Friday Science Oingoboingo, March 15, 2013

Hey there science fans! It is the Ides of March, and while it would be far outside the proper use of a science column to tell you to beware some arbitrary date invented by Shakespeare, it still could not hurt anything to avoid all rotundas today, especially if you have been kind of a dick to your friends recently.

Might want to avoid Caesar salads too. It would be terrible for your death to make the news as “Persons Dies Choking On A Crouton On The Ides of March!”

Got plenty of scientastic stuff to share with you wonderful people this week, so let’s dig in!

First off, let’s start small with this rather clever little device.

Being someone who really hates the heat (and vice versa… to be honest, the heat started it), I find evaporative cooling very interesting. It seems like it turns humidity into a good thing for fighting heat, instead of something that makes heat a million times worse.

Trust me, I have had plenty of both dry heat and the humid kind. Dry is way better.

But what really impressed me about this fellow’s gadget was that he looked at one of those plastic room deodorant cases and realized that would be ideal for holding the wet sponge.

Something designed to let air go through it that is cheap and easy to work with. Genius. Then all you need is a computer fan and a sponge you have cut down to the right size, and a little water.

I bet you could make a mint mass-producing a slicker, more consumer-friendly model.

Let’s go one size up, and talk teeth. Specifically, growing brand new ones as an adult.

The method is crude and frankly a little horrifying so far (poor mice 🙁 ) but the science is there for it to be a possibility in the future, and I find that very interesting.

We might see a future where a lot of the complicated dental work that we do today is replaced by a simple procedure where they take out the bad tooth and then stimulate your mouth to grow a new tooth instead.

This might mean that in the future, dentists have a lot less work, or at least that their work is simpler and requires less specialized training.

Imagine a future without dentures! Old people with perfectly healthy, new, fresh, straight teeth, able to eat whatever they like and to heck with Fixodent and all its ilk.

Sounds great. A little creepy, but still, pretty great!

Next up in scale we have that always relevant subject, exercise.

Some researchers in Australia claim to have found the world’s most efficient fat-burning exercise regimen.

Now by “efficient”, they mean “the most fat burned for the least amount of pain”, which just shows that these are fitness researchers who have their priorities straight.

Here is how it works : you do three 20 minute sessions on the exercise bike a week. During these sessions, you pedal like crazy for eight seconds, then pedal at a slower rate for twelve, then repeat fifty nine more times or so.

This makes your body release loads of fat-burning chemicals while keeping your muscles from building up lactic acids, which are the main thing that make you feel tired.

This supposedly means that for an hour’s worth of exercise a week, you will get the same results as if you jogged for five or six hours a week.

Sounds sort of annoying to do, but I imagine it’s fine once you get used to it.

Moving up another notch on our scales of ten, let’s talk about a worldwide internet for robots.

First off, let’s get this out of the way : HELLO SKYNET!

Are we done now? Good.

It’s called Rapyuta, and idea is that robots worldwide would use wireless Internet access to plus in to a database of existing solutions for the sorts of problems robots might face, or if they have just solved a problem themselves, upload that database to the system.

That way, instead of every robot starting from scratch and having to reinvent the wheel every time it comes across a problem that is not in its own local database, robots all over the world can share solutions and the state of robot intelligence can advance far, far more rapidly.

In essence, it gives robots culture. And given that robots have computers for brains, that is a culture that can advance incredibly fast.

Finally for today, we have this large scale simulation of just what it is like in the local neighborhood of our little old Solar System.

And just look at all those stars with planets around them. All those marvelous possibilities!

As we have learned in this column before, evidence is piling up that having planets is the normal thing for suns and having none is the distinct outlier, which means that you can pick any star in the night sky and say “Yup. There’s planets there. ”

The video illustrates that point in a marvelously perspective enriching way by starting with Earth and then zooming out while keeping our friendly yellow sun centered at all time.

It has that Powers of Ten feeling of majesty and scope, and really makes a little naked beach ape sitting at a computer on this little clod of dirt feel both inspired and humbled.

FYI, the video was made using the Hayden Platentarium’s Digital Universe, which is the world’s most comprehensive and accurate simulation of the universe.

I would really love to play around with that for a little while.

“Plot a course to Omicron Beta, Ensign Ro. Maximum warp. ”

Then play the TNG theme while you watch the universe go by.

Well that is it for this week, loyal science fans! Meet me back here next week and I swear I will once more have my pockets full of marvelous things for us to gape and wonder about.

Until then, true believers thinkers, keep your minds open, your standards high, and your hearts ready to be filled with the wonder of the true magic of this wonderful and amazing Universe!

Something to say

Wow, I am just plain lost tonight. No idea what to write about. Tabula rasa. Blank slate. Nothing.

So welcome to my totally winging it, even more so than usual. My brain tank is totally empty. Honestly, I don’t feel like writing at all. I feel like just fucking around playing video games and being silly online.

But well, being a grownup starts with realizing that doing things you do not feel like doing is not the worst thing in the world and that it doesn’t mean you have lost some imaginary battle with authority or that you should be angry at the very idea of something besides mindless self-indulgence.

It just means that you have decided that the rewards of doing what you do not feel like doing justify doing it anyhow. And you are an adult pretty much in direct proportion to the degree to which you can internalize this lesson, this truth, this possibility.

I feel like I am just starting on that journey in many ways. I have squandered a decade and more of my life letting depression call the shots and thus avoid having to deal with the adult truths of the world.

Depression is a powerful tool for never really growing up.

Nobody truly makes it all the way, though. There will always be that inner child within us who wants everything now and doesn’t want to do anything but eat ice cream and play video games and who will never really accept the need to do things which are boring or scary or hard.

You can see this in people’s dreams. I am of a generation that was universally taught that we are very special unique snowflakes who can grow up to do whatever it is we really like doing for a living, thus neatly negating the very idea of working for a living.

Love science? Be a scientist! Love singing? Be a rock star! Love sports? Be a pro athlete! You can be whatever you want to be if you just try hard enough! And then you will be able to have fun all day and get paid for it, too!

And the people telling us this meant well. They really did. They wanted to give us permission to dream and to believe that adulthood was going to be great and gave us a reason to work hard in school and keep looking forward to the future.

But it was a bad long term plan. In the short term, it works great. Kids love the message and it makes them happy. Adults feel like they are preparing the kids to go out there and take on that world. They could be forgiven, in fact, for feeling like they are giving their kids the kind of hope and motivation that they wish they had gotten themselves.

Certainly, from the point of view of a baby boomer raised by Depression-era Greatest Generation parents who taught them to keep their head down, get a practical education, and become a corporate drone or a civil service cog,someone who might just feel like their own dreams were taken away from them and who wonder what might have been had they just been giving room to fly, it sound fantastic.

But here’s the thing : life is work. No matter what your dreams are, once you leave the comforting arms of academia where everything is graded and tested and taught, you are going to have to do a lot of things you do not feel like in order to get anywhere.

And that means doing a lot of things that will make your inner child throw a shit fit. Stuff that is boring, gross, scary, hard, and not even necessarily guaranteed to be worth it. And that is going to just keep going till the day you die. Even retirement will only relieve you of some of it.

Even if you happen to be lucky enough to have the right combination of drive, personality, and talent to get your dream job, there will still be bills that need paying, houses that need cleaning, errands to run, clothes to wash, and so on.

And even if you are rich enough to pay others to do these things for you, it will still be your responsibility to see that they get done. And even if you are a rock star supermodel, there will still be times when you just plain do not feel like doing that concert or photo shoot, but you will have to do it anyhow. That is life.

Life is work.

There is just no way around it.

So instead of selling our kids the notion that some day they can get a job doing whatever it is they like doing best and it will be almost like not working at all, I think we would be far better off teaching our kids how to work and get things done. And most importantly, how to do it themselves, because they want the results, not just because someone in authority is forcing them to do it.

Because one thing is guaranteed : if authority forces you to do something, the moment that authority is gone you will not only never do that thing again, you will enjoy not doing it.

And people can get stuck like that for their entire lives. They can die old still stubbornly refusing to do whatever it was they were forced to do as children, and loving every minute that they get away with not doing it, no matter how silly that might seem to an adult observer.

And we definitely need to teach our kids that it is perfectly fine not to grow up to be what you wanted to be when you were a kid. That it is perfectly fine to have a boring, unglamorous, mundane job and that it does not mean you are a loser or that you just did not try hard enough.

The world has only so many job openings for astronauts, rock stars, supermodels, and firemen.

The rest of us are going to have to settle.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

Hmmm. Guess I had something to say after all.