I got an email this morning saying that the student loan people could not process my request for VFS to fill out the Appendix Three part of my student loan application.

Being a calm, rational, centred person, I immediately panicked. But after I got ahold of myself, I realized that the most probable reason is that I have not technically been accepted into VFS yet.

In retrospect, I guess I probably should have waited. But I am way too eager. I am sure the whole thing will work itself out once I am accepted.

Could be any day now. (Hurry up dammit, I need the worry space for other things!)

I left a voicemail for Patrick, the dude handling my application, asking about the Appendix Three business, plus whether it is cool to pay the deposit with a check from Joe made out to me but endorsed over to them.

As far as I know, Patrick has yet to get back to me. I was assured by Sheena (I think it was Sheena) that Patrick would get back to me “like, within the hour”, but I called at 1 pm and waited until 4 pm, and no call.

Whatever, I am sure it is no big deal.

On the identity front (great name for an industrial group), Joe was wonderful enough to drive me to Money Mart today so I could put $100 on the ol’ credit card. That money will go to getting my fershlugginer birth certificate from back home.

I am not sure how much of that I would spend. For like 77 bucks, I could (I think) have the thing in my hands as early as this Friday.

But I have no idea whether it is really that urgent, and I may well need yet more cashola when it comes time to actually getting the thrice damn’d BCID, or as I might as well do, the BC Services Card, which is the former BCID merged with the CareCard system so there is a single, unified government services card for you to lose and have to replace.

Reminds me of that bit in one of the Hitchhiker’s books where the Galactibanks had installed all kinds of high tech security measures like retina scans, DNA testing, and so on to make their accounts absolutely immune to pilfering, then issued their rich customers a single card that replaced it all because it turns out that rich people don’t like having to submit to hours of painful and annoying tests just to get at their money.

Ford Prefect found the card of one of the executives of the new, corporate, soulless Hitchiker’s Guide, and promptly stole it, and used it to do things like buy the London Zoo and tell them to let all the animals go.

Dragging myself by the scruff of the neck back to the point, I am going to attempt to order the copy of my birth certificate from back home online tonight. I am not entirely sure that it can be done entirely online, but I will try, and if not, I will order it over the phone tomorrow.

I will have to do the same for the CareCard. I swear you used to be able to order a new one online, but I can’t find it on the website any more. Joe thought it might be related to this whole “merging it with the BCID” business, and that seems plausible. I suppose the stakes for identity theft get higher every day.

I have decided that I simply will not let myself doubt that I will be accepted to VFS. This is partly based on the fact that I know the samples of my work that I sent in are good, and the people I have met seem quite pleased with my application, so the signs are good.

But mostly, it is a conscious decision to believe in myself. I am super talented, dammit, and I have nothing to be ashamed of. I would be perfect for the school and it would be perfect for me. I will go there, I will be righteous awesome, I will kick ass and take minds, and I will impress all the right people (and a few of the wrong ones, just to keep in practice) and when I graduate, it will be the beginning of a totally awesome career in television.

I will either get work in the industry, or I will gather about me a coterie of lunatics ready to take on the world and make kickass comedy with no limits. Anything is possible and everything is permitted as long as it’s funny.

And there will definitely be no limit to our artistic ambition. We are looking to do no less than make skits so fucking funny that they rock the world and set the bar higher for every other skitcom group out there.

Forget humility. I have tried it and found it wanting. From now on, my plan is to keep on thinking I am totally awesome unless the universe definitively proves me wrong, and even then I will probably just learn from my mistakes and go on to be even more awesome in the future.

There is a lot of power in this madhouse of a mind of mine, and I am determined to use it to make a place for myself in the world.

Forget the superstitious belief that you have to always doubt yourself, otherwise the universe will notice you and take you down a notch.

There is no Nemesis waiting to slay your hubris. Go ahead and believe in yourself. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s not like my current life fills me with joy and fulfillment. I am more than willing to bet it against a future where I am no longer trapped by my fears, but liberated by my abilities.

Sounds like a dream worth risking everything for to me.

I will talk to you again sometime tomorrow, folks. I love all of you!