To be heard, of course, to the tune of this :
Man, going straight from therapy to blogging is a rough trip. Ya know? Especially when I was out of brain calories before the end of therapy and now I have to blog.
It’s like I am running a triathalon and only barely made it through the running part then suddenly realizing, “O shit, now I got to swim!”.
Oh well. I have food and Diet Coke, and they shall sustaineth me.
I don’t think I have mentioned this here yet : Foodora Canada is dead. RIP,. Got an email telling me this on Monday. The parent company is giving up on Canada.
Which pisses me off because I had just gotten used to them. I was especially enjoying the ability to order stuff from good ol’ 7-11.
Now I am going to have to sign up for Uber Eats to do that. And I would like to be able to say that I am a moral paragon who would never sign up for their evil service because of how badly they have treated my leonine friend Led Lawless.
But I ain’t. I am instead a consumer whore who would sign up with the devil itself if he offered food delivery at reasonable rates.
Oh, and there was a drought in my area yesterday. By which I mean the water was off in our building. A pipe burst and we had no water for 8-10 hours.
And that made me very nervous. I drink a lot of water over the space of a day, and now I was cut off. But push comes to shove, I had enough beverages to see me through the immediate future. So not being able to get a glass of water from the sink did not bother me so much.
Not being able to flush, on the other hand…. that had me plenty worried.
It’s very weird to push down on the handle and have absolutely nothing happen. Every other time this has happened in my life, the problem has been the chain between the handle and the float inside the toilet, so that’s the first thing I thought of.
Then I remembered the water was off and went “d’oh!”.
The worst part was not knowing when the water would come back on. I don’t handle that kind of uncertainty well. If we had been given even a rough time frame, like “it will be fixed some time between noon and five”, I would have been a lot calmer.
But as it was, I had no idea when things would go back to normal.
And I already have enough stress of that sort from Covid-19, thank you very much.
Things are back to normal now and I am grateful. For the next few days at least, I will remember what a lovely thing it is to have water on demand.
Then I will go back to taking it for granted like everybody else.
Gratitude always has an expiration date.
More after the break.
A Long Cold Trip
Normally I am depressed when I do part 1 and in a better mood when I do part 2.
But today, the script is flipped.
Whatever. Let’s talk about my long cold trip to this point in time.
I’ve spent a lot of time resenting the world for abandoning me when I entered elementary school. In this version of reality, I was a perfectly innocent kid who was cruelly mistreated, discarded, and shunned by students, teachers, the school administration, and even my family.
And that still holds true as the broad picture of my childhood.
But the detailed picture is incomplete without what part I played in it.
Not that I am blaming myself. I did the best I could. It wasn’t my fault that I was this super genius kid from Planet X. Nor was it my fault that the system just could not handle a kid like me.
After all, I was only a child at the time. Granted, I was a child who was more intelligent and articulate than most adults. And that, sadly, fooled a lot of people into thinking I did not need (or want) their help.
But I was just a little kid, despite all that.
The full picture, however, has to reflect the fact that I was a hard kid to deal with. My reactions to things were nothing like an average kid’s. My stratospheric IQ meant I didn’t share a lot of interests with kids my age. Adult or child, dealing with me was challenging and at times downright spooky.
I’ve seen footage of other child prodigies. And I get it. Hearing a child talk like an intelligent adult can be creepy as fuck.
It’s just so…. wrong.
And the thing is, if dealing with you is stressful, confusing, and unpleasant, and NOT dealing with you is an option, people will avoid dealing with you with a vengeance, and whether or not you deserve it, like I said before, does not enter into it.
I imagine there were people all through my school years who felt bad for me and wanted to see me do better, but that would have involved having to deal with me and that was not in the cards at all.
No wonder life slowly got better for me from around Grade Six on. I was finally growing into how smart I was. With every day, that Uncanny Valley effect diminished, until by the time I went to university, I came across as a fairly plausible smart kid.
I’m not saying I seemed like a normal teen. Far from it. But I didn’t seem freakishly intelligent any more.
Hmmm. I was going to talk about my cold emotional world but I got sidetracked. I will have to keep that in mine when I try again tomorrow.
Basically, I have blamed my emotionally cold life on others, but in light of recent revelations, I have to ask myself if I could have been reached at all.
There. That will have to do you until….
I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.