Dateline : the lobby at the Vancoufur hotel. Registered, went to some panels, now I am sitting down in the lobby to take notes and blog and relax.

My brain pulled its usual bullshit, making me sleepy in the afternoon despite having gotten LOTS of sleep. I was fading in and out of the panels I attended 

But you know what? Fuck that shit. I am so very very tired of that crap. So I just soldier on. I am not giving in to it. There is a lot to be said for sheer bloodyminded perserverance without giving a inch. Tell yourself you are not putting up with that shit any more and that no matter what, you will not give in.

So do your worst.

It is like a lovingly strict parent dealing with a whiny and unruly child. Giving in will lead to disaster. Remaining firm will teach the child that whining does not work. And in the long run, they will internalize the structure you give them and learn to conquer their weaknesses and be strong.

The mood of the moment is not destiny. There is a force beyond mood, beyond weakness, beyond even the mind : the will. The will drives you to get want you want and provides the drive to roll over obstacles without even slowing down.

I am feeling so Nietzsche right now.

The secret for me is to get mad. But not mad at yourself, mad at the tiny puny problem that had the temerity to even suggest that it could slow you down.

Fuck that shit. I will burn the illness from my flesh with the fire of my rage.

And my soul will be as pure as my will.

Unrelatedly, I am on 10 mg extra Paxil today, and for the rest of the con. I am freaking flying now that I outlasted the static in my head.

Right now, I am being lazy about getting some change and phoning Joe to see wassup for supper.

I have granola bars, but I want to save my appetite for supper. I have had low appetite all day (I think I was dehydrated) so it is nice to have it back.

Time for me to go Joe! Byebye y’all.