Daily Archives: December 3, 2016

Be You Later

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(Tim, an average college student, is sitting on an old beat up couch and playing a video game on a console. As we open, his roommate Linda enters. )

Linda : Wait, shouldn’t you be working on your term paper for Microbiology?

(Tim doesn’t even look up from his game. )

Tim : I still have time.

Linda : I thought you said it was due tomorrow.

Tim : Exactly. Tomorrow. As in 24 hours from now. I still have time.

Linda : (sighs) Whatever.

(Linda leaves. A few beats, then Future Tim (FT) appears. )

FT : Um, excuse me. What the fuck was that?

Tim : What?

FT : You know what, you asshole. You just threw me under the bus.

Tim : I fail to see how.

FT : God, am I always this much of a dick? You threw me under the bus by making it so that now, I have to do all the work.

Tim : So?

FT : So I am fucking sick of it! You always do this! You keep putting things off to the last minute and then I end up having to do a week’s work in one night. You just sit around playing video games knowing I will have to pick up the slack.

Tim : Works for me.

FT : But I am you. Or will be, anyway. You’re only screwing yourself over.

Tim : Not from my point of view.

FT : And it doesn’t even make any sense! It’s the same amount of work no matter when you do it. So why not do it right away and get it over?

Tim : Because then I would have to do it, instead of you.

FT : But I am you, god dammit.

Tim : Not yet you’re not.

FT : Doesn’t it bother you to know you will be stressed out and panicking and cursing yourself when you become me?

Tim : Yup. That’s why I have to make sure I enjoy myself as much as I can before then.

FT : That makes no fucking sense.

Tim : That’s your problem. Not mine.

FT : Not this time, asshole. This time I am here to MAKE you do it so I don’t have to.

Tim : We both know you’re not going to do that.

FT : Oh yeah? Why not?

Tim : Because it’s easier to just do the work yourself. And we always do what’s easier.

FT : Well…. fuck. God DAMN I hate you!

Tim : Now go back to where you came from before I delete our notes and make you have to do all the basic research again as well.

(FT screams in rage, and disappears. )

Tim : You know, I should probably do something about that guy But not right now.

(Tim goes back to playing his game, unconcerned. )

THE END

 

 

Ten Thing To Remember About Trump

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Ten things to remember about Trump :
: 1. Remember that Donald Trump will not, in fact, be King of America, whether he knows it or not.
2 Remember that a lot of people still hate Trump’s guts and will be gunning for him with everything they got
3. Remember that even a Republican dominated Supreme Court will only put up with so much bullshit because they are concerned about their legacies, and that will put a hard limit on how much Little Donnie the Crybaby can get away with
4. Remember that just because the President and Congress are part of the same party does not mean they will get along at all.
5. Remember that while the Republicans have a majority in both the House and the Senate, their majorities are not fillibuster proof
6. Relatedly, the margins between the parties are relatively small and it would not take a large number of defectors on the Republican side to kill a bill
7. Remember that Trump’s voters are even know realizing that he will keep none of his promises to them and plans to totally fuck them over, and if you think they were mad BEFORE….
8. Remember that soon, all the old scared scary senile people who voted him in will die and modern conservatism will be finally free of them
9. Remember that the international community is not going to let Trump get away with any bullshit, they hate him too, and finally
10. Remember that we are all just people trying to cope in this crazy life and that people do not always mean what they say…. sometimes they are just saying whatever it takes to hurt the people they are mad at.

That’s all.