It’s nice and sunny outside the ol’ bedroom window today. I hope that means that it is my ideal Fall day out today : sunny enough to be warm but not so warm as to be hot.

Basically, I like a “sunlamp in the fridge” sort of day. The sunshine keeps your surface area warm, as does radiant heat reflected off the ground, but the actual ambient temperature is still nice and chilly.

For a big sweaty fat guy like me, that is perfect. When everthing is just right, then it’s the best I have ever felt outside, period, and that includes days on the beach.

And from me, that is truly saying something. A hot day at the beach is lovely (I am always happier near the water) and the heat doesn’t bother me as long as I am either a) lying still and soaking up all that wonderful dry heat or b) in the water or still wet from it.

It’s the moving around the beach itself that really sucks.

But those “sunlamp in the fridge” days are all good. As a (very weird) kid, I used to find an out of the day stretch of pavement and lie down on my back. The warmth (more dry heat!) felt heavenly, and yet the ambient temperature kept my poor sensitive noggin from overheating and giving me heat stroke.

If I wasn’t prone to heat stroke, I would probably love the summer. But just like my Dad, if I get too hot, I get a headache, nausea, and dizziness. Sometimes I would even get spots in front of my eyes and a humming sound in my ears like the sound of a vacuum cleaner running in the apartment above you.

So, very not good, this heat thing for me. That’s why even if the rest of me is enjoying the heat, I have to keep my head cool or I will become quite ill.

Things are going OK with me. Nice to have (currently) $415 in my wallet. That’s an unusual feeling. Right now, I am resisting the urge to make plans for the money. It’s all too new to me yet and I have to give myself time to adjust to the new realities of my high income or I will become overcome with option paralysis and end up freaking out when I should be just plain enjoying it.

It’s complicated being me.

One idea I am pondering doing is doing some grocery shopping for myself to get the sort of things that we either can’t get at Costco (they have weird gaps in what they stock and the minute you get used to something, suddenly it is gone) or that would COULD get at Costco but I am the only one who would eat it, so it is not exactly the right thing for a communal purchase.

Mainly, I am thinking of convenience foods. Things like microwave burritos, frozen entrees, maybe a bag of frozen mixed vegetables, and so on.

What I want is to create the conditions for me to eat better. Less junk, more real food. If I have easy to make food at hand, I will be way less tempted to have peanut butter and jam sandwich, a bowl of munchies, and a piece of fruit for every single fucking meal.

I will also investigate canned goods, like some of the soups that I really like, like Scotch Broth and Chicken Noodle. I grew up on Campbell’s soup and while I am sure that I am still at least partially pickled from the high sodium content, otherwise they are quite healthy and sure as hell a lot better for me than chips or cheezies.

And more than just improving my nutrition, I think that having more of what my brain thinks of as “real food” will be good for me emotionally as well. There is a powerful truth to the concept of “comfort food” and if you grew up with a mother who cooked for you like I did, that sort of homey food can do wonders for you sense of well-being and security in this cold and uncaring world.

So I may begin investing some of my newfound wealth in better food for myself. I am still learning to reach out into the world and grab the things that will make me happy, and this would be great practice.

I will have to experiment a little to see what foods give me the biggest comfort bang for my still-precious buck, but it seems like a good investment. Better nutrition plus more comfort seems like a powerful one-two knockout punch against depression.

No rush, though. I will let my mind process all the possibilities and come up with some genuine inspiration on its own schedule. The money isn’t going anywhere.

What else… oh yeah, I had a weird dream the other day. Not as weird as that fascist one, but odd.

In the dream, I went to Tim Horton’s because I decided to use some of my newfound wealth to buy some donuts and TimBits to share with my friends. And somehow, in this universe, Tim’s was right next door to the skyscraper of an apartment building we all lived in.

So I go to Tim’s and order a dozen donuts, no coconut. (I don’t like coconut.) The girl behind the counter seems to understand me, but then starts putting only coconut ones in there and I have to be very firm and clear with her that I wanted NO COCONUT. This happens again with the TimBits.

Then I get home, and somehow, the donut items have transformed into a chicken sandwich and a bottle coffee drink. D’oh! I say to myself. She gave me the wrong order!

Then I remember her telling me that she couldn’t give refund to anyone for any reason. So now I am out fifteen bucks (damn, dreamland donuts are expensive) and I don’t have any donuts to show for it.

So the next day, I go back, determined to use all my charm and persuasiveness to convince her to give me a refund anyhow. No dice. She does agree to store credit though, so I figure, what the hell, and put in my order again.

This time, instead of TimBits, she starts pulling out things that look like skewered meat made out of chocolate. And the coconut thing starts up again too.

I start to get really pissed off, and that’s what trips the circuit breaker and ends the dream.

Sure, it;s not exactly Fellini, but it was such a vivid and particular dream.

And of course, super Canadian.

That’s all for today folks. Oh wait… plus my vid.

Have a great Sunday!