I messed about with music again today.

I think I will stop using that as a way to do a day’s video,though.

I am never happy with the results.

I need more time to make the really good stuff!

There was a serious thunderstorm here on Lulu Island today. But it was during the day, so no visible lightning. What a waste.

Anyhow, as per usual, I got stuff to share.

Like this instant it-video of this week, called Ask A Slave.

It’s a brilliant idea for some fairly low overhead web content. It’s generally pretty hard to milk the age of slavery for laughs without coming across as racist or at least incredibly insensitive, but this actress has nailed it hard.

And it mines its laughter from one of the most primal forms of comedy ever : stupidity. Even little kids laugh at stupidity, although admittedly, the bar is set pretty low for them.

But this is stupidity that requires knowledge and understanding to appreciate, which of course makes it comedy caviar for the Internet set. And her sense of humour seals the deal, of course.

Personally, I would have answered the question about how she got the job as George Washington’s maid with “His wife bought me. ” and left it at that.

But that is just me being a nitpicky comedy bitch. It’s great stuff and I am sure it will get loads of hits, at least until they run out of stupid questions to answer.

And what are the odds of that?

Next, we have this intriguing if somewhat contrived seemed flick.

It has a bit of that same feeling of contrivance as all the other historical continuity porn books and movies coming out now. Let’s take a bunch of famous people from (marvelously public domain) history and have them all meet and fight crime and solve mysteries and eat Scooby Snacks.

And that is growing a tad tiresome. Individually, I might be interested in these things, but when it becomes a genre, it becomes a cliche, and when it is historical rather than fictional characters, it just makes me irritated at the silly self-indulgent mental masturbation of it all.

People who produce media based on actual history have a duty to stick fairly close to the facts because, like it or not, a movie about history will be how a lot of people learn their history and if they see it happen before their eyes, that will be the version of history they will imagine.

Sure, lots of people can tell you how inaccurate the movie 300 is. Heck, even I knew they got a bunch of things wrong and I am no history nerd.

But because it was the first many people had heard of these events, and because it was so colorful and vivid up there on the screen, and definitely because most people are not going to go and look up the real Battle of Thermopylae on wikipedia to get the REAL Story, it will still be the version people remember and believe, even though they know, intellectually, that it’s a work of fiction.

Still, the premise of Murder Your Darlings looks interesting. I might give it a go when it reaches Netflix in a couple of years.

Next up, we have another video that is red hot right now, but not for the same reason as Ask A Slave.

It’s hot because it has two main attributes that the Internet loves : it’s weird, and it’s awful.

Well, the chorus is awful. The rest of the song is merely odd and slightly offputting the way anything European tends to be. There is always that sense of an underlying strangeness to things like this, a very subtle Uncanny Valley effect, and having them be done in quite good English only make it weirder.

After all, the Uncanny Valley only kicks in when things are almost right.

Nevertheless, sans the mind-fracturing chorus, this song would seem to be made for me. It’s all about foxes and how beautiful and mysterious we they are, and how can I argue with that?

But the horrible noises that are “what the fox say” utterly ruin it for me. I am no naturalist but I do know a thing or two about foxes and that is totally NOT what we they say, okay?

Mostly, foxes make small dog noises, with a few unique vocalizations from the same general category thrown in to show off their sophistication.

We need some high quality animal content to balance out that terrible anti-fox slander.

Luckily, I have an animated GIF that will melt your heart.

And lo, the rat shall cuddle up to the kitten, and the people shall squee.

Awwwww! Best of friends.

And speaking of best friends, here’s Man’s Best Friend, helping out.

I bet he does a perfect Downward Dog.

And finally, of course, we have my vid du jour. Today, it is political. And not just political, but actually dealing with current events while they are still current!

I know, it feels weird to be too. I am almost never as specific as that!

I pretty much cover the subject there. Like I say in the text at the end, I have not actually made up my mind about whether this whole Syria action is a good idea or not.

I just want some more information, information from sources other than the people trying (and failing) to sell this war to us.

One thing I have figured out : seeing as this is a civil war and not a straight up regime change, it is perfectly possible for the Americans to win the war for the rebels without ever declaring war or sending a single soldier to the region.

After all, if the Americans decimate Assad’s forces with missiles and bombs and drones, and continue to arm the rebels, the rebels will ave a vital “not being bombed into atoms by the Americans” advantage in the struggle and likely win.

And that would be ideal for all concerned (except the Assad family) because that way, at least on paper, the people successfully overthrew their horrible dictator, and thence seize control of their own government, and nobody has to occupy anyone even for a moment.

That is easier, cheaper, simpler, more democratic, more humanitarian, and above all a hell of a lot more efficient than anything done in Iraq and Afghanistan.

It might even be the pattern for the future.

And regime change is going to have to keep happening, so we might as well get good at it.

Gotta catch’m all!

I like this bit of well crafted satire.

Reminds me of a lot of people I have known. Not in person, thank goodness, because I probably would have ended up throttling them, but I think everyone has encountered them online.

They are the nerds that make nerds look bad. Forget about the sorry nerdlingers that are merely socially inept and have trouble connecting with people in a normal way. While they can be annoying and rub people the wrong way, they at least mean well.

But these dudes have taken their above-average intelligence and puffed up its important in order to fill in all the gaps in their ego left by society’s nerd abuse, and used that to flip the script and say that it is THEY who are awesome, and YOU who suck.

And there but for the grace of God and my deep distaste for elitism went I. I was verging on being pretty insufferable in my mid-20’s.

Luckily, I grew out of it, with the help of some very patient friends.

Next, I have been watching a great little show called Kingdom via Netflix lately, and I scored a little personal coup via it today.

I was watching this episode from the third series (season) when I thought I recognized the lady farmer character from somewhere else.

“That’s Sandi Toksvig from the original Whose Line Is It Anyway!” I exclaimed.

Well, OK, what I really said was “Hey, that’s whats-her-name, Sandi something, from WLIIA!”

I was thrown off at first because they kept using tricky camera angles to conceal how short she is, but when I got a good look at her with something for scale, I knew it was her.

And it’s so rare for me to be able to do that (especially compared to my encyclopedic friends) that it pleased me greatly to “get one” at last.

And speaking of things me and my friends like (work with me here), I discovered a simply wonderful article about the making of the movie Clue today.

It is jam packed with the sort of details that make comedy nerds like me delirious.

Like the fact that the writer and director of the movie is the man behind another masterpiece of comic genius, Yes Minister.

That show is a textbook of how to make comedy. And Clue is quite brilliant too, plus he was also behind another sleeper hit, My Cousin Vinnie.

Clearly Jonathan Lynn is a force to be reckoned with.

And his original choice for Wadsworth the butler was none other than Leonard Rossiter (Do you boys have a Leonard Rossiter in there? No…), the mad genius behind the brilliant Fall And Rise of Reginald Perrin.

Go read the article… it’s a comedy geek”s goldmine.

Next, we have this offering from those Internet crack dealers at Cracked.

As seems to be characteristic of their style lately, the title isn’t entirely accurate. I guess I can’t blame them for titling things according to whatever will get them the most clicks.

Anyhoo, I am linking it here today because it’s a somewhat amusing skit. It’s not brilliant in premise or insanely funny, but it is fun to see how they pile on the various ways plots get fucked in TV and movies, and it’s something that deserves to be satirized.

So while not hilarious, it’s refreshing and satisfying for those of us who have gotten sick of the same cheap devices used in show after show.

Oh, and nice making no effort to look like who you were supposed to be, guys.

Also in the skitcom way is this little gem.

Is the guy with the mustache supposed to come across as a serial killer? Because I am getting a serious “wets the bed, sets fires, and tortures animals” feel from that guy.

Still, it’s a great idea, and what I particularly like is imagining that a whole whack of really closeted gay Christian dudes are going to see it and say “That works??” and go do the same thing.

Take that, homophobic “Christians”!

My favorite detail? That would have to be that the lesbian “Thanks, Christian Mingle!” ladies have a baby. That is comedy genius because it’s the exact thing that would piss the homophobes off the most.

My position is that I want non-hateful left-leaning Christians to stand up to the haters who mock Christ’s message and take their religion back from the Pharisees.

Next up, today’s vid, and then I will leave you with one final nugget.

It’s certainly the most earnest and open video I have made. It didn’t start out to be quite so confessional, but I liked where it went, so I kept it all.

And what the heck, this is the era of the New Sincerity. Openness and honesty and vulnerability are very “in” right now.

And I have a real talent for that kind of thing.

Plus, I do believe that confession is good for the soul, so to speak. I realized after making the video that I have been keeping my deflector shields up far more on video than I do in this blog, and there is really no reason for it.

With this kind of thing, I am at least putting something real and true to me out there.

It can’t all be mirrors, shadows, and fog.

And finally for today, a news article about a young man who has clearly made all the right life choices.

He hid away in K-mart overnight so he could huff all the inhalants he wanted.

I would just, at this point, like to point out that huffing inhalants like paint or gas is officially the saddest way to get high known to humanity.

And it gets better. Robert Pry, our young canned air enthusiast (he huffed 16 cans!) was discovered in the morning by an unfortunate K-mart employee.

Said employee immediately called the cops, who discovered young Master Pry passed out in a cubbyhole beneath some stairs, covered in vomit and urine, presumably his own.

His mother must be so proud.

Seeya tomorrow gang!

I am overrun with nifty stuff to share today, so it’s time to get a long little doggie (and a short little cat), tie our lassos to our lariats, and corral us some grade A link meat.

Today’s vid from me will be, of course, at the end.

First we have this highly amusing cat video.

It’s from a shelter called Tenth Life (very clever) and I love how it combines a gadget-based infomercial style with pretty accurate observations about what it’s like to be a cat owner to make comedy for all the cat lovers out there.

We are legion.

Not sure it works as a way to get people to adopt a cat, except by amusing us cat lovers and putting the thought of having our own cat in our minds.

It also makes me realize how easy it is to copy that infomercial style.

You just need someone to overact hilariously and the black and white filter from literally any video editing program on the planet.

Also in the comedic vein (located directly above the funny bone) is this bit of satire.

Exxon's Definitely Real Ideas To Save The Planet by TheKidsTable

What I like most about this piece is that it manages to tackle a pretty serious subject and satirize it effectively without being depressing.

I mean, it is depressing if you really think about it, but the skit itself is not.

And, like I often say, they made a very effective piece with fairly minimal budget. I am trying to study as many of those kinds of skit as I can so I can learn what simple techniques pack the most impact while still making the piece seem professional.

Because no matter how funny you are, if it looks or sounds like crap, it will turn people off.

Turning from funny to fun, take a look at these gorgeous retro style Star Trek posters.

An artist named Juan Ortiz has decided to do a 60’s-style movie poster for every single episode of the original Star Trek series, and they look fantastic.

I mean, check out this poster for Whom The Gods Destroy (a fave ep of mine) :

Party on, Garth!

There’s shape-shifting Garth of Izar ready to plunge a dagger into the back of an unsuspecting Kirk.

I hope that when Mr. Ortiz finishes the series, he makes them available in a art book, because I would love to have it. I love when fandom meets true artistic talent.

Plus, to be honest, he would make a mint off a book like that. And almost as much just selling high quality prints of each one so you can just get the ones from your favorite episodes.

And speaking of fun, here’s the most fun headline I have read this week : Police Bust “Drug Fueled Sex Party” at Masonic Temple in Michigan

Doesn’t that just fire up the imagination? I picture some sort of hilariously elaborate ritualistic orgy with wearing enormous plaster of Paris animal heads humping and chanting at the same time.

But sadly, reality once more does not live up to its potential. Turns out the Masons just rented the space out to some group that claimed they were going to have a “dance party”, and they did, if you consider the horizontal mambo to be a dance.

And I do.

In truth, it sounds pretty lame. One couple boinking, others filming it, drugs around. Sounds like a very low rent porno company and there’s always something very sad about those.

C’mon people! Sex is fun! Porn should be fun! Look like you’re having a good time!

I would be such an awesome porn director.

We are going to take a turn into the sentimental and moving now. Don’t worry, we will be back at comedy by the end of this blog entry.

First there is this excellent piece of Pekar-esque comic art about a difficult childhood.

I love that kind of thing. The comic book medium is far too powerful and elegant to be restricted to just telling superhero stores, as awesome as those are.

I view it as being like film-making. Anything you can do in film, you can do in a comic book, more or less. Both are all about visual storytelling.

And some things comics do better. That story of a neglectful, alcoholic father might well be too painful if done in film, but the distance provided by comics makes it safer to look into this sad corner of a sad child’s little world.

Our other heart-tugger is a happy story about an actor going out of his way to make an autistic child’s dream come true.

It just reminds me of what a rare privilege and honor it would be to be able to do so much with just a little extra thought and kindness.

I am a total karma whore, and so the ability to make people that happy with relatively little effort appeals to me greatly. If I should ever be so lucky, I will treat it like a sacred trust and do my best to be the best damn superstar I could possibly be.

None of this throwing a hissy fit in public or being rude to my fans shit for me. Stars who do that are repulsive. Get over yourself and be there for your adoring public, or stay home.

And finally, today’s silly, silly video.

It’s another slideshow.

How do you like my pretty and ornate music? There’s nothing quite like harp.

I doubt I will stick with “Sarcastic Slideshow” as a name for these things I do, it was just the first thing that popped into mind.

It’s clearly a slideshow, and so that part will stay. It gets the basic idea of what to expect across. Still images and someone talking.

But it needs something to indicate that it is comedic in intent.

Silly Slideshow? No, too frivolous. Comedy Slideshow? Ick.

Oh well, I will think of something.

It’s fun to get ranty.

Maybe I should do it more often.

I talk about what it’s like to be a big guy in a small world.

This one turned out pretty good, I think.

I did yet another funny pix video!

They really are my go-to thing when I don’t feel like doing anything ambitious.

Well, I have caught up with Facebook, and you know what that means…

Way too many links to share!

To start off, check out this utterly gorgeous little critter.

I dub thee EMO FOX!

As always, click to enlarge.

That there is Kira the marble fox, daughter of a marbled red fox named Elain and a silver red crossbreed named Silver. Isn’t she adorable? And beautiful, too. Her markings look like they were applied by a very expensive makeup artist.

Imagine what it would be like to be woken up by that cute face every morning!

Speaking of which….

A British IT worker recently woke up to find a fox in his bed.

The fox was apparently just looking to cuddle. The man woke up and thought it was his girlfriend nuzzling the back of his neck, but instead, it was a foxy lady.

Or lady foxy. Or maybe a tod. Story doesn’t say.

The IT worker in question. Leon Smith, chased the fox away, which shows he is a total cretin and undeserving of such a magical blessing.

I, of course, am infinitely jealous of this man, and I am damned sure that if I woke up with real live fox in my bed (instead of my plushie one, Falstaff), I would greet it with joy and as much cuddling as it could ever want.

The only bad part would be when it went away.

God as my witness, I will have a domesticated fox as a pet some day.

And speaking of pets, this cat video has gone mad viral, and I think it’s obvious why.

The universe rarely gives us such perfect moments of comedy, and I am so glad that I live in an era where it has never been easier to capture and share those moments with the rest of the world, and make people happy with them.

I had my own experience with cat guilt once. Once, when I was a child, I was in the kitchen when I heard a tremendous shattering crash.

Turns out, one of our cats, Ace (named after Ace Frehley of KISS), had been catsploring my sister Anne’s room, and had knocked over Anne’s precious sculpture that she had with, and in the shape of, her own two hands during art class at Three Oaks Senior High.

And I swear, the crash was still reverberating in the air of the home when Ace was at the back door, looking innocent yet oddly urgent, meowing plaintively to me to be let out.

Of course, Anne was devastated by the loss of her very favorite objet d’art from her time in art class, but there is only so mad you can get at a cat.

Makes me glad to be a writer, though. My works might get deleted but at least they can’t be destroyed by a curious feline who simply must rub up against every single object in the house.

Then again, nobody has to “read” a statue.

Next up, we have this extremely touching and moving clip from Jason Alexander about his idol, William Shatner, and what it is like to be forever George.

Nice that he got to talk to Shatner during one of those periods when he was grateful to be forever Kirk. Must have been low on money.

Snarkiness aside, though, it’s a very moving story. I am pleased to know that while Shatner is not Kirk and Kirk is not Shatner, the Shat can pull off a really solid Kirk speech now and then.

And speaking as an artist and sort-of entertainer (when I am not being a rambling philosopher, a blank verse poet, a navel-gazing depressive or a political agitator), I can only hope and pray that some day I make something with that kind of lasting impact.

I would feel very privileged indeed to be part of something that brings great joy to people’s lives, just as the things I love have brought such joy to me.

If there is a God, please let me that before I die, and I will be content.

Next up, more comedy genius, but this time of a decidedly more antique variety.

I love this bit because not only is it damned funny, but it show off both Moore and Cook’s talents.

Peter Cook is, of course, the master of being dryly ironic and delivering those marvelously well crafted verbal gems that capture absurdity so well.

Moore, on the other hand, is the master of being adorable and shameless. The bright, eager, and somewhat dim expression on his face during this skit is comedy gold.

And finally, there is my thing for the day.

What was supposed to be a simple video to accompany the little bit of music I composed today ended up being an epic journey starring a fish. Sort of.

That is definitely a pattern with me. I start off with the intention of doing something simple and effective, but then the ideas start flowing, the elaborations start happening, and before I know it I have made something complicated and often very strange.

I once, as a teen, went to the kitchen meaning to make some toast and returned with freshly made French onion soup, garlic bread, and peanut butter cookies.

I should aim for simple more often!

The music I made today is decent. It’s fun and by limiting myself to about a minute or so, I gave myself a tool to use against my tendency to get kind of lost in the middle of a composition.

In fact, while making that bit of music, I felt like I was breaking new ground in my ability to imagine musical innovation and make it happen. To exceed the limits implied by what I already have and really shake things up in a much needed way.

I hope this leads to even better music in my future. Something with real melodic innovation, not just a good hook and time to kill.

That’s all from me tonight, folks. Seeya tomorrow!

If I was better at staying on point, all these “myth” vids would kind of make a series.

But I’m not and they don’t.