Sorry if today’s entry comes across as a tad rushed, but I woke up later than I had planned and so a bunch of stuff had to be crammed together, including blogging.

See, today’s the day I am going to get to see my big sister Catherine for the first time in ages, and I told her I would call her at 1, so I am in a bit of a rush to get some stuff done before then.

Some days, this little blogging habit of mine is a lot less convenient than others. But I would never skip a day unless I was physically incapable of blogging.

I feel like I am a little behind in sleep. That’s probably due to the amount of diet cola I have had in the last 36 hours. I should really moderate my caffeine intake. Most of the time, it’s not this bad, but sometimes circumstances collide and I end up rocking a pretty high caff level.

Oh well, today should be a busy, active day, and that should at least help with the caffeine jitters. I am really looking forward to going to the Vancouver Aquarium for the third time in my life. It is a truly magical place. There’s so much to do there, and there are so many things to do and see.

And I get to do it all with my big sister Catherine, whom I have not seen in ages.

I may squee.

Had a great night watching videos with Joe, Julian, and Felicity last night. I always enjoy their company enormously. We are a funny bunch of people and Felicity has a real knack for finding hilariously weird little videos of old commercials or weird PSAs or whatnot.

I still feel like I have some sleep debt, though. Yawn. Would you believe that there are some people who think sleep debt is a myth?

It’s simple : sleep is a biological need. We’re not totally sure exactly why we need sleep, but the evidence is overwhelming that we do.

And when a biological need is unmet, it doesn’t just go away. It remains until it is met. If you need 2000 calories to get through your day and you only eat 1500, that missing 500 calories does not go away. And if you continue to under-eat like that, that food debt is going to rack up pretty damned fast.

Perhaps the simplest example would be the automobile. If your commute takes a half a tank of gas (you poor thing), and you keep only putting in a quarter tank, you are going to run out of gas, and it’s not a question of where such a gas debt is “stored” or where it “exists”.

I am thinking that the backlash against the idea of sleep debt is fueled by people who never get enough sleep and are in denial about the effects of sleep dep.

Me, I have no such delusions. I know that not getting enough sleep can scramble this egghead. Sleep has always been a challenging thing for me, and it’s been a rare time in my life when I am fully rested and alert.

And I know that’s a problem. I am never operating at full capacity. I am always fighting some form of sleepiness.

Wow, imagine how smart I would be if I was well-rested. It’s almost frightening.

Honestly, right now, what I want to do the most is go back to sleep. I have already slept around eight hours, and that is clearly not enough. I feel like I could sleep for a hundred years.

Perhaps I will suggest to my dear sister that we get together in the late afternoon. I would feel kind of guilty for doing it, but I am truly sleepy right now and I would rather be more rested and alert when we have our little reunion.

So we will see if I can be assertive enough to be mildly inconvenient to others.

I am getting better at the assertiveness thing. I am way better at getting server’s attention in restaurants and asking for stuff, which was a big stumbling block for me for many years. Self-minimizing can be a terrible thing and, coupled with timidity, can lead to a very thirsty person being too shy to get their waitress’ attention and ask for more water.

The urge to never ever draw attention to yourself, because that means danger, can become deeply ingrained. You can be a person who is desperately lonely and yet working very hard at being socially invisible. It is a sad state to be in.

I should know, because I lived in that tiny castle for a long long time. And when I look back on that now (and I am by no means out of the woods yet), I wonder what I thought was so wrong with me.

Truth is, some wounds run so deep that they are beyond what I think. Sometimes, the tail wags the dog.

Woops, time to go meet my sister. Slightly short entry this time. I will make it up to you all by adding 150 words to tomorrow’s entry.

Wish me luck! Talk to you again tomorrow!