bizarre belief is preserved not because it makes sense but because of “tradition”.
The important thing is that the beliefs and practices are not analyzed, justified, or subject to any kind of rational evaluation.
After all, once you start asking those questions, the sheer absurdity of a lot of traditional practices and restrictions will become evident and enormous chunks of various religions will crumble into dust immediately.
And if you are emotionally invested in those absurd beliefs, that would make you look and feel very foolish, and obviously we can’t have THAT.
Solution? Just say it’s “tradition”. and therefore does not have to make sense. You are doing it because your ancestors did it and for no other reason.
As someone (not me) once said, “Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.”
Brilliant. Could not have said it better myself.
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.